Fading

Cordelia18

Hi I was on here a few years ago, I ended up caving to family pressure and returning to the borg I've since married and have 2 children

All the reasons I returned are still here, my parents are elderly and I really don't want to hurt them but I just can't do it anymore I need to leave before my kids are brainwashed, I need to be clever this time

Last time I was dfed and became dependant on drink I am in aa and sober now and learning the true meaning of sprituality I know without a doubt that it is a dangerous cult, but I need some tips on fading, its so hard when I want to shout from the roof tops how blind they are.

I've not been on the ministry for 2 years tho an elder rings me every month for my report and we just say we did a family study! I haven't been on a Thursday for a year and now on this lock down I need to break free tho I'd prefer my family not to know (they live a little distance away ) I'm lucky my husband has woken up and never wants to go again

Sorry for the long post but I'd love to get some tips on fading

Xena73

I'm trying to fade, I'm a unbaptized publisher but haven't been to meetings or service in a couple years. Our congregation was eliminated and everyone split up. Any advice?

Xena73

lol the borg is exactly the way I have described it for years! First time I heard it from anyone else!

Xena73

I added a lot of JW's on my social media but despite never really talking to me or communicating with me they only contact me if I said or did something wrong😠

Xena73

So far I recommend John Cedars he seems awesome

Vanderhoven7

I am glad both you and your husband are awake. COVID provides the perfect scenario for you to start your fade.

Theocratic Warfare Suggestions:

First step...change your phone number and have your new number blocked. Also change your email accounts and be selective about who you write to.

I'm sure you will soon get plenty of good advice about how to plan your fade from forum members who have already successfully faded.

smiddy3

Your halfway there Cordelia with both you and your husband out ,that is a plus.It can be difficult with you not wanting your family to know ,and only you know why you feel that way.

Though I am not in your shoes ,my thoughts are along these lines .

If somebody doesn`t want to know me for who I am as a person ,then they are not a person I want to know.

Family or not.

Really the choice is theirs.

I fail to comprehend people who live their lives based on how others view them ? trying to please them?

You have one life to live ,don`t throw it away by trying to please how others want you to live.

take care. i wish you all the best .

Half banana

Hi Cordelia and welcome!

Yes fading is the right way to go... The first thing to remember is never to indicate that you don't agree with the teachings of the organisation, to do so means an unfriendly inquisition and you will be disfellowshipped -- which would make family contact difficult.

So the best way to fade is to take it slowly and claim anything other than religious reasons for not attending. Say you are busy with other things for example but never go into details -- it's none of their business! Avoid calls from elders and don't turn up or answer the door if they say they are coming. They will hound you so be resolved to fade away from their attention. (They do give up in the end).

Look after your parents and all the best with your future life free of the obnoxious Borg.

DesirousOfChange

I think the best way to "fade" is to have been "stumbled" by someone. Refuse to discuss it because you do not want to discourage anyone else. But, it's simply SO BAD that you must have some private time while you "wait on Jehovah" to rectify things. (Just don't "wait" in the KHall when you can wait at home!)

OnTheWayOut

Fading is tough if your main goal is anything beyond civil relationships with your family.

D.O.C. has a fairly good reason for not attending. Or just blame weakness and busy schedules and YADDA YADDA anything until they get the hint that you just don't want to go there and just don't want to talk about your reasons.

Let them think its just spiritual weakness. Then add in that the elders talked to you recently, and they were total jerks.

Fading

Share this