Posts by Quillsky

67

Christians, Is it okay for engaged couples to have sex before marriage?

by asilentone in

.

Quillsky

As a human, religious beliefs aside......... it is clear to me that it's essential for an engaged couple to have sex (great sex) before they legally sign a commitment to staying together for life.

I can understand how a man with erectile disfunction or sexual inadequacies could propose "pre-marital chastity" in order to persuade a woman into marriage with him. I can understand how a woman who doesn't feel like she's a sexual or sensual person or has a complete disinterest in sex could support "pre-marital chastity" in order to lure a man into marriage.

I feel sorry for these people, but at least they have the cover of "Christianity" under which to hide. I hope they all find each other, rather than trapping sexually healthy people into marrying them.

For all other healthy couples - completely explore your physical compatibility, and have fun doing it!!

(Stay safe and healthy, and talk openly about birth control. We're in the 21st century.)

29

JW teaching aside, do you belive in spanking children?

by highdose in

jw
friends

theres recently an article in a uk newspaper about a small boy whose family are at their wits end.

it seems he will just run amok, create chaos and danger.

hes been permently excluded from school because of hes terrible behaviour.

Quillsky

The opening post as well as the title of this thread (the use of the euphemism "spanking" is a way for supporters of domestic violence to try to make it sound nice or decent or harmless) reveal the agenda of the OP.

So it's not really possible to engage in reasonable debate.

Pro-"spankers" will come out of the woodwork (I'm waiting for the classic "I was beaten and I turned out okay" argument) while those of us who don't believe in beating children will just shut up in the face of mindless parents who cannot control their impulses.

73

what was the worst advice given to you while you were a JW ?

by wasblind in

mine's was, if your job interfere with the meetings you have to decide who you will choose,.

serving jehovah or serving man, if anyone knew my needs it most definitely was jehovah.

and he knew i needed my job to eat.

Quillsky

Spend three nights a week in "bible" study with "the friends".

(More like "Spend 40% of your free time in self-indoctrination.")

27

Birthdays and Jehovah

by I quit! in

jw
friends

my birthday is coming up next week.

ever since leaving the watchtower i aways do something on or round that day with my sister.

we usually go to lunch and do something like see a movie, play golf, or spend the day at the beach together.

Quillsky

Heartofaboy, awesome!

Hi Quillsky,

You have helped me decide.

However I have decided I am going!!

Come back here after the party and tell us how it made you feel to have fun choosing a gift for her, and at the same time helping someone else to have a special day with the people she chose.

Proud of you.

58

At the end of my rope :(

by tec in

jw
friends

but i guess this is my first big rant.. this last year has been the hardest year of my life.

my son tried to kill himself ( he did something pretty bad, got caught, and i guess that's the only way he thought to deal) i am also very close to actually hating my husband, and i do not hate people.

and every decision that i make lately seems to be the wrong one.

Quillsky

Tammy, well done on opening up. It's such a good first step to changing your situation, and I'm sure just typing out your feelings helped you to clarify your thoughts.

mkr said.....

Maybe you should get some counseling? We're just as professional as the elders are I mean anything we tell you is just amateur circle jerking...

I completely disagree that professional support is equivalent to this type of online group "counselling", which involves many intimate and personal stories and anecdotes, and much heartfelt support. This very different from detached professional advice, and a world away from religious advice.

You go girl - you're bright and loving and you'll go far if you stay in touch with your true feelings.

27

Birthdays and Jehovah

by I quit! in

jw
friends

my birthday is coming up next week.

ever since leaving the watchtower i aways do something on or round that day with my sister.

we usually go to lunch and do something like see a movie, play golf, or spend the day at the beach together.

Quillsky

I've never been to a birthday party before & I'm getting a bit uptight about what to do.

I would like to go but the JW indoctrination regarding birthdays is troubling me.

Hoab, are you uptight about what to do as a guest at a birthday party, or uptight as to whether to attend in the first place?

If you're not sure about how to be a good guest, start by thinking about a thoughtful but simple gift that shows you know something about your colleague's personality. It doesn't have to be complicated - a book about something she's interested in (write "Dear So-and-So.... A very happy birthday - hope the next year is wonderful!" in the front - perhaps you'll find writing that to be liberating!), flowers (99% of women appreciate flowers and about 75% of men do), a bottle of good wine, a quirky candle holder, or perhaps something that smells good like bath oil or perfume.....

