ruderedhead

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Posts by ruderedhead

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  52

  My Child Has Asked Me to Divorce Husband

  by HeyThere in

  1. social
  2. family

  i guess i am just venting.

  its a mess.

  i just dont even know where to start with this crap.

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  ruderedhead

  When your child wants you to leave, that speaks volumes! Poor kid!

  I would like to second what LisaRose suggested, that you try counseling if you want to try and stay. I would try to do it as a family first, reminding your husband that he is the one who changed the rules. When you met & married him, he was not an active witness, then after comitting adultery, he decided to be a "good boy" and do the witness route, apparently forcing you and your child to do likewise, whether you wanted to or not. He owes you that much. If he won't, and he continues with this emotional abuse, yes, please get your ducks in a row, and prepare to leave for your child's sake as well as your own. Talk to an attorney w/o anyone knowing before you do anything (except perhaps squirreling away some safe money). You have to protect yourself and your child.

  Use information from jwfacts along with the wt mags to show your husband the dishonesty of the wt.

  Scully made some very good suggestions. If you're close to any of your family, maybe they could assist you with keeping some things at their place should you need to. But definately speak to an attorney before you do anything. Talk to a couple to make sure you get a good one. Many talk to you the first time for free. Be discreet until you have made decisions. Protect yourself and your child.

  All the best to you.
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  50

  My daughter's wedding dilemma

  by RULES & REGULATIONS in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my daughter will be getting married this coming august.

  she and her future husband are not jehovah's witnesses.

  they will have a non-religious wedding ceremony.

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  ruderedhead

  Sounds like you have some mean spirited, hard nosed jw's in your family and their congregation. I know some are not as hard core as the ones you know.

  But if you and your daughter are not jw's, and she is close to this cousin, and esp. if she's not particularly close to the others, let her make the decision. But Oubilette is right, they are bullies, and I hope your daughter doesn't give into their bullying tactics. That will mean you are playing by the jw rules, and that is just wrong to keep punishing the cousin for his religious choices. What they did to him at his own Mother's funeral is reprehensible and grotesque! Not to mention un-Christ like.

  If she decides she wants the cousin at her wedding, can you simply tell the jw's before you send out the invitations, and if they tell you they will not come if you invite him, simply tell them you're sorry they feel that way, you love them and will miss them, and do not invite them and invite others she would like at her special day. If they get angry, explain that they told you they wouldn't come, and invitations are expensive, so you didn't see any reason to waste them on people who told you they would not attend. They made a choice, and will have to own it.

  Congratulations on your daughter's wedding, I hope she has a perfect day! Don't allow a few assholes to ruin it for all of you. It's about her, not them.
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  35

  Watchtower Really Does Totally Take The Position of Jesus

  by OnTheWayOut in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  watchtower has said that jesus is not the mediator of anyone but for the anointed.

  then they tell you that they are jehovah's organization and that the flock should obey them.. basically, the watchtower corp. and it's governing body is taking the place of jesus as the mediator for people.

  christianity, even by it's name, focuses on making jesus known.

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  ruderedhead

  Thank you for this thread OTWO.
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  15

  Sent cover design to a publisher and they liked it

  by nugget in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was asked by a friend to design a book cover for her book of poems and finally after 3 designs found one she was happy with.

  the publishers sent me a lovely response and asked if they could pass my details on to anyone who wanted cover art as i was obviously a professional.

  was both surprised and delighted.

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  ruderedhead

  That is awesome!
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  23

  What I really hate....

  by Perversion of a truth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is that i was born into this cult, taught and believed that i was going to live forever, , that i was never going to have to die.

  now i am in my mid 30's realizing that this life is all there is and that after that i am dead forever and i am terrified.

  i don't want this to be all there is, , i don't want to just live a few years on this beautiful planet and then become non existent forever!

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  ruderedhead

  Anxiety sucks! I've had it. The wt teachings amke it really bad for someone who may be predisposed to this condition. Everyone is different, but exercise helps me deal with the stress of it. If you can make time, please try to do some type of physical activity daily and see if it helps.

  Once you have insurance, you may want to see a doc about some anti anxiety meds until you can get a handle on this. You need some normality in this life after being in a high control, guilt driven cult. Time will be your best healer. You will find new friends and activities to fill your time, and that may help you.

  Are you ready to look at other churches? That may help you, and if you find one, the pastor or whomever may be able to assist you in overcoming the guilt that has been pushed on you.

  All the best on your journey. It will get better.
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  76

  What is the biggest regret or source of resentment because of being a Jehovahs Witness?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm sure we could all write long paragraphs about this question, but in a few words, what is your biggest regret, or frustration in life due to being a witness?.

  what missed opportunities did it cost you?

  .

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  ruderedhead

  Not celebrating my children's birthdays, or the holidays. Those are things you cannot get back. Breaks my heart, and sometimes I still shed a tear or two over that.
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  11

  How to tell the wife?

  by jimbojones in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  born in here and have been awake to ttatt for 3 months now and keeping it to myself is killing me.

  i do not want to da as i have many close friends and family in.. .

  i'm note sure how the wife will take it.

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  ruderedhead

  NAVYTOWN had a good suggestion. Try that. Move slowly and with a purpose. One subject at a time. Have all your facts as you broach each subject so you can counter arguments.

  And please have things planned for all meeting times so you can keep her away from the meetings as much as possible.
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  27

  New Job

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was fortunate to be recommended for a sales position by a former colleague.

  the company phoned me and we set up an interview.

  i accepted their offer - it is nearly double what i earn at the moment.

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  ruderedhead

  Congratulations, LouBelle!
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  103

  That does it ! I'm leaving ! ! !

  by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  leaving the university with my degree!.

  exams are finished and it's just a matter of days before i walk.. i was certainly stressed about doing this.

  i'm older than my classmates and armageddon was sooooo close!

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  ruderedhead

  CONGRATULATIONS!
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  60

  I had a funny feeling he was a Witness... and now I need help.

  by noontide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im in a bit of a bind and im not quite sure what (if anything) i can do about it.

  i was recently hired as a business consultant for a rather large company.

  the company that hired me mentioned that they are concerned about a certain department and the way its being run, as this department affects every other department in the company.

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  ruderedhead

  Is it possible for you to be very direct with him and tell him that if he doesn't step up to the plate, he may be out of a job soon? You are obviously trying to guide him in the right direction. Maybe realizing he could lose his job will be the slap in the face he needs?