nugget

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Posts by nugget

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  45

  Resurrection talk at convention

  by innerpeace in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i didn't go to the convention but have family who did, all are going on about the resurrection talk, how there wasn't a dry eye in the arena.

  and apparently a video was shown too on it.

  we lost a family member some years back and they are on fb talking about the resurrection and new world coming soon.

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  nugget

  Visited my MIL this weekend (whole other story) she complained that as her son hadn't been able to make this visit that the next time he saw her would be at her funeral. I just said to her " but mum don't you believe you will live forever?" She never said another word about it she is 75 and perhaps like many elderly ones is struggling to believe that she will never die.
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  28

  need advice

  by search4truth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my spouse felt a need to tell to elders about me reading apostate websites and speaking against wt stuff , so they'll probably try to readjust my apostate thinking any time soon.

  my spuse never see me reading anything but, during our arguments i did't keep my mouth shut and she knows that i had to read it somwhere and it wasn't jw.org.

  could this get my in the trouble if my spose is the only witness and never spoke to another person about this stuff ?

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  nugget

  Before deciding what to do you need to decide what you want. Depending on your desired outcome then things play out differently.

  Sadly your wife's response is typical in confiding in the elders. She may have been forced into a corner and divulged more than she intended or she may be worried about your spirituality and sought assistance. However in either case you need to be cautious how much you confide in her in future. Use JW facts and the societies literature in any discussions and ask questions rather than present evidence. She is not ready to contemplate issues with her faith yet and pushing her too hard will create the possibility of her going back to the elders.

  If you want to continue to fade then depending on what you told your wife and what she has said then you can do damage limitation. It is natural to have doubts from time to time and you can thank the elders for their concern. You have just been a little overwhelmed by the adjustments that have happened in the last year and are having trouble keeping pace with Jehovah's chariot. You just need a little time to process the information from the organisation and have a rigorous schedule of prayer and personnal study to help you. If you have any questions you know where they are and will contact them. You are sorry if you worried your wife unnecessarily and are extremely grateful for their loving concern.

  Flattery and a show of compliance are your best friends in this instance.
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  17

  Birthday celebration/participation

  by Zana in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my wife is considering to let our kids participate, maybe even celebrate their own birthdays.

  she says what can be so bad about just giving a little kid (who doesn't yet understand the bible) a day full of joy and happiness?

  she herself actually delayed her own baptism as a teenager in order to celebrate one more birthday.

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  nugget

  Birthdays are a no no. I know that celebrating certain holidays is definitely a df'ing offence but not sure whether birthdays would be included in this. Certainly no JW would consider celebrating their own or another's birthday or send children to a birthday party.

  I personally think if you are withdrawing from the faith then allow your child to attend parties and lead a normal life. In later life he will thank you.
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  36

  Were you 100% in?

  by pontoon in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was baptized in 1968. last meeting 2010. i have to say i was never 100% in.

  there were times i absolutely believed, but i never really gave it my all.

  never liked service, assemblies, meetings.

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  nugget

  No for me family came first always they never owned me 100% although for a time I will admit being controlled by them.
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  27

  How did you teach your kids TTATT? How old were they?

  by KateWild in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  when i first started going on "other" jw websites my head was spinning so i didn't say anything to my kids about what i had read.

  steve hassan's material helped a lot it was when i read that, that i realised i need to free my kids.. i got a lot of advice from jwn too.. my daughter had moved cities and went to the hall we used to visit frequently.

  things changed when she became a member instead of just a visitor.

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  nugget

  My children were 9 and 7 I think. It was easier because we left together so it could be presented as a family decision. With them we told them that we were having doubts about some of the things we had been taught and had passed on to them. We told them that it was easy to make mistakes but what was important was acknowledging when we made mistakes and try to make things better.

  We told them that whilst we looked into things we would restore the family to the default setting (my son loves computers so got the analogy) and we would allow them to participate fully in all school activities and attend clubs that they thought they might enjoy. If we decided after research that we might need to make adjustments we would discuss it with them. The school was told what was happening and was advised that the children could fully participate the only criteria was that is the children felt uncomfortable participating in an activitiy that was previously prohibited then they shouldn't be forced.

