SUICIDE

by Dansk 61 Replies latest members private

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  kls

  I new an elder who seemed to have it all together,wife and kids .Seemed like a very happy family till one day no one could find him,well they did and it wasn't good.No one knows why, but no one knows what goes on in someones mind.My father killed himself also but he was not a jw, just always depressed . With some people what is on the outside is not what is on the inside. kls
• 

  blondie

  Hi Nazgul,

  He stayed only 30 minutes on his way back to the airport, but simply seeing him again was enough to throw her over the edge. She's doing much better now, though, and we soon plan to somehow tell our families that we have cut all ties with the organization.

  I used to get that way when my father would breeze through and show up at my congregation. Has she gone to counseling for the abuse? Even without the JW component, victims/survivors can be thrown for a loop when they are around their abuser. I found it helpful to talk to a counselor. Now I can be around my father, and it is he who races out of the room and I can go home still feeling calm.

  Blondie
• 

  Sentinel

  I realize that many have been hurt while being influenced by the very strict and rigid JW religion; however, in all honesty, these types of mental and emotional problems usually already exist in a person and are only enhanced by what they choose or allow to influence them...religion for example. Their perceptions become skewed because they are ill.

  Humans are imperfect. Lots of times they seek religion because they believe it will fix all their troubles. Of course, it doesn't. Granted, the JW belief system has very strict rules and regulations, but in my opinion we must take control of our mental and emotional health as best we can. It is our personal responsibility to our own "self".

  Having said this, there are also some people who do very well, while being completely controlled by others. These are the JW's that will be forever faithful and will never walk away or do anything to get df'd for. These are the strict Catholics or Jews or Mormons, etc. This is what they need and so they are happy.

  We are responsible for ourselves. The sad thing, is when a person simply isn't able to get the help they need, and they have no one else who sees to it that it's done. My heart goes out to those in such situations.

  /<
• 

  Sunnygal41

  {{{{{Nazgul}}}}}} I'm glad you have made the decision to leave. You will soon look back and wonder why you ever hesitated so long! Good luck to you and your wife, and keep visiting and posting here. We are encouraged also by news of more and more getting out of that destructive cult!

  Terri
• 

  czarofmischief

  I realize that many have been hurt while being influenced by the very strict and rigid JW religion; however, in all honesty, these types of mental and emotional problems usually already exist in a person and are only enhanced by what they choose or allow to influence them...religion for example. Their perceptions become skewed because they are ill.

  In one sense that is true - in some cases, perhaps. However, speaking as a bipolar person, I must emphasize that people who are mentally ill really AREN'T responsible for everything that they feel - and they have to develop an external safety net that lets them know what they should DO. For instance, sometimes I feel and act extremely agitated and irritable - this is a result of an overproduction of serotonin in my brain. But my external net - my wife and friends, and my displacement activities - my coffee shop, my naps, my part time job - lets me function without hurting anyone or myself. I have learned to listen to my wife when she says I need to calm down or take a nap - I have learned to trust her judgement over my own.

  Now a cult, by definition, attempts to become that external net. What if it isn't up to the job? What if that cult, which should be serving as a safety net, is actually an entangling morass of guilt and obligation that exacerbates negative emotions? What if the actions it suggests as displacement activities, like service and meetings, are actually negative, exhausting experiences that result in greater tension and reduced resistance to impulses? Is it possible that a disease like bipolar disorder could become worse and worse under such conditions? I think so, based on my own life.

  I think that the cult is responsible for exacerbating these conditions to pathological thresholds. Most people have ups and downs, but under the exhausting regime of boredom and oppression that the JW's offer, the bipolar condition can fester and grow like a blister that keeps ripping open and getting infected.

  That's just one example out of many different mental illnesses. The process in all of them may be related.

  CZAR
• 

  shamus

  I have been suicidal more times than I care to relate to you.

  Honestly, they have decreased about 90 percent since leaving the borg. I just could not take the constant guilt; thinking that everything wrong in the congregation was my personal responsibility to try to fix.

  After recieving zero help from the congregation emotionally I knew it wasn't the truth. True, I did not tell them that I was suicidal, lest I be disfellowshipped, but they KNEW I was down and the general attitude for those that are down is "too bad, too bad. what did he /she do wrong?", and stand back.

  I say screw them today. They're mind control is far far away from me. Thank god!
• 

  Rabbit

  Sentinal:

  I realize that many have been hurt while being influenced by the very strict and rigid JW religion; however, in all honesty, these types of mental and emotional problems usually already exist in a person and are only enhanced by what they choose or allow to influence them...religion for example. Their perceptions become skewed because they are ill.

  In all honesty, I am not sure whether that is the case or not, the subject is so 'taboo', not many people are too open about it. In MY experience of 35 years, all the people that I know of that either had depression or attempted suicide -- were not recruited into the JW's, they were born into it. Some posters have thoughts that 'weak-minded' or 'mentally ill' people are attracted to JW's...if that is true, ( and I don't think so...) then that should apply to just about ANY religion. Lately...Muslims come to mind when I think of the single-minded 'lock-step'.

  My theory is (((((((((Stress)))))))) can trigger these problems in anyone's mind, depending on the conditions and the time and intensity of the stressors.

  As someone said: "When it becomes personal."

  When you feel as tho' there is no way out, you cannot get help and you are 'un-officially' told not to seek professional help...it may be too much to bear.

  Lee
• 

  Rabbit

  Shamus sez:

  True, I did not tell them that I was suicidal, lest I be disfellowshipped, but they KNEW I was down and the general attitude for those that are down is "too bad, too bad. what did he /she do wrong?", and stand back.

  That was the general attitude I saw, too. I mentioned this to an Elder he said, " If you just attended meetings and Service regularly...you would not look so guilty." I was stunned. I said, "Guilty...? What do you mean GUILTY...?? He said, "The brothers and sisters can see something is bothering you...and may assume you are not strong and may be guilty of something." "So, don't LOOK so guilty."

  Well, THAT was encouraging. It was so simple...all I had to do was...

  Lee
• 

  LyinEyes

  My mother committed suicde in 1985, she was just 35 and I was 18. She had an addiction to prescription pain pills for years. She went into rehab for the , honestly I cant remember how many times she went, many thou,,,,,,,,and the last one she started smoking. She had many issues that contributed to her pain..........she was an elders wife, and my Dad was overbearing and harsh.

  Durning her last stay at the rehab she received no cards, calls or any encouragement or concern from any of the elders. She didnt have contact with any of her sponsors after she left the rehab and still believe that it was the "truth". That only lead to more guilt and sorrow , loneliness and feeling she had committed the unforgiveable sin.

  Feb 2, would have been my mom's a 54 birthday and my sister and I , both of us disassociated are going to visit her grave. It is a crying shame that the people in the organization feel so full of guilt that they feel that is their only way out.

  Here is a pic of my mother Lura Anne......
• 

  Rabbit

  LyinEyes:

  It is a crying shame that the people in the organization feel so full of guilt that they feel that is their only way out.

  Here is a pic of my mother Lura Anne......

  . not the greatest pic , but guess where we are at.........the Kingdom Hall. She was very loved by everyone in the congregation, but when she needed help, no one seemed to care. Happy Birthday Mama.

  Yes, it is a crying shame. I am sorry for your loss. I am glad you have a sister you can visit your Mom's resting place with.

  My Mom died 4 years ago, she too was a good person and loved by everyone. 450 people mostly JW's were at the funeral. When she was so sick...in the year before her death, she would sometimes miss a lot of meetings and almost no Service, she was mystified when she was 'encouraged' to 'make a b-e-t-t-e-r effort to get to meetings'! She took no offense, she thought they were 'just trying to help.'

  Now, after a marriage to a non-witness, none of my JW siblings or relatives or children will give me the time-of-day, much less visit my Mom's grave. And I am not DF or DA...'I did not marry in the Lord', that's all it took to be shunned by my family. And...the Elders agreed a few years ago -- my now X wife was in the wrong for forcing an unscriptural divorce upon me. I just do not understand...this religion.

  Lee