We didn't have much experience at gift-giving if we were raised as JW's, did we? I was always told "JW's don't need Christmas and birthdays - we can give gifts anytime of the year." Ha ha sure, like that happened.

But if you're not sure about whether to attend the birthday party at all, please remember that your colleague has bothered to invite YOU above most others to enjoy the special occasion - forget about your feelings and think about making her day special..

Go, and enjoy! (And report back here.)

150

Is it unacceptable to stand up for Jehovah's Witnesses on a site called Jehovah's-Witness.net?

by THE GLADIATOR in

jw
friends

i fail to see why people such as alice in wonderland, bane and others, are regularly singled out as tolls.

demands are repeatedly made that they are shunned and thrown off the forum; while people like perry, who rant on with pages of controversial drivel, are considered acceptable?.

i personaly don't view any of them as trolls, just people who feel a need to stand up for what they believe.

Quillsky

It seems that there is an "us versus them" mindset in many posts on this thread.

I propose that rather than being in one of two camps..... "all apostates" versus "Jehovah's Witnesses and JW apologists", we all in fact exist on a continuum. There are many moderate posters who don't identify as apostate, but also don't buy into some or all of the doctrines.

I for one don't accept any instruction or call to band together with one camp or the other. (Even though I personally detest the JW religion and what it does to relationships.)

Someone who makes an idiotic post - especially one that calls people stupid, dense, retarded and so on - completely undermines their own credibility, and I pretty much blank out whatever point they are attempting to make, whether pro or against JW's.

Having said that, I have seen a trend that people on the apologist side of the continuum do seem to struggle with normal conversational/debate etiquette. That's my little pigeonhole system I guess - people who can discuss without resorting to playground taunts, and people who can't.

168

Jehovah correcting the organization

by sabastious in

read the account of moses taking the credit for the water provision miracle and that of king david's folly and his consequences.. ...read them.... ...you are still reading.... ...ok now you have that fresh in your mind.. jehovah had a correctional arrangement in place for all his spokesmen.

story of jonah would work great too.

the point being that in the bible god has always had this correctional arrangement for the leaders of his earthly organization.. that being said, where did that arrangement go?

Quillsky

I'm offering to buy her a goat, which will stimulate the economy and the whole world will be a better place.

Since when do Jehovah's Witnesses want the whole world to be a better place?

Oh yes, only over the dead bodies of more than 6.5 billion people.

98

My sucky situation

by brotherdan in

jw
friends

hi guys,.

sadly some of them had been in bethel for 5 - 10 years and were still cleaning toilets.. after about 2 years of it i couldn't do it anymore.

i always knew something wasn't quite right with this organization.

Quillsky

Cog, that's very fair and balanced advice. I think you're right actually - two people both being manipulative isn't a win-win situation.

98

My sucky situation

by brotherdan in

jw
friends

hi guys,.

sadly some of them had been in bethel for 5 - 10 years and were still cleaning toilets.. after about 2 years of it i couldn't do it anymore.

i always knew something wasn't quite right with this organization.

Quillsky

Funny story: One time my husband answered the phone at dinner time and then said, "No thank you," and hung up the phone in disgust. I asked if it was a telephone salesperson. He said "no, it was some neighbourhood church inviting him to their services." Then he said how annoying it was to interrupt people's dinner with that crap. I nodded sympathetically, and agreed, "yes, it is very annoying when people call or show up at your home uninvited to talk about their religion". My son burst out laughing, and my husband just said sarcastically, "very funny." JWs seem especially incapable of analyzing a situation outside of their own narrow frame of reference.

Okay, that's funny!

Welcome Dan.

I'm going to call a spade a spade here, with apologies in advance if it's hurtful to you.

I believe that you love your wife very much. However, if she has pulled out the divorce card so soon, then only one of two things can be true - and they overlap a bit. Either she doesn't love you as much as you believe, or she is a manipulative woman.

Disregard the fact that in Planet JW she is only allowed to divorce you if you have sex with someone else. You no longer play by their rules. I support previous advice to CALL HER BLUFF. Next time she mentions divorce, tell her how sad that makes you, but initiate a conversation about the details: the date on which she would like to start action, which lawyer she will be using, access to the children, and so on.

Once the divorce ball is in her court she may be shaken by the reality and practicalities and pure enormity of what she is proposing.

It may shock her into realizing that she doesn't want to lose you, or shake her out of using this manipulative threat. If it does neither, then previous advice to start consulting with multiple lawyers is excellent.