it'scrap&theyknowit -
Either we were married to the same man or there are more that behave in the same way. The instances are too numerous to write about.
I remember 'the elder/husband' telling me he couldn't take a child to the doors as he wouldn't be able to talk to the householder - so I took all three. It was difficult with two in a pram and one toddler, but I'd get into trouble because elder so-and-so said the kids weren't an example
When they became teenagers it became intollerable. 'We' were the reason he wasn't re appointed as an elder in a new congregation - he didn't have 'freedom of speech' because his kids weren't perfect - actually they were doing nothing wrong at all. Around this time when my daughter was only 14 she visited a deaf sister, who had cancer, every day in hospital - even the day she died.
The husband was just such a needy/greedy person for recognition I guess some of the elders couldn't help using 'position' as a stick and a carrot - power game. In the years after leaving, my son used to joke about Bloody Sunday - we all dreaded Sundays.
He made it to elder again after the kids and I left. I only contacted him once after that to tell him that his son was seriously ill in hospital. He never bothered to call and my son died - not sure how he deals with that, but he's still an elder...guess he has 'freedom of speech' - if they're still buzz-words.