Posts by lauralisa

65

Meet my Lil Man:)

by mommy in

jw
friends

hey all.

i just got home from the hospital earlier this evening, but i wanted to post a few pics of my lil man for you.

i can't believe he is finally here!

Awe Wendy HE's SO CUTE!!!!

Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy happy happy happy !!!!

Love and so glad all is well.... laura

11

Depression

by DazedAndConfused in

since leaving the organism i have had a problem with emotional situations.

i have bee labeled "bp", for those that don't know what bp is.....it is bi-polar.

what i am finding is that anyone that shows a behavior that is not in the norm....they are labeled bp.. we are given lithium and a meriad of other me's to correct this "condition".

First of all, depression is horrifying when it has a firm grip on ya and won't let go. It's difficult to think clearly and reason through things. Bipolar disorder is easy to diagnose, but depending on your insurance and access to psychiatrists who aren't fools, it's also easy to misdiagnose....

A question for you:

I NEED TO HAVE A POSITIVE FORUM TO GET OVER THIS SHIT. I NEED TO HAVE POSTITIVE REASSURANCE THAT WHAT I AM DOING IS RIGHT.

I'm sorry I'm not more familiar with the situation you are in; perhaps you've written more about stuff on other threads which I've missed. What are you trying to get over? What are you, uh, doing that you need reassurance for?

You are not alone, and there are positive areas of this forum. If you wish to share more about your concerns, I'll read it, and I'll even care! Really.

Hope you stay well, lauralisa

9

Need advice before I paint myself into a corner

by RedhorseWoman in

jw
friends

okay, here goes once again.....and i hope to bob that this forum doesn't bite the dust the way kent's did.

sorry, kent.

lol.

lauralisa

Hi RHW,

It is a wonderful thing, I've discovered, to have friendships that are not frought with a continual fear of saying, doing, or thinking of something that would "go over the line" relative to any "loyalty to the organization" issue. You could push the envelope with subjects like: is oral sex ok or not, whether so and so's unbelieving mate was a hottie, how can you blame her; should you use your "good" china for whatever? Do tupperware parties suck unless you get a lot of free junk, etc.

When I was active, I had some friendships with other jw women that were quite deep and rewarding. With a few, I could talk about virtually anything that was on my mind, except anything that revealed lack of complete submission to the WTBTS, anything written in a current WT or Kirap! magazine or recently released publication.

I lost one of the best friends I ever had due to this deplorable requirement. After knowing her for decades, keeping in constant touch even though we lived thousands of miles away from each other, sharing marriage, childbirth, divorces, pet deaths, etc, she checked out the religion that had ensnared me so completely and eventually got baptized.

Once, when she was visiting, I picked her up at the train station. After squealing and hugging for a pathetic length of time, we get in the car to leave. She hauls this IMMENSE aromatic to the nth of amazing joint, and smiles, expecting me to say "wow, awesome..." like I normally would have.

I'll tell you, I never had a more excruciating next few months as then. I had been trained to assume that association with someone who deviated from the three or four behavioral modes available to jw's was tantamount to being worthy of death. If one tolerated or mitigated such flagrant disregard for "theocratic order", one could bring death, disorder and utter mayhem to the entire congregation!!! The stories (ahem I mean "accounts") proving this very thing were rampant -and were amazingly similar to really censored Jerry Springer episodes.

I believed (shaking head now) that if I let this event go without some kind of "intervention" (her getting "help"; she was obviously spiritually "weak") that she would like DIE at armagheddon, and I probably would too, and so would my kids, and ......then there's the entire congregation to be responsible for, or the entire district, country, etc.

She is "out" now, and after all of the weird bs from back then, won't return my phone calls or mail or anything, despite my practically pleading with her. We had the kind of unconditional friendship that is rare; we'd seen each other in the most utterly base situations many times - but this grotesque loyalty condition/requirement/contest that the ephemeral borg has with anyone or anything that's precious to you is stronger than the deepest human bond that any two humans can develop or maintain.

I just feel myself turning cold after reading about your situation; I imagine your conflicting desires: restore a good friendship, possibly assisting her "out", etc. vs. will she extend her (quite genuine I'm certain) warmth and acceptance of you ON THE eventual CONDITION that you like "come around" and then just bail, leaving you with betrayal and loss, when you refuse to revert to "control-think"...

As for the other crap that's being discussed in this thread other than the apparent immediate issue for you, I don't even want to know, but I hope that you stay well and unscathed, and let us know what transpires.

thanks, laura

23

GOOD GOD!

by SYN in

hehe, all my best threads usually have all-caps in the titles.

this one's a doozy!.

i went out to this nightclub near my work last night (saturday night), and i was having a good old time, when i decided to sit down on a big, flat futon couch near the entrance to one of the dancefloors for a while (it's an outdoors club!).

lauralisa

Hi Syn,

I am a very young looking 44 year old who looks 30, with natural blonde waist-length hair, size 6, yadda yadda. Since my divorce, I've only dated guys much younger than I - (I was gonna tell the age of the youngest, but too embarrassed). The love of my life, the guy I'm going to marry, is seven years younger!

Older women are fabulous. Too many ways to list.

Older women with weird entanglements with ex's and who are pregnant, pregnant and hanging out in places consuming alcohol, are NOT fabulous. No matter how much they ignite your hormones.

I'd say to you: put your butt in a freezer asap, and allow the next opportunity to arise.

Only because I care,

laura

19

Help Mommies, I need a Cure

by LB in

jw
friends

i'm getting the sore throat and i feel chilled.

i'm on the liquids and staying covered up.

anything else you can suggest to beat this thing??.

lauralisa

Hi LB,

I hope you feel better soon. The only thing I can add to the previous list of good advice is avoiding dairy products!

