You named this thread "another sad non Jw ,..."
This means more than likely you have read abou the other recent ones and the answers that the "learned" have shared before you. Are you hoping for some answers that are not in alignment with the ones already shared?
I know how bad it is to be in lust with someone but your acking for advice that you already know your going to hear.
Walk VERY FAST away from this deal and get some hypnotist to try to remove that memory that you have for her as it will lead to much more heartache.
And in this case it is NOT better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
NJY