ME TOO!!!
can't say all the times were bad-- i had some good times, some great friends....
thos if course, the party line prevents them from contacting me ... but, i know in their hearts they think of me.... as i do of them...
the strange thingis, that if my repressed sexual feelings had not returned (like a tidal wave) i would probably still be there... babbling on about you apostates, out here..
dfing was a swift, hard kick in the head*** that caused me to start thinking...not str8 away, mind you.. For 6 months i tried to change myself back...studying & praying 2-3 hours a day...preparing every talk in the program -- well, not the SM, wasn't allowed the precious kingdom ministry, looking up every scripture mentioned in the meeting, even tho i prob. knew it by heart.
i missed my kids like crazy, my heart was covered in a black fog in my despair at not seeing them
i goaded myself to change again with the threat of suicide, if i failed!!! and knew at the end of 6 months that i had failed and must face death.....
now a double sin enveloped me!! so i set out to plan a great final holiday on Visa card..and then to drive a car of a cliff that i knew .. i could not face a gun, and the final trigger, but could set a car in motion and drive over a cliff..
well!!!! i am still here!!!
but sad, i guess that i wasted my life on trash!!!!!
and cheeeee!! some of my gay friends that are religious find it hard to understand my dislike of christianity..
*** interesting isn't it... dfing is supposed to ahve the opposite result...but i observe here, that for many it became the trigger that caused them to think and AWAKE from spiritual sleep (drugged more like it..) LOL!!!