Posts by Heartbreaker

8

An apostate Christmas carol

by parakeet in

sung to "rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer.".

rudolph, the red-faced elder.

had a very active nose.. he used to sniff out trouble,.

Frustrated with the JW in law sitch

by bluesapphire in

so my husband rarely talks to his sister and never talks to his mom.

his sister, brother in law and mom will have nothing to do with me because 10 years ago when i left the jws they heard rummors (gossip) that i was apostate.. husband is totally apostate too by their standards but they ignore what they don't want to see.

he celebrates all the holidays, goes to church, celebrates birthdays and bad mouths the wts all the time.. well sister in law calls this morning and he is on the phone with her for one hour.

Heartbreaker

Blue Sapphire, I totally understand where you are coming from. My brother in law has lableled me the Jezebel Whore, and is convinced that my husband should leave me and take our children because I'm evil. I am not exaggerating in the least. His brother will call, they'll talk, shoot the shit, and never bring me up. A while back there was something unsavory said about me, and my husband said I was not ever to be a topic of conversation, so I took that as a good reason I wasn't discussed....UNTIL.

I found out that everyone once in a while the brother will make a jab at me, and then he's warned that they don't discuss me, and things are tense and then it blows over. I, like you, am pissed that the brother gets his digs, and then my husband still talks to him. In my mind he's winning. I hate every minute of it.

We are newly faded, and my husband doesn't really take part in any holidays, but is totally physically out of the ORG. I feel bad about making it feel like he has to chose me over his sicko brother, but I feel worse when I sit by undefended.

Totally not helping here, just commiserating.

221

Why do Ex-JWs start celebrating pagan Christmas?

by DubR in

hiya guys and gals.

im not trying to be self-righteous but i want to understand the thought process of someone who knows the origins of christmas, but starts celebrating it (putting up christmas tree, exchanging wrapped gifts; repeating merry christmas to everyone they see in the month of december)??

it seems very silly to me (imo) after knowing how and why christmas was created (to cater to pagans sun worship and convert to christianity)!!

Heartbreaker

I figure if I told my children about Santa, for what, 7 years and then they found out, OOOOPS, it's really mom and dad!!! They are still way better off than I was for believing I'd have a pet Panda and my own Zebra before I had children myself.

So whats more harmful, lying about a vengeful Jehovah that will decide on a whim whether he loves you, or whether you've loved him and served him enough, and lying about a Paradise, a new system, or a lie of a jolly old man who loves making children happy bringing wrapped shiny presents? You tell me.

And for the record, my children do not think Santa is real, they know it's a Hallmark holiday, and it's all about getting stuff, we've never celebrated, and totally would this year if we could afford to, which we can't. We WILL celebrate next year though, and will have lights, and presents, and a tree, because we CAN, and because it doesn't mean anything pagan or religious to our family, children specifically, and we will not try to tell them Santa is real, but rather the spirit of the story IS real, and it's good. Love your life, love your family, love your friends, have fun.

16

"Life comes at you pretty fast.....

by oompa in

jw
friends

...if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

" -ferris bueller.

life has been coming at oompa really fast lately....super highs...worried middles....painful lows.

Heartbreaker

Nice Ferris reference, but seriously Ooomp, be careful out there, it's a big wide scary world. It can be fun, but it comes with a bite and a subsequent rash. I remember, I was out in it a single person a decade ago.

Have fun. Be safe. Update regularly ;)

3

Realization I had today

by xeracia in

jw
friends

today i attended my aunt's graduation.

she went through the adult education program and got her ged.

we were supposed to do this program together and due to family issues, i had to back out and could not finish.

Heartbreaker

Go! Do it! You will feel better, and it will be a chapter to close. Yah to your aunt! My mom and my sister did the same thing. They both married and had their first child by 16.....they went when my niece was 10, my sister 26 and my mom 42? Is that the math? Education is a good thing, no matter the level.

15

Feeling it today

by Heartbreaker in

jw
friends

i know there is talk on here about post traumatic stress and its affects, but i never imagined i'd feel like i was going through it.

now, not on a large scale i hope, but the last few days i've just really been feeling the hurt of losing my family, and those people i counted as friends in the congregations and assemblies that will not longer view me as acceptable to be around.

my teen daughters have friends, and a crowd to be around, and my husband has even made some contacts that he had before, and ones that he's met new that share hobbies and interests.

Heartbreaker

ok, I will respond individually, but I just wanted to say that I smiled, through tears, but still smiled to know I can count you faceless people (lol) as friends here. I will go to sleep with your kind words in my mind.

And of course it could also be the vanilla ice cream that I poured my share of Kahlua over, equal parts that and milk nog. *burp*

Nite lovely people.

15

Feeling it today

by Heartbreaker in

jw
friends

i know there is talk on here about post traumatic stress and its affects, but i never imagined i'd feel like i was going through it.

now, not on a large scale i hope, but the last few days i've just really been feeling the hurt of losing my family, and those people i counted as friends in the congregations and assemblies that will not longer view me as acceptable to be around.

my teen daughters have friends, and a crowd to be around, and my husband has even made some contacts that he had before, and ones that he's met new that share hobbies and interests.

