Rules & Regulations:
What you are struggling with this the cognitive dissonance created by Western culture (which is heavily influenced by Judeo-Christian belief systems) and reality. In Judeo-Christian teachings the god of the Bible is "good" and "love". The god of the bible only created things that are good. Anything not good is disobedient mankind's fault.
As a rational human being it does not compute that a benevolent, all powerful, higher consciousness that is only capable of good would allow innocent people to be hurt or killed. The cognitive dissonance shown by mainstream Protestant sects of Christianity tries to explain all that is "bad" in the world and ends up as a pile of rubbish. There is a good reason for that - the answers don't lie in Judeo-Christian belief structures.
That is not to say that it is all useless. I can't argue with ideas such as -
- Feed the poor
- Care for the sick
- Love your enemies
I was born and raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I got out through a slow fade. Then I came to the realization it was all nonsense. I became a nihilistic anti-theist for years. That took a huge toll on me.
I started studying Eastern religions and philosophies. The idea found in Hinduism, but especially Taoism and Buddhism struck a chord with me. Especially since they are rational structures that fit in with science.
Is there a god? The only honest and accurate answer I can give is - I don't know. I am open to the idea. I don't need to know to be happy.
I believe throughout mankind's history there are individuals who somehow gained some sort of enlightenment. They tried to share that enlightenment using the ideas that already existed in their culture. Then people took that knowledge and distorted it into rigid systems called "religion".