Posts by HB

83

What really is a Soul Mate? --- Is it possible Yes or No?

by Hope4Others in

jw
friends

soul mate.

n. one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.

there seems to be a variety of defintions on the net so what does "soul mate" mean?.

HB

I really believe in the possibility of soul-mates both platonically and romantically.

My sister Christine is 50 and her partner Stuart is 30 and people constantly assume he must be her toy-boy, but those that know them understand that this is not the case and they are true soul-mates. They are like a mirror image of each other and they instinctively know what the other one is thinking and feeling and they are incomplete apart. They are both quite unconventional and both feel there is no-one else in the world with whom they could feel such a close bond and deep respect.

They had been good friends for many years but got together 6 years ago after my sister's previous relationship broke up. The general public could not understand a normal healthy 24 year old man wanting to be with a 44 year old woman and they had to battle against prejudice but in some ways this made them stronger.

After being blissfully happy together for a year, Chris agonised and soul-searched and in spite of Stuart's pleadings and protests, she broke away and went abroad to give him the opportunity to meet someone younger. She did it out of love for him, not because she didn't want to be with him, but later admitted that pressure from disapproving society had also played a part.

But Stuart was not interested in anyone else and spent the next three months begging her to return. Both of them were totally miserable apart and eventually, to the relief of all of us that are close to them, Chris realised that she should not be wasting time and fighting the inevitable and should accept this wonderful happiness and enjoy it. I don't believe in "fate" but am tempted to say they were destined to be together. They are closer than ever now.

Chris is still concerned that when she is 70, Stuart will only be 50, but he constantly assures her that he will always love her no matter what and she has accepted that now. Stuart points out that if he was in an accident and paralysed from the neck down or any other similar scenario, he knows that Chris would look after him, so she should accept his love and believe he will still love her when she is old. He tells her he loves her age lines and wrinkles as without them, she wouldn't be herself. I tell her she should not walk away from bliss because of an unknown future.

It is great being around them, their happiness, closeness and shared love seems to cast a light around them that reflects onto others and makes everyone else feel happy too. Sorry if it sounds like a sloppy romantic novel, but it's true and I think it helps to hear positive stories sometimes as there is so much sadness in the world.

Here is a picture of them taken in 2003 (sorry don't have a more up to date one).

alt

Just to finish, I am also happily married, (30 years this September - going to Paris to celebrate!) but my husband and I are not true soul-mates. We love and respect each other deeply but many of our interests are different and there are things about me he will never understand and vice versa. (I don't understand how he loves football, all the matches seem the same to me, and he can't understand why I am interested in philosophy and sociology, as he is perfectly happy without knowing about them!). But we do share a similar outlook on life and trust each other completely.

The nearest thing I have to a soul-mate is my sister, but I have to share her with Stuart!

11

JWs at the door

by HB in

yesterday, my 23 year old son mark was the only one in our house and was just drying off after a shower when the front doorbell rang.

he was expecting a friend to arrive, so he pulled on a pair of underpants and went to open the door and let his friend in, only to find two sweet-looking, demurely dressed middle aged jw ladies on the doorstep holding magazines.

mark was not particularly embarrassed, but the ladies were visibly taken aback by his appearance and were speechless for a couple of seconds.

HB

Thank you for your replies, very useful.

Bring the Light,

I didn't realise the door to door work was so organised, I thought they just drove around and decided on a whim where they felt like going that day! There's so much to learn.

Unfortunately I am sure the local JWs would not accept me for a study.

The reason I came to this site in the first place was that a 20 year old friend is currently studying with the Witnesses and I have been learning about the cult in order to try to show her the other side of the coin. Her bible study conductor has told her that I am an agent of Satan trying to tempt her away from the truth. Fortunately at present, my friend is ignoring this as she has known me for many years.

We live in a village in a relatively rural area and there is only one Kingdom Hall in the vicinity, so I am sure word would soon get around as to who I was if I rang and asked someone to call. My friend's study conductor does not know where I live at present, but she does know my name.

Pity as otherwise I would love the idea of being a secret agent!!

Bigmouth,

Thanks for the info, very useful. I used to work in a court office and was trained to keep calm and be polite to people whatever the circumstances, and my nature is placid, so I would discuss ideas with JWs in an even tone and be respectful and 'nice', Thanks for your advice though, interesting to see things from another perspective.

Black sheep,

Fantastic idea, yes I will use that if I get the chance to talk to them.

White Dove.

Yes sadist not masochist, it would be fun for me but not for the JWs I hope!