1. Dairy products (milk, ice cream , cheese, etc.) tends to "thicken" your - uh - well, the mucus that is in your ear/nose/throat region.

2. A sore throat - if it is NOT the result of an infection like strep - is usually caused by the slimey stuff from your nose running down the back of your throat.

This is why clear liquids - lots of em - are recommended.

Here's to a snot-free week for you,

laura

ps: Suscarra! LOL! one of the stories I remember the most is the one about the sister whose unbelieving husband STABBED her in the back with a knife because she was intent on going out to a meeting against his wishes. She went to the meeting anyway, because SHE HAD A PART on the school!!! (Like this was an obligation of life/death magnitude.......) After the meeting, she went to the hospital to get her puncture wound stitched up...... The society has used this example to illustrate "dedication". I think it is a good example of "unbalanced..."

9

Our words have so much power!

by Billygoat in

jw
friends

elizabeth and sara... .

two sisters are doing their math homework together.

sara is 10 and struggling with her new division homework.

lauralisa

Hi Andi,

I've missed your comments and ideas lately. You are right on with this thread, and it is a sorely needed lift. You're a sweetie!

love, laura

5

Effects of molestion--looking for sites

by ninjaturtle in

i know a couple of people who were molested, and it's very painful indeed.

i'm looking for websites that explain the effects of various general types of molestation, whether it be rape, pressure, or whatever.

how can one learn about the effects and be helped to cope?

lauralisa

Hi ninja,

Try this: http://www.sidran.org

I can't praise this site highly enough. Another Book, Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman, MD, is most helpful if you're looking for a way to get a broad but incredibly salient overview of the afteraffects of trauma.

Wish you well,

lauralisa

54

Has Anyone Invited You to the Memorial?

by Prisca in

jw
friends

the memorial is on in just over two weeks' time, and i was wondering:.

has anyone invited you to the memorial yet?.

my old cong knows my address and phone number yet no-one has visited or phoned to invite me.

lauralisa

Shelby (A Guest) invited us all!

If I had the time, I would have asked her about the details i.e. time, date, place, etc.

Other than that, no invitations. But that is a good thing in my case.

Interesting thread, Prisca,

lauralisa

6

Kids and the JW Religion

by txwild91 in

jw
friends

i am a divorced exjw with 3 children who live with their jw dad.

they are 16, 13 and 11. i am worried about the fact that they were raised as jw's and are now questioning if they want to make this their life or not.

while that is not a bad thing i am worried because they were immersed in this religion from the time they were born until i left the religion about 3 years ago.

lauralisa

Hi Txwld,

Welcome to the board. You could not have found a better place for an intense, exciting and accessible source of comprehensive information, advice, and support for issues surrounding jw's and those who have found their way out into the real world.

I relate to you because I am the non-custodial parent of two sons, ages 12 and 15. I've been out of the organization for over a year. Their father was never a JW. (He has custodial privileges because he earns several hundred thousand dollars more per year than I do, and I chose NOT to become 1) his adversary and 2) bankrupt and 3) he's a good father).

My concern is how they will adjust to the world. Will they totally go off the deep end? Without the guidelines and principals they now have what will they do? Where do they go to find the guidelines they need?

YOU are a PRIMARY source of guidelines and principles. You MUST provide them with information with which to reason and to make informed decisions. All parents must provide such things... it's sad that most jw parents simply pass this obligation off and on to the WTBTS, believing that those old guys and their supporting cast of thousands have a grip on "reality". The idea that they are a channel of communication between God and humanity is very (VERY) easily discredited. (And one does not have to be a brain surgeon to figure this stuff out

They will need YOU to explain how YOU have come to your own conclusions as to why this religion is suspect. With my own children, I tell them fairly bluntly just exactly why I chose to EXIT that controlling and abusive cult, and why I do NOT want them to be deceived by their mind-controlling tactics. I am really specific about just exactly these tactics are - and explain such things to them when they are ready and wanting to have answers.

You will find an enormous source of information and facts here, not only for your own needs but for theirs.

Please forgive me for saying this, but your ex sounds like a weirdo: trying to make a come-back with a "worldly" wife? Why do you think he even WANTS to go back? Is his new wife a good step-mother? Is she supportive of his religious - uh - confusion?

I wish you well, and hope you let us know how things progress for you.

Warmly, lauralisa

13

Childbearing in THIS time of the End

by Thirdson in

jw
friends

responsible childbearing in this time of the end .

i heard the talk that formed the basis of this article in the summer of 1987 while attending with my pregnant wife.

the stress was on not having children and devoting lives to preaching the watchtower's message.

lauralisa

Hi Thirdson,

First of all, happy birthday to your son! I wasn't a dub then, but I have a son who is fifteen. I was eight months pregnant with my 2nd when I had my first encounter with them at the door in 1989.

I find it astonishing at this moment that such invasive, dehumanizing "edicts" were promulgated thru the WT, slyly disguised as "counsel." (Of course, after I was enmeshed, I thought it was "God" giving us warnings. Ick!)

I definitely remember the character judgments that took place among the more ambitious "spiritual" people (frankly, it was simply gossip) as they discussed with concerned expressions the "wisdom" or spirituality of brother/sister "mediocre" after it was divulged they were starting a family.

Controlling another person's bodily functions is a fundamental tactic used in power-abuse ... no matter how many disclaimers are attached, or how "veiled" or subtle the persuasion.

If I didn't have my children, I'd have exactly ZERO blood relatives now. Scary.

Hope you guys have fun tonight! Apostofest!!! Also, Simon, I'm going to be your neighbor in about a month... !

love, lauralisa