Topics Started by zanex
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update on old jw friend
by zanex inwell as per my email a few weeks ago i met with a jw that is currently attempting to leave the org..it was quite an interesting meeting actually...he is just at the beginning of his departure of leaving the jw's so quite a few of his mannerisms were reminiscint of my own attitudes and perceptions.
it was a good meeting and we will be keeping in touch..its funny..i was straight up with him and told him that i had been having apprehensions about meeting with him and he asked if i trusted him and i was honest i told him no, that just because he and i were once jw's didnt mean that any measure of that trust carried over when i left the org.
i had to explain that to him...it wasnt anything personal but he is still technically a jw..he is still baptized and has not been df'd or da'd...for me that presented a very real issue.
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New experience for me..advice, anyone?
by zanex ini have been out of touch with pretty much all of the old jw's that i used to hang around with while in new mexico.
i have been informed that one of those jw's that oddly enough happens to be related to my roommate that i am currently living with is coming to town and i have also been told that he is trying to leave the org and doesnt want to be any part of it anymore but he still has a lot of family in the religion...another twist anyone?
oh yeah he also is "coming out" he is gay.
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Easter/Fatherhood
by zanex inthis last weekend was easter and i had the pleasure of spending it with my daughter, my ex and her parents.
they are locals and have been very accomodating with the whole divorce.
the ex-in-laws are still good people and they have good hearts and a mindset that isnt religiously controlling.
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11
missed birthday...
by zanex inso like my bday was the other day..april 12th.
iam now 28...not that it means much or anything...i got an email from my elder dad telling me that he had traded in his honda for a harley and that him and mom were doing ok and that they still hoped that i would come back to the meetings.
hmph...birthdays.
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Freewriting
by zanex ini am just feeling somewhat poetic for some reason...bear with me.. i love my parents.
yet will never be there, be true.
there is a wall between us.
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Daughter's bday!
by zanex intmw is my little girls birthday!!!
me and her mom are gonna have a bday party for her tmw!
i am way stoked!
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zanex retires
by zanex inhis anger...i think that i have gotten to a point where all the anger that i have been holding onto for all of these years is not doing me any good...i actually got into a conversation with my better half in which she told me that she was tired of the constant self-abuse that i put myself through.
i have been df'd for a long time and i have had time to get used to the fact that if my family ever wants to have contact with me it will be if they give up their religious beliefs..i can no longer allow the anger to eat at me...it isnt doing anything good for me.
i dont want to be angry anymore.... blind rage controls.
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11
Santa Fe, NM
by zanex inanyone here from the santa fe nm area?
doubt it but worth a shot..lol...wud be from the years of 89,90-2001,2002 i was in the santa fe south cong...
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Christmas Feeling
by zanex ini didnt get a chance to post this closer to christmas for my own reasons but i wanted to say something about the christmas with my daughter...she will be 2 on feb 1st so this christmas was the first one that she actively took an interest in and the reaction on her face and her body was incredible...i think for one of the first times ever i felt christmas...i really dont know how to explain but i am sure that ones here will be able to relate.
her little face just smacked of curiosity when she saw the presents then her face just beamed when she opened them one by one.
it warmed hy heart...i have been so cold and frosty for so so long and it just felt so good.
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27
moral dilemna
by zanex ini have been df'd for a good long time and have gone/going through the different stages of the healing process but i dont think that i am anywhere to giving up all of my deep-seated anger and hostility that i continue to have.
i have gotten attatched to it, ironically enough.
my moral and maybe somewhat ethical delimmna is: i am in a service provider position and i provide translation services for members of a specific community of interest...problem is that a certain person has come into my focus of the world...an elder.......a great many bones in my body want to manipulate and maneuver his life into the palm of my hand....then crush him.