so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.
i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.
some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.
@Ding - all good points. Especially about it being Satan try to mislead you. It's like a weird jedi-mind trick.
@tepidpoultry Agreed. Placing the blame on yourself for not researching enough. My family still thinks I never studied enough to "convince" myself of the "truth" and have it reach my heart.
so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.
i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.
some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.
There are all circles of people- it's more about finding the ones that you click with. I know young people like the ones described but I also know of some great people who are involved in helping their communities, studying, taking care of their families and genuinely nice. Just keep looking if you haven't found your "people" yet.
bbc news website has this linked on front page.. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40704990.
I read the article and lamented they weren't more accurate on the reasons for disfellowshipping. However....great to put this whole shunning thing out there for non-jw's to see so that when JW's come around claiming how wonderful their community is - people can push back and say...hey, don't you shun members (even your own family) if they leave????
The general public are probably not aware that JW's do this and it's not like JW's knocking on doors are informing the public- so even if the article is flawed, I think it's a great! As another poster said..who cares about the JW's who dismiss the article- I don't feel like it's for them and we all know when a JW is presented with negative info about the org they go into cognitive dissonance.
i was a window cleaner, i was at the time unemployed, homeless.
i had no education to be proud of (high school one a two b's rest c's) i was a jehovahs witness.
i had been a pioneer.
Love these experiences! Thanks for posting it!
i finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go.
i won't be going back - ever.. but i've decided the best reply to the watchtower is to be happy and i do try to be happy every day even thought i wasted my entire life on this religion.
i cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life i have.. it is only now that i see that most jws i know are deeply unhappy people.
This was one of the things that woke me up. I kept on hearing how happy everyone was to be in the organization but when I looked around in my congregation all I saw was a bunch of depressed, neurotic people. Some reasons:
That all takes its toll on a person's psyche.
i was born in 1984 so was only 9yo in 1995. i read on various posts on here and on other websites about false expectations about 1975 and 1995. i'm aware of the 1975 failure but what was said in 1995?.
So as a "born-in" I'd always heard that "this generation" will not pass without seeing the end, so we figured even someone who was born in 1914 itself was getting pretty old and "the end" was super super close- ( I mean what's the average lifespan of a person, right?) Then this article comes out. It was slipped in so subtly that i really didn't even realize this huge change until people were talking about it afterwards. It's so ridiculous.....
i've created a poll here: https://goo.gl/7xburo.
i'd be interested in seeing the results.. .
#qp_main1119848 .qp_btna:hover input {background:#00355f!important} #qp_all1119848 {max-width:815px; margin:0 auto;}if watchtower scrapped the shunning policy due to "new light" and your family suddenly agreed to speak to you again would you accept them back?.
I voted yes. My family is following rules - they are too indoctrinated to know any better.
I've always wanted a relationship with them - I don't see it as condoning their behavior to have a relationship with them if the WT rules change. I would welcome them with open arms- their not having a relationship with me has always been about them- not me.
Why give them a taste of their own medicine? We aren't "in" anymore and we know better. IMHO. It's not tit for tat.
so after a couple of years, i've finally re-established contact with a close relative (not revealing too much for privacy reasons).
it turns out that he is dfd (for the typical jw reasons, of course).
we caught up about a lot of things, including family.
Yeah I've had that happen to me too. My ex and I are both out for many years but many active witnesses are still in contact with him because they figured he left because he was morally "weak". In other words, he still believes, but he can't live up to the standards,
I, on the other hand, am not considered morally weak - but I'm considered the WORST because I don't believe it's the "truth". I've gotten emails about how horrible I am and the cold shoulder from almost all my old jw friends and a few of my family.
We are more of a threat obviously to their bubble. Any criticism of the organization puts the blame on them. Moral weakness places the blame on you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wktxjuyiat4.
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after being a jw made me lose trust in religion, from the lies, hypocrisy and greed of this organization made me lose faith completely.
what does one do after this mind f$%@, what is there to look forward to?
do i make up my own agnostic theory in head and hope for the best?
So you know how you might have had a bad experience with a man and then you think all men are shit???? It just reminds me a lot of with what happens with exjws and religion. It's a process-a lot of exjw swing to the other extreme. I was very anti-organized religion when I first left, then I softened my stance.
I work with Catholics, Baptists. Methodists, Buddhist leaning, etc people and some go to church/some don't. I see their lives as pretty balanced and they are decent, honest individuals trying to raise their kids and do the best they can. What matters is that you do what works for you. Take a break- don't do anything and little by little see if something peaks your interest. You'll find your own compass. The way you feel right now about religion may change or it might not. But at least it won't be just a knee jerk reaction to being a JW.
