Posts by startingovernow

12

JW's Sick Reaction to Death in the Family

by OnTheWayOut in

my wife's best friend had this very lazy sister.

the sister in her early 40's has done .

little work during her entire life.

startingovernow

I'm wondering what surprises you about this. Have you ever seen someone actually being comforted over the loss of a loved one? I mean actually comforted, and supported? Not just, "you'll see them in the new system. I think of all the married people who have been supposedly comforted by being told this. When my husband's mother died and Witnesses were going through the line to give their "condolences", one after another kept asking him about the weather of the new city we had moved to. Nothing about his loss, nothing about the person she was. At one point someone kept asking question after question about where we had moved to that my husband finally told him the reason that he was there was because of his mom's death, and the brother (elder) didn't know what to say and so walked away. My husband's cousin (another elder) didn't say one word to him the whole time, no "I'm sorry for your loss", not even hello. There was no fall out between these two, and my husband was in good standing.

Even if these Witnesses rearranged there DC plans to be with the parents, of what comfort and help would they be?

12

The power of words.

by Anti-Christ in

jw
friends

all of us here know the power of words.

i think that today we use a lot of words that prevent our society from evolving.

our language is loaded with labels that prevents us from seeing certain realities.

startingovernow

You might like the book, "Nonviolent Communication"

17

Living with a J.W.

by speckles in

jw
friends

i am mature adult and have been living with a j.w.

for the past 3.5 years.

when we meet he was not practicing has not practice for some few years.

startingovernow

Yes, run.

I agree with other posts on what books might help you to take a stand for leaving despite the good years you've had together. It would be great if you could get him to read them to, since if he ever does get reinstated he will refuse to do so under the misconception that they are apostate books meant to draw him away from the "Truth" instead of what they really are; books that will help you make an informed decision as to whether what the WT says is the truth or not. If he is disrespecful of your religion now, it will only get worse. And then any other activities or behaviors that the WT says are inappropriate for true Christians you will be doing without his company but with his condemnation. He will be away at meetings and in field service, invited to gatherings where you might not be welcome or feel very comfortable at, that is unless you listen to the "good news" (keep in mind that anyone that is talking to you about God/Bible is counting their time, and their motivation might be more for how much time they can count with you than your well-being). I'm not sure what you mean by your being mature, but if your ever considering having children, he will be raising them to think like a Witness, and condemning any activity that he believes to be pagen, will not want your children to be involved in sports or other school activities.

Getting married in order to be re-instated is not a healthy reason to get married. Get out, Get out while you still can. Consider counseling for your broken heart if the thought of leaving him is so difficult.

11

Tuesday nights- freedom is great

by lrkr in

jw
friends

so i had a great tuesday evening- listened to live jazz sitting in a park by the (large water body near my house).

had a bit of pino grigio.

watched the kid play on the playground.

startingovernow

lrkr,

I'm new here so please excuse my ignorance. I'm wondering why someone who is still active and involved in sheparding JWs would be on a discussion board like this. Aren't you warned to stay off of sites like this?

No attacking please, I'm just trying to make sense of it.

24

Why I Hate the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society

by Darklighter in

"hate" is such a strong word for what i feel though.

my feelings could more accurately be surmised in the simple question of "why?".

regardless, my feelings are not warm.

startingovernow

"Yet, I cannot have children with this woman because I could not in good conscience raise those children as Jehovah's Witnesses"

I hear you. And yet even though I no longer consider myself a witness, the choice is still fraught with problems. Unlike you, I actually chose to be a Witness at 12 because I liked having boundaries/rules. It's a sad testament to how messed up my family was (no JW's) - I had no moral training, no answers to what happens when we die, who go to heaven, etc. So when the Witnesses offered to study with me I jumped at the chance to learn about the Bible. Now, after all that I've been through, well let me back up, when I was still active I wrestled with the decision about children because I figured if I was as lonely as I was in the congregation, how much more so could my children be? I made the choice with no help/encouragement from anyone to take a stand in school - I didn't do all the things Witnesses don't do even though I wasn't even allowed to talk to Witnesses for 4 years during that time. I had great godly fear. After I was able to associate with Witnesses I realized that most Witness kids don't take the kind of stand I was taking (I followed what the school brochure said) in school, man, most JW kids I know don't even to to school- spoiled, sheltered brats. So now that I know what I know and it has adversely affected my view of God, I have trouble deliberately raising children without the ability to answer questions as to spirituality and religion.

But, anyway, if your wife is a JW, doesn't she know that Witnesses are not encouraged to have children because we are so close to the end?

