Posts by gutted

6

Has leaving made you stronger?

by gutted in

jw
friends

this is a follow up to a thread on how the religion screwed us up (http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/207143/1/did-this-religion-screw-you-up-if-so-how).. i remember reading in combatting cult mind control that an individual that has experienced and left a cult is a much stronger person than your average joe shmoe.

i agree with this.

i'm sill in the process but i can see myself becoming mentally stronger.

gutted

This is a follow up to a thread on how the religion screwed us up (http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/207143/1/Did-This-Religion-Screw-You-Up-If-So-HOW).

I remember reading in Combatting Cult Mind Control that an individual that has experienced and left a cult is a much stronger person than your average Joe Shmoe. I agree with this. I'm sill in the process but I can see myself becoming mentally stronger. We have such a unqiue perspective on life living on "that end" and now making our own way.

What do you guys think? Has it made you stronger in the end or are you still suffering quite a bit?

29

Did This Religion "Screw" You Up & If So--- HOW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

.

gutted

I can't blame the religion for all of the things I will list below, some just happened due to my place in society and genetics or whatever... but the religion did contribute to:

-Low self-esteem: Do any JWs have healthy self-esteem? If they do it's IN SPITE of the system.

-Feeling like an outcast: Siting outside of class during any fun holiday activity, constantly feeling pressure not to get TOO friendly with kids. Carried same mentality to the workplace.

-Sexually repressed: Never felt worthy of a girl till I was an MS or did this or that, hence now a late 20s virgin.

-Social anxiety: Everyone is evil.

That's the main ones I can think of now. On the positive side, it's been almost a year since I stopped attending meetings and I am slowly starting to get more confident and self-assured. The process takes time.

37

Hobbies

by MrFreeze in

jw
friends

being a jw, especially if you work, there is no time for anything else really.

work, field service, meetings.

wash, rinse, repeat.

gutted

This is such a cool thread, it showed me how much more rounded and happy a person can be after leaving the JWs and pursuing their hobbies/passions/whatever.

I haven't really taken up new hobbies since I left (except for trying to pick up girls lol) but have more time for my passions:

-Writing music, both rock and electronic.

-Playing sports. I actually joined a basketball sports team I'm now playing on, and will probably join a soccer one this summer.

I definitely want to do more reading, specifically philosophy and join some other classes maybe dancing or something like music or art history.

60

Who REALLY IS the Faithful and Discreet Slave?

by TimothyT in

im 23 and im still a jw.

the jehovahs witnesses claim that god is using their earthly organisation in the last days!

im realy not too sure.

gutted

Timothy,

Well if you don't believe in Matt 24:45, then you don't believe in a faithful and discreet slave class. This is the most important scripture in JW teaching, because it apparently gives them authority to represent God.

The whole idea is that Jesus came in 1914, then he examined them and finally in 1919 he appointed the faithful and discreet slave class because they were dispensing spiritual "food at the proper time". If you do a historical examination of that time period and what the organization were teaching you will find your answer.

I highly recommend the book "Captives of a Concept" that goes in-depth into this subject.

22

Crazy Is Flirting a Sin? Q & A

by Iamallcool in

christianity -- christian living/is flirting a sinadvertisement.

expert: phillip senn - 10/10/2008.

question.

gutted

The way I see it:

If you're a diehard Christian you're better off not flirting.

If you're a normal human being and single, have fun

75

Why Women Love Jerks

by compound complex in

jw
friends

do nice guys lose to bad boys?.

[see advert.

i'm afraid to look ...].

gutted

I love this thread . This really rings true for me as I've been reading lots on this subject, attracting women etc.

First off, as lots have stated there are differences between a jerk/bad boy/someone with confidence. Does it really matter? Well if you are looking long-term yes, short-term no.

Let me explain. In the short-term, in that initial conversation/interaction and initial attraction ALL women want an "alpha" male. What I mean is that they want someone to go after them, to show them interest, to take the first step. Sure they might not like it if the guy does it "super alpha jerk mode" but the man has to take the lead.

Ok so first step, great, but think about the difference between approaching a woman like a wimp and like a man. Think "uuuh hi there... where are you from..??" looking sheepish with a soft voice versus "Hi! My name is Gutted, I had to meet you" looking confident with a smile and strong tonality.

I think a lot of guys misunderstand this idea, that you can just be this meek guy floating around the girls and then a "movie-magic" moment will happen and there will be instant attraction and love. This is how I used to think, that I would just find that girl that "clicked". Yeah right, that's pretty damn rare, you either 1. stumble your way through an approach or 2. do it confidently.

That is why the "jerks" or "bad boys" succeed in attracting, they do it with confidence. They don't put the women up on a pedestal like nice guys, they tease them, they flirt with them, the invoke emotions in them nice guys are too afraid to do.

Now long-term, I think that's already been covered quite well, but a man can still be a confident man in himself and treat his woman right.

16

seperating anger for WT from my mom

by dogisgod in

jw
friends

i posted this earlier under the bitterness post.

how do i seperate the anger i have being raised in the borg from my mother who forced it down my throat even after i left.

she justwouldn't leave it alone.

gutted

For me it was quite easy to seperate the two. Hate the SYSTEM, not the PEOPLE. Generally I see the people in the org as good people. I do understand others have more inderlying issues with their parents outside of just the system of the Watchtower, but for me this viewpoint is working.

44

If you could choose one book to suggest to a JW...

by SweetBabyCheezits in

jw
friends

i'm sure this isn't an uncommon question but i'll ask anyway.. suppose you had the chance to suggest one book, essay, article, or other writing with the goal of helping a loved one wake up... which one would it be?.

bear in mind the goal is to subvert the programmed hair-trigger defenses that cause a complete shutdown of critical thinking.

this automatically excludes anything that would directly place the wt society or its history in a negative light.

gutted

I would be very cautious with Combatting Cult Mind Control, there is reference to Jehovah's Witnesses in it, not in the main text but I in either one of the Appendixs or futher reading sections.

31

How Many Of You "Reached Out" For Extra "Privileges"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

whether you are a male or female, the organization was always making you try to reach out for extra privileges whether it be pioneering for a month, year or a lifetime, going to bethel, or becoming a "servant" in the hall.. did you feel compelled to "reach out" or did you want to do more for "jehovah god"?.

gutted

Damn this makes me glad I never got that MS appointment, reason being is because I didn't do the steady 10+ hours a month in service. Was on the school, commented, helped with mags/territories/accounts/cleaned poo poo/aux pioneered couple times but my service was too up and down for them I look back at it fondly now but it did bother me to an extent back then, I thought it was a fundemantal failing on my part for not enjoying and doing more service. I hated the service, but that is the main way people get appointed, via numbers.

10

"The New Rules of Healthy Eating"

by leavingwt in

the february 2011 issue of men's journal features an article entitled, everything you know about nutrition is wrong.the article is based upon gary taubes' latest book, why we get fact: and what to do about it.

i have not read the book, but i'd like to share some of the highlights of the article with you.

i'm also very interested in your feedback and reactions.

gutted

This is some solid advice and stuff I follow. Diets don't work, you need to make gradual lifestyle choices instead (like limiting soft drinks).

The one advice I don't agree with is on fruits. People need sugar/carbs for energy, but obv in our culture we get too much of it from crap. If you limit the crap you should never say "hmmm I guess I shouldn't eat this apple because it has too much sugar", you will be missing out on a lot of nutrients. Unless you are grossly obese this advice is bunk.