Heather

11

JWs at the door

by HB in

yesterday, my 23 year old son mark was the only one in our house and was just drying off after a shower when the front doorbell rang.

he was expecting a friend to arrive, so he pulled on a pair of underpants and went to open the door and let his friend in, only to find two sweet-looking, demurely dressed middle aged jw ladies on the doorstep holding magazines.

mark was not particularly embarrassed, but the ladies were visibly taken aback by his appearance and were speechless for a couple of seconds.

HB

Yesterday, my 23 year old son Mark was the only one in our house and was just drying off after a shower when the front doorbell rang. He was expecting a friend to arrive, so he pulled on a pair of underpants and went to open the door and let his friend in, only to find two sweet-looking, demurely dressed middle aged JW ladies on the doorstep holding magazines.

Mark was not particularly embarrassed, but the ladies were visibly taken aback by his appearance and were speechless for a couple of seconds. Mark assumed they were shocked by his wet, wild looking hair and 2 day's worth of stubble (he was just about to shave) but I wonder if they were just guiltily enjoying the sight of a good-looking fit young man wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts!

I was sorry I missed the ladies, as I have always enjoyed talking with JWs at the door but in the past, I have simply based my arguements on philosophical issues as I did not know anything about the WTS. However now I have learnt a few things from this site, I feel I could have a much more interesting discussion, and I would relish it.

I know that trying to get brainwashed people to understand reality is like eating custard with a fork, but unlike many of you here, I have no painful memories of being in the cult and have no distressing family pressures that hold me back from speaking, so why not, I have nothing to lose but time.

One occasion years ago I answered the door to JWs with my newborn 5 day old daughter in my arms, and after cooing over the baby for a few minutes and enquiring about my other two small children who were peering inquisitively at the callers, the couple asked if I was worried about bringing up children to be righteous in a sinful world. I looked at my beautiful innocent daughter and asked them if they believed babies were born sinful and they had to gulp before admitting in a mumble that they did. I just told them politely there was no point in us continuing this discussion and they hurriedly left.

Returning to Thursday, Mark knows a little about JWs as I have told him some of what I have been learning from this forum, but although like me, he enjoys a good debate, he didn't feel he was appropriately dressed to engage in a discussion at that moment, and anyway his friend was about to arrive, so he just said he was too busy and maybe another time.

I have never been a JW and would be grateful for advice on the following points:

1. Is it likely that the JW ladies would take Mark's off the cuff statement of "maybe another time" as literal and actually come back in the near future, or would they take it as a polite brush off? (Many English are often too polite; we use euphemisms instead of saying what we mean, so I thought these ladies might regularly be used to hearing "another time" at lots of doors and not take it literally).

2. If they do take it literally, would it be likely to be the same two ladies who come back, or do they give the addresses of potentially interested householders to their team leader who then decides who will do a return visit?

3. If there is to be a return visit, is it likely to be the same day of the week as the first visit (Thursday in this case)?

4. Do they have a set amount of time that they spend at each house or will they continue talking for as long as I seem 'interested'?

5. If I ask a question they cannot answer, would that probably make them leave?

6. Is it better to invite them in or keep them on the doorstep?

I realise if it's the same two ladies they might well be disappointed to have me to talk to and not my son (!), but although Mark probably will be in, (he is very busy running his own web-design business from home), he said if they return, he would probably leave it to me to talk but would listen in from another room.

The ladies left Mark with the March 08 Awake and the 1 April 08 Watchtower mags, which he threw straight in the recycling bin after they left, but I have pulled them out to read. Most of it made me squirm and clench my toes in revulsion, but in a couple of place I just laughed at the sheer comic ridiculousness of the statements.

I have dutifully used a highlighter on each page of the magazines (I have heard from all of you here that that's what JWs do before meetings), but I have highlighted things I think are wrong or don't make sense.

The first article in the Awake magazine is entitled "Is there one true religion?" It states that if you follow the moral laws of the bible, good consequences will be realised and if you don't, bad ones will happen. It claims this proves "the bible's moral laws hold true for all mankind". The next bit is the statement that really gets me: they say " IT LOGICALLY FOLLOWS" that as the bible's moral laws are true, it must therefore mean that the bible's teachings on worship, what happens when we die and hope for an everlasting future "are also truths".

My understanding of the meaning of logic is obviously very different to theirs.

It also makes me laugh how they bossily say: "So think: ....." before a statement, conditioning the reader to feel that if they don't agree, they simply haven't thought hard enough about the subject.

I guess you are all very familiar with the Watchtower and Awake writing style and the unbelievable content that has no relevance to most people's lives, but it's all new and morbidly fascinating to me.

If you have any further advice on how to talk effectively to JWs at the door-step, I would be grateful to hear it.