  The children adjusted very quickly to the new way of life. We have always encouraged them to ask questions and taken any of their concerns seriously. They have met many ex JWs and have seen for themselves shunning and anguish caused by bad religion. This has been more powerful than any lecturing. Neither have any wish to go back to the faith and have nothing positive to say about the meetings they attended.

  Initially my daughter had concerns we would die at Armageddon but I asked her why she was concerned and got her to reason on where her belief came from and whether there was any evidence that anyone would be destroyed. What we found important is to allow time for them to ask questions.
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  51

  oh cr@p!! its my turn for "an elder called and wants to arrange a shepherding call" thread. Moral support please.

  by MissFit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is coming and the elder wanted to set up a visit.

  it's not like i wasn't warned.

  there was a thread that talked about the push to call on inactive ones.. thanks to the heads up here, i knew the motive for the call.. i don't think i even know that eld.

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  nugget

  If he calls then thank him for his concern but you do not wish to meet with him as you are busy. If this changes you have his number and will contact him. you are not permitted to receive personal calls at work and under no circumstances should he try to contact you on your work number. Thank you again for your call. Good bye

  Put the phone down, don't get into a conversation, keep it firm but friendly. You do not have to explain yourself, or comply. Focus on what you want to say and give him no way in. He doesn't know you he is a total stranger to you and therefore it would be inappropriate to meet with him.
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  22

  Ostracism more damaging than bullying

  by jgnat in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  new study out of the university of bc:.

  http://news.ubc.ca/2014/05/29/better-to-be-bullied-than-ignored-in-the-workplace-study/.

  we tend to underestimate the damage that social ostracism does.

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  nugget

  Isolating a person from friends and family is one of the cruelest things a person can do to someone else. The casual way theat elders use this power shows a complete disregard for the emotional well being of others. They know the consequences of disfellowshipping but never take it into account. They disfellowship people "to set an example" or because they think they have to take a tough line regardless of whether a person is repentant or not. They also are influenced by others and elders family members are less likely to get disfellowshiped so whilst being hard on people with no influence they are lax on others. There is no equality, fairness or god in the process.

  Personally I was able to move on with my life and make new friends without regret. It was the impact on family that was the most poisonous thing causing my older sister to behave in a way tht did her no credit. The long lasting damage cannot be underestimated. You have to be mentaly tough to work through it.
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  176

  JW refuses to provide wedding stationery to Gay couple

  by KateWild in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i was outraged at this and had to post it.. http://jehovahswitnessreport.com/blog/jw-refuses-to-provide-wedding-stationery-to-gay-couple.

  i think she is a hypocrite and i bet she sells her invites to fornicators, or does she ask them if they are having sex before marrige, before she takes their money?.

  i was never like this when i was a jw, it's even more disturbing that she is going to ask her elders what to do.

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  nugget

  She mades wedding invitations rather than cakes so she is making a very niche product. In the UK gay couples can now have a wedding rather than a civil partnership. She may have been confused since religious organisations are not obliged to carry out a wedding service for gay couples if they do not wish to, however this dispensation does not extend to commercial enterprises.

  If she provides invitations for heterosexual couples regardless of their religious preferences or living arrangements then she has no reason to refuse to provide invitations for homosexual couples. She is discriminating merely on the basis of sexual orientation .
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  176

  JW refuses to provide wedding stationery to Gay couple

  by KateWild in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i was outraged at this and had to post it.. http://jehovahswitnessreport.com/blog/jw-refuses-to-provide-wedding-stationery-to-gay-couple.

  i think she is a hypocrite and i bet she sells her invites to fornicators, or does she ask them if they are having sex before marrige, before she takes their money?.

  i was never like this when i was a jw, it's even more disturbing that she is going to ask her elders what to do.

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  nugget

  She obviously had no idea of the law against discrimination nor had any idea how offensive she was being to the couple concerned. She shouldn't need a group of men to tell her what is acceptable behaviour and what is not her own humanity should inform her actions.
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  15

  Are we here for each other ? To support each other ? through crisis ?

  by smiddy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a poster who joined this site some five years ago , luo bou to , and offered his two cents worth , so to speak , about his experinces , and spiralling downfall to his marriage and faith and how it had left him , posted a number of posts ?

  about his journey ?

  and gained a great deal of satisfaction and solidarity from this site.. use the search engine for his previous posts .

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  nugget

  sorry to hear about your health problems. Nice to see you posting despite everything.