A Poll Regarding Shunning

by pale.emperor 13 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • pale.emperor
    I've created a poll here: https://goo.gl/7XbuRo

    I'd be interested in seeing the results.

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    If Watchtower scrapped the shunning policy due to "new light" and your family suddenly agreed to speak to you again would you accept them back?
  • Chook

    I voted no, fuck them even if they are cult affected or family , they need to wake up and leave the religion, there is no healing while being subjected to propaganda.

  • Moster

    Even though I was baptized, I faded away and was never disciplined in any manner. Except along came "July 15, 1985 WT, the Governing Body applied the injunction in 2 John 10 (against antichrists) to those that disassociate themselves. No mention at all is made of the context of this passage (verse 7 tells us that these ones deny Christ as come in the flesh). Nevertheless, the penalty meant for true apostate teachers is now applied to ANYONE disassociating himself. The article is not specific as to whether this total shunning is to be carried out with relatives living in one's own home or not.

    The Witnesses are then counseled not to even say a simple greeting to such ones, and to avoid having them in their houses at all."

    My apostasy was of fading away and minding my own business, I was shunned by my family. At some point (my memory fades as well) the org once again reversed it's policy and my family came calling.

    So I voted Yes.

    Although the hurt and damage was already done, I did want to have a relationship with my family.

  • mentalclarity

    I voted yes. My family is following rules - they are too indoctrinated to know any better.

    I've always wanted a relationship with them - I don't see it as condoning their behavior to have a relationship with them if the WT rules change. I would welcome them with open arms- their not having a relationship with me has always been about them- not me.

    Why give them a taste of their own medicine? We aren't "in" anymore and we know better. IMHO. It's not tit for tat.

  • Sanchy

    Speaking only for myself: My JW family members are not bad people. They are simply doing what I would have done if I were in their shoes. I've tried and will continue to do what I can on my part to have normalized contact with them.

  • LisaRose

    The poll didn't come up for me, but I would vote yes. My family only shuns me because they have been manipulated and deceived into doing so and they think they are doing the right thing. I cannot judge them for that, because at one time I did the same, my sister who shuns me was disfellowshiped for many years and was shunned by me.

  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    Yes. They are captive to a concept, and the only way to have any hope at freeing them is to be able to speak to them and hopefully find the right time to introduce sanity.

  • pale.emperor

    Not for me. Even if my family stopped shunning me, they've made it very clear "im choosing to stay loyal to Jehovah". So any so-called love they have for me isn't even real love. They're not worthy of my time. And anyway, it was always me looking after them. I got nothing in return off them.

    If they're so convinced from "scripture" that shunning is what Paul was referring to in 1 Corinthians then any "new light" shouldn't matter to them. They claim they got it from scripture, not men.

    As chook says "fuck 'em".

  • UnshackleTheChains

    Pale emporer

    I can understand you feeling that way. I think each individual has to decide for themselves as to how they would deal with situations. Human relationships are complex. For example, we can rub one another up the wrong way at our work place which can impact on trust in a considerable way.

    I would have to say I would accept my relatives if such was the case. In their mind they are loyal to God. In reality they are loyal to a publishing corporation headed by a group of heartless sharlatans. It isn't your families fault they are indoctrinated to such a degree, but as I say every individual has their own way of dealing with such matters.

  • jp1692

    I voted YES but I have a couple of problems with the question as worded:

    If Watchtower scrapped the shunning policy due to "new light" and your family suddenly agreed to speak to you again would you accept them back?

    First, I couldn't "accept them back" because I have never shunned them. The shunning has always been just one-way.

    So, if my recalcitrant family members that have shunned me suddenly got back in touch I would welcome them. But I would be hesitant. While I wouldn't put any conditions on our relationship, I would be cautious. I would also have no problem letting them know (when appropriate) that I was very hurt by their behavior and that--if they want to become restored to my good graces--they will have to rebuild their trust with me.

    I think it's important to keep in mind that (and without absolving them of responsibility) they are victims too.

    Finally, your question only allows for family members to attempt to reconcile due to a change in WT policy on shunning. Would it be different if our family members decided to reconcile in spite of no such change? I think so.

    Either way, I would want an explanation for their actions then and now, but I wouldn't needlessly expect them to be hoisted with their own petard of guilt and shame as the elders do in requiring excessive shows of sorrow and repentance.

    (BTW, I am neither DF'd or DA'd, just inactive, but I am shunned nevertheless due apparently to my lack of attendance at the KH and my insistence upon having a beard and wearing brightly colored socks).

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