I take it you feel no obligation to confess personal failings to the elders? Do you have any friends outside the Witnesses?
correct and yes
I have absolutely zero obligation to share anything I do or feel with elders, they are just people like everyone else. I either like them or I don't, not as elders, but as humans.
I actually have a few elder friends that feel much the same way I do and I have shared my thoughts with them about the WTS. It's VERY liberating to find ones in higher ranking positions that also see the WTS for what it is but use it to better their lives anyway. It can take years for these ones to "feel you out" to see if they can truly trust you. Once your there though, you have an unimaginable bond. Of course the uber-dubs are always shocked to find out that you, an inactive "weak" JW, are good freinds with elders that give talks at District Conventions. It's very confusing to the fully indoctrintated to see this and I LOVE IT!
yes I have friends outside of the JW's and they all know my true feelings about the WTS and they could care less. This amazed me initially. JW's are raised to feel like the whole world is watching you and knows everything about you and are trying to trick you away from Jehovah. Then you discover that few people know anything about JW's at all and could care less what religion you are as long as you are a nice person.
its not the easiest life I live, but who has an "easy life" 100% of the time? We all have our crosses to bear. All things considered, I think I have it pretty good compared to most