Heartbreaker

Thank you CC for being so gentle with me, I really need it. Not always, just today for some reason. That's one of the hardest things, as I'm usualy the one with the stiff upper lip and no emotion. I'm just a real hot mess.

truthseeker - sorry to hear that you are in a similiar place, that is really tough. (((())))'s to you.

I will make one thing clear though, I WILL NOT go back, I will never go back again. I was DF'd and went back a decade ago, because of needing family, and I will not make that mistake again. They will take me as I am, or they can leave ME! I left no one. It's their sickness, not mine.

I'm just feeling lonely, like you said truthseeker. Lonely, yet surrounded by so many kids. Somehow that's worse, having to continue to care for people and tell people no you can't afford XYZ, and no, we won't be doing Xmas because we are broke, and to avoid the scary mail, and have to work at something new all at the same time. I just needed a pity party for a bit, and thanks for attending, there are cookies and Kahlua in the kitchen, or vodka and smoked salmon over crusty bread and a nice apricot reduction drizzle. Whatever.

15

Feeling it today

by Heartbreaker in

jw
friends

i know there is talk on here about post traumatic stress and its affects, but i never imagined i'd feel like i was going through it.

now, not on a large scale i hope, but the last few days i've just really been feeling the hurt of losing my family, and those people i counted as friends in the congregations and assemblies that will not longer view me as acceptable to be around.

my teen daughters have friends, and a crowd to be around, and my husband has even made some contacts that he had before, and ones that he's met new that share hobbies and interests.

Heartbreaker

and you are probably glad the rest of that got cut off. I know I am.

15

Feeling it today

by Heartbreaker in

jw
friends

i know there is talk on here about post traumatic stress and its affects, but i never imagined i'd feel like i was going through it.

now, not on a large scale i hope, but the last few days i've just really been feeling the hurt of losing my family, and those people i counted as friends in the congregations and assemblies that will not longer view me as acceptable to be around.

my teen daughters have friends, and a crowd to be around, and my husband has even made some contacts that he had before, and ones that he's met new that share hobbies and interests.

Heartbreaker

I know there is talk on here about post traumatic stress and its affects, but I never imagined I'd feel like I was going through it. Now, not on a large scale I hope, but the last few days I've just really been feeling the hurt of losing my family, and those people I counted as friends in the congregations and assemblies that will not longer view me as acceptable to be around. My teen daughters have friends, and a crowd to be around, and my husband has even made some contacts that he had before, and ones that he's met new that share hobbies and interests. My younger ones are just thrilled to be attending parties for birthdays, and class holidays etc.

Then there is me. I can't seem to get over this hump. I reveled in gathering new information and feeling right in my leaving the Org. and that hasn't changed, but my need to fill myself with words of others, and their lives experiences has lessened.

I recently had an oppurtunity to start a new business, and it is moving along quickly, but I'm just panicked. I can't put my finger on if I'm just drawing too many parallels to the Org with this job, or what, but I'm just deer in the headlight panicked by it all, and I can't stop just sobbing from my belly today. Just sobbing. It doesn't make sense!

My job is as a broker/agent for major life and health insurance companies. We insure all people, those that figure they are uninsurable, those that are self employed, those that have no coverage from the small companies they work for, or their companies insurance is too expensive, you name it.

BUT....I have to also drum up these leads and people, leaving pulltabs, and flyers, and handing out my cards and talking to strangers about it. I went up to a few business to see if I could leave a flyer, and it was like informal witnessing to me. I had a crunch in my gut over it. I hated the preaching work, absolutely hated it. I felt like if people wanted a religion, they'd find one, who were we to come in an try to change people, and with threats no less. I tried to disassociate the two in my mind, and move on. I was just being silly. Then there is the calling. Sure these people are filling out info that they WANT coverage, but I still have to call, and with a script just about, and try to set up a meeting with them, and damn if it doesn't feel like trying to start a bible study!!! Add into that I really have a hard time on the phone, making and taking calls is a sort of phobia for me, I could go the rest of my life and not talk on the phone and be just fine and dandy.

My husband left for a (free) hunting trip this weekend, and got snowed in where he is, and can't make it back today, and now I have the dilemma of keeping kids out of school so I can go to the mandatory work meeting, and I'm feeling poor woe is me thing, because I'm not having any fun, I don't have any friends, and everyone else is going and doing and living life, and here I am calling on people that may not want my message, trying to talk to them about something they may not want to change, or afford, and while the money is SO DAMN GOOD, I just don't know if I can do it. The constant pushing myself to sell sell sell, I feel like a regular pioneer of insurance world. My manager is pulling in 6 figures, and we are about to lose our house to foreclosure. My husband and I have been unemployed since the spring, and stand to lose everything materially, have lost everything spiritually, family, friends...it's just too much. And now they are all counting on me to pull it out of my ass and save em all. Don't get me wrong, my husband has small construction projects here and there, but the market is just not there for his line of work. He's trying too, I just feel the pressure. I spent the last 16 years raising our children, and was finally about to get a break, and now I feel like I'm the one who is going to break. I just can't handle the pressure right now, and I'm sad, and I'm scared. And you

28

New CO 70 yrs old, "youre not doing enough" school. Sigh

by monkeyman in

got our new co. old school guy, 70 yrs old.

mo is "youre all not doing enough".

sigh.. three yrs of this asshole..

Heartbreaker

Billy sometimes I want to take you by the face and lay a big wet one on ya. Did I share too much?