I'm so glad to be away from this cycle of guilt.
Back when I regular pioneered after high school, the hours were 90 a month. I only made it 6 months...I couldn't even do the full year.
I bought tickets for concert...and then later it turned out that there was a special meeting for pioneers that same evening. I paid money for the tickets and really wanted to go. My father guilted me over this, telling me I was like Esau, trading my birthright for a bowl of soup. In retrospect, I'm glad I went to the concert instead! The pioneer meeting was really the worthless bowl of soup. I chose wisely.