@Unlearn...Its funny, when I was younger and at Bethel the GB had an "aura". Franz and Schroeder had the scholarly, oracle thing going and the whole arrangement seemed on the real almost supernatural. Sydlik, Gangas and Klein humanized the GB. Jaracz, Barry, Barr kept us focused on the organization,its history, its progress and its goals. Barber provided the comic relief. But as I moved up in Bethel food chain I saw the underbelly of the beast: ass kissing, politics, favoritism, coverups, cronyism and the relentless quest for position and authority by men who would never be highly regarded in the secular world.
When the old GB started to die off and were replaced by the new GB, the "aura" was suddenly gone. When guys I knew and drank beer with as 19 year old Bethelite started to become lawyers, service departmnet deskmen and writers, I started to sense something was very wrong. if you notice there has not been a publication that provides explanaton of prohesy since the Isaiah book almost 10 years ago. All the books on the prophets in the last ten years focus on MORAL lessons. What happened to interpreting PROPHECY? That power seems to have died with the original GB.
The guys writing the publications now are guys I grew up with at Bethel. Guys I know. Guys who were just like me. And even though I was adored by the friends as a "loving" elder and highly regarded speaker I knew I was a sham that the whole thing was a sham because no matter what I did in secret, the privileges and the accolades kept on flowing.
I too feel bad about the people I hurt over years by enforcing the WT laws. When I look at it now its amazing how much of the policy and procedure we used as elders is not based on scripture at all but on organizational policy. I was embarrassed for the many sisters who had to describe in great detail, to three men and in some cases their husbands, the various sexual experiences in order to demonstrate repentance. Husbands guilty of adultery were not required to have their wives present, but wives were required to have their husbands present. That is total bullshit. I feel badly for the abused children whose parents would not heed my rogue advice to call the police because the experts in the Legal department told them not to. Bastards. I knew a family where every child was sexually abused and the parents did nothing because the Legal Department told them to do nothing. The damage to this kids is unbelievable and it pains me even as I write this. I feel badly for the mentally ill who were disfellowshipped when they should have been directed to qualified professional help. I feel badly for the free spirits who had no problem expressing thier views but were branded as rebellious, subversive, the Jezebel influence and eventually as apostate and DF'ed. Mostly I feel badly for my son who is still in with my estranged wife. I want to help him, but if I do they will cut me off from him.
I toonam now rambling.
I have only been on the forum for a few months. It is great to have someone in the group who really understands on a very personal level the horror of what we have done to people who deserved better.
It is a shame. I only hope that I can learn to forgive myself and REALLY move on.