Heather

23

Horoscopes/star signs

by HB in

a friend who is an intelligent high-flying business woman is going through a relationship break-up and is also recovering from breast cancer.

she is not religious but has been turning to 'new-age' beliefs to try to help her cope, (she has visited a numerologist and had her palm read).

she has just sent me an email with a description of 12 different personalities based on star signs.

HB

I guess it's a cultural thing as in the UK we say star signs not sun signs.

This appears to be a subject on which there is not going to be a general concensus. I had assumed that the majority ex-JWs would be anti-astrology or at least indifferent, but am quite surprised that several are who are interested in it,

I have a paperback book written by a self proclaimed professional astrologer in which he describes the 12 personality types. I high-lighted the attributes for each sign that I felt applied to me in yellow and used red for the attributes I felt did not apply. It is difficult to be objective about oneself, but I tried to be honest. Each sign had about 15 to 22 traits listed.

I counted up and found that at least 40% of what was written for all 12 signs, applied to me, and in some cases it was more. Roughly 60% of the Gemini type was right for me, and about 71% of Sagittarius applied. My own Pisces was about 62% right, (13 out of the 21 statements).

But I know so many people who do believe there is something in it and say that they fit their sign perfectly. My neighbour was born a month prematurely and although she doesn't take astrology seriously, she often reads the star sign for the date she should have been born as well as her actual one.

I looked online for my daily horoscope predictions for today but any that were done by 'professionals' required joining or signing in which I didn't want to do, so I was left with the dregs which were all obviously guesswork, eg:

You are dealing with someone who is being very stubborn – and you can’t understand what the big deal is. You have tried to explain your point of view but they are digging their heals in. Try and uncover their objections.

A somewhat cranky midweek day for Pisces. You seem to be going through an unusually selfish phase, and your inability to share could cause real problems with siblings or mates. What's behind your insecurity? Why do you feel the need to keep "it" all for yourself? If you can solve the hidden issues, you'll soon be back to your own caring, sharing self.

None of these relate in any form to my feelings/experiences today. But as FunkyDerek said I suppose they could help someone somewhere.

My feeling is that if there was any scientific basis in astrology, clinical psychologists and job-recruitment agencies etc would be using it, and there would be university degree courses in the subject. It does worry me when we hear of politicians and world leaders who consult with astrologers and make important decisions accordingly.

(On a different subject, I have been an amatuer graphologist (handwriting analyst) for many years - there is a proven scientific basis for this skill and it is used by many HR departments, criminologists, psychiatrists and other professonals. Pity people can't use their handwriting to post on this board as I would be able to tell a lot about you all that is not revealed in the words themselves!)

23

Horoscopes/star signs

by HB in

a friend who is an intelligent high-flying business woman is going through a relationship break-up and is also recovering from breast cancer.

she is not religious but has been turning to 'new-age' beliefs to try to help her cope, (she has visited a numerologist and had her palm read).

she has just sent me an email with a description of 12 different personalities based on star signs.

HB

Hi Momz,

You sound a very nice person as a typical Pisces. I would be interested to know how you think it works that the Pisces personality fits you so closely? Do you think it's just coincidence or do you think your personality was determined by where the stars were positioned at the moment of your birth? If the latter, what was the mechanism that caused your personality to be influenced? I don't know anything about astrology.

I am also a Pisces (18th March) but although some of the description you posted could possibly apply to me, a lot doesn't. I am the least musical person in the world, have never taken a mood altering drug, I don't exercise to relieve emotional stress, (unless you count gardening as exercise). I have no interest in sports but if I did I would not do watersports as I am not a good swimmer. I am unfortunately not artistic and don't take part in music or drama, let alone excel at them. I have never had any trouble with my feet and white or purple are definitely not my best colours. I have no interest in dream interpretation. And so on.

When I read other star sign descriptions the same thing applies, some of it is me and some isn't.

Can you say that none of the other signs describe you at all? Just interested....

23

Horoscopes/star signs

by HB in

a friend who is an intelligent high-flying business woman is going through a relationship break-up and is also recovering from breast cancer.

she is not religious but has been turning to 'new-age' beliefs to try to help her cope, (she has visited a numerologist and had her palm read).

she has just sent me an email with a description of 12 different personalities based on star signs.

HB

A friend who is an intelligent high-flying business woman is going through a relationship break-up and is also recovering from breast cancer. She is not religious but has been turning to 'new-age' beliefs to try to help her cope, (she has visited a numerologist and had her palm read).

She has just sent me an email with a description of 12 different personalities based on star signs. She says her sign Libra describes her perfectly and she is convinced there is something in astrology although she admits she doesn't understand how it works. She has asked what my opinion is ...(I am a sceptic).

Before I reply I would be interested to hear the views of some of you as I am constantly impressed by how many profound thinkers there are on JWