Your halfway there Cordelia with both you and your husband out ,that is a plus.It can be difficult with you not wanting your family to know ,and only you know why you feel that way.
Though I am not in your shoes ,my thoughts are along these lines .
If somebody doesn`t want to know me for who I am as a person ,then they are not a person I want to know.
Family or not.
Really the choice is theirs.
I fail to comprehend people who live their lives based on how others view them ? trying to please them?
You have one life to live ,don`t throw it away by trying to please how others want you to live.
take care. i wish you all the best .