14

what to say?

by xig28 in

hello i just started a new profile here but i have been wandering around here for awhile.i have seen many stories somewhat similar to what i have right now.

i have read many post from people here and they have been somewhat helpful ,but now i need help with a little of my own problem.

for future refrences i apologize if my story isnt as descriptive as i want it to be but please read until the very end.. well for starters i am 16, yes i am young and have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy but idk if i can fully enjoy it but please just listen to my story.

startingovernow

Dude, you are 16. I think you should concentrate on your schooling and what you're going to do after that rather than worrying about a 15 year old girl. You're both too young for a serious commitment. And none of us should ever try to change another person. The minute you try to change her, the girl you know will change. You have much wisdom Sorry for the double post, trouble with copy/paste

14

what to say?

by xig28 in

hello i just started a new profile here but i have been wandering around here for awhile.i have seen many stories somewhat similar to what i have right now.

i have read many post from people here and they have been somewhat helpful ,but now i need help with a little of my own problem.

for future refrences i apologize if my story isnt as descriptive as i want it to be but please read until the very end.. well for starters i am 16, yes i am young and have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy but idk if i can fully enjoy it but please just listen to my story.

startingovernow

You have much wisdom

44

Anti-College/Pro-Pioneering Convention Interviews

by Rohag in

here's the text of interviews from the friday afternoon "young people - walk by holy spirit in the congregation" presentation at a 2008 jehovah's witness district convention.

this transcription approximately covers the second half of the presentation.

i've omitted names and locations to preserve individuals' privacy.

startingovernow

I think college is about more than getting a job anyway. It's not practical to expect one to learn all they need in life from high school and the Awake! magazines. And not all of us will be happy for the long run at having a "trade." When I look back at all the families/people in the congregations I knew with financial problems, trouble managing their weight, marital unhappiness, trouble with their kids, trouble communicating with others, misconceptions about medical issues, etc. I think that we could all benefit from a college course in accounting, nutrition, marriage and family, developmental psychology, communication, and human anatomy and physiology at the very least. I think I would add religion and philosophy/critical thinking to that list also.

44

Anti-College/Pro-Pioneering Convention Interviews

by Rohag in

here's the text of interviews from the friday afternoon "young people - walk by holy spirit in the congregation" presentation at a 2008 jehovah's witness district convention.

this transcription approximately covers the second half of the presentation.

i've omitted names and locations to preserve individuals' privacy.

startingovernow

Recycling experiences. There was an elder in a former congregation of mine that was interviewed as a great example because he used his job's shift change to pioneer. He worked nights and pioneered during the day. What a great example for the rest of us. Nothing was mentioned that he wasn't very awake out in service, didn't talk much to us, the car group, not very friendly. But, a great example nonetheless. Well, he made it through pioneer school and then stopped pioneering. The next year there he was again, up on the stage at an assembly being interviewed on how he put spiritual things first by taking advantage of his job change to pioneer, yet he was not pioneering. What's worse? - that the elder giving the interview couldn't find or didn't bother looking for someone else who was "putting the kingdom first by pioneering" or the brother giving the experience to pioneer in order to go through pioneer school but not for the long haul?

And how long ago did this sister find a trade school that was so wonderful? 39 years ago? Is such a guarentee of a part-time job that will sustain someone still available? And the young brother- what's going to happen if he ever gets married, has a family.. how active will he be able to be with what -- homeschool diploma, GED?

44

Anti-College/Pro-Pioneering Convention Interviews

by Rohag in

here's the text of interviews from the friday afternoon "young people - walk by holy spirit in the congregation" presentation at a 2008 jehovah's witness district convention.

this transcription approximately covers the second half of the presentation.

i've omitted names and locations to preserve individuals' privacy.

startingovernow

What I think is so sad is that the view of education changes depends a lot on where you live or who you listen to. When I lived in one area the C.O. gave a part on an assembly interviewing and commending those who had left college to pioneer. When he visited my congregation he encouraged young people to get an apprenticeship. That's what he did (and how long ago was that?) How many apprenticeships take high school students who have not taken trade type classes? He said that when people ask him if a 2 year school would be OK for their child he replies that he doesn't know what state their spirituality will be in after two years. Nothing on what their economic state will be ten years from then with no education. Shortly after this I moved to another state and at the cirucit assembly there was a young girl being interviewed telling us how she was pursuing an assoiciates degree at the community college while auxiliary pioneering. Why does this girl get to go and probably be able to sustain her pioneer service while others have to come off the list because of financial reasons due to not being educated enough to support themselves part-time?