Let The Lambs Tell Us What They Need.

by Englishman 41 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Cassi,

    *** I have never been cussed out in so many e-mails. Wait! Perhaps I was able to convey a small point about keeping name calling, "cussing out" and all out nastyness in private e-mail?***

    So sorry you had to receive nasty emails, regarding your views. Perhaps that is why so many here lock the link? Yes perhaps you did convey the point to keep the nastiness off the board.

    First let me acknowledge that I understood your intent, in fact I thought the post was a very good attempt at trying to be fair. 'Ballsy' a word that can be applied to BB no doubt.

    When does being fair, tolerant, actually become enabling, to the offender? When does making excuses for abhorent behaviour, further entice reckless repition of bad conduct?

    How much damage can an individual do to other's reputations, career's, before the 'light bulb' fires? Must EVERYONE who supports BB go through what Rev Malk experienced, before having thier eye's opened? It really amuses me to hear so many suggest taking things private, as if to say, hey this is to dirty for public consumption, let's cover it up, present a unified front. Bah humbug.

    I suppose when SL and company made unsubstantiated accusations against a GB member, that didn't qualify for handling in private? What is with this double standard?

    We may be a community of survivor's, but I for one, do not see us as some unified organization of jwcom'ers with some sort of mandate. Maybe you do, and that's ok. Those who want to organize and form a BOD more power to them.

    I see all of this unfolding in the wide open arena of public view as big positive. Any jw lurker who has watched this whole nasy affair unfold, should at the very least..........give us credit. We as former jw's, just don't roll over and accept any method, any personality, based solely on 'righteousness' of the cause. Instead of making each other feel like outcasts for dissenting, we should be applauding the HS's, Rev Malk's, TH's, IW's, and other's who have stood up to the majority/cheerleader's from the very start. Well it took the good Rev a little while to see the light.

    I don't ever want to be viewed by my jw daughter's or other still imprisoned relatives, as not applying the same standards or critique to our issues and various personalities, as we so vehemiently point out the error and ruthlessness of thier organization. Fair is fair, no matter who is involved.

    Anyway Cassi, I appreciate your response, and thank you for the opportunity to have my say.

    Danny

  • jeannie
    jeannie

    I havent posted in a long time so when I saw this post I decided to write something. It was mentioned by (waiting) that sometimes people ask questions like"why didnt you run" etc. Since both y daughter and sister were sexually molested, some people have asked me"where were you at the time", "how couldnt you know" "did you have him arrested" etc. For all the parents who have had a child molested , it is heartbreaking. When you have been brainwashed and something like this happen the first ones you go to are the elders( at one time I felt so ashamed and felt so guilty that I didnt go to the police first..then I spoke to other parents fo victims and survivors and I know now that being a witness mother I was not alone. I thought that after he was exposed and I turned him into the elders (Itried to have him arrested but the girls were over 18 when I found out about the sexual abuse) I truly believed that the elders would be as devastated as I was and they would jump up and run to the police with me..they didnt..they formed a committee and with me there asked my husband (now ex)(but still a witness in good standing and never DF'd for incest) They asked him if he raped the girls..he didnt answer..he was aske dif he sodomized them..he said he didnt think so (?) then he was asked my an elder if his penis was exposed and if so was it pointed toward a point of enrty? where was it pointed? was it pointed to the right or left of their buttocks..I almost died..in fact I did..emotionally. When they decided that he would be reproved and not DF'd becasue they felt he had a weakness and was not wicked..that was when I died spiritually. I never asked the girls for details..I didnt want to embarass them , they told me little by little what they could handle and what they felt comfortable in telling me. You can help a victim or survivor in many ways...listen to them when they talk to you..believe them..validate their feelings..dont ask for details..let them know that you are there for them with a listening ear (an ear that cares and a heart that validates and believes them..and as Jen stated..fight for them. For all of those who are survivors I will continue to fight for you because I beleive you and have faith in you. My daughter was interviewed by CNN but it was pre empted and she feels so sad that she got the courage and it didnt air, but so many on the forums helped her by telling her they lvoe her and are here for her, it was a step toward healing. My sister just asked me for some tele numbers, because she is ready to tell the media about her sexual molestation by a witness (her brother in law) from the time she was eight up to thirteen. She is very brave, they both are survivors. Just knowing that there are people who care to ask the lambs what they need is very feeling and caring and I want to thank you on behalf of my daughter, sister and sons (verbally and emotionally abused by the same father) and on behalf of the thousands and thousands of victims and survivors of abuse within the WT org. jeannie from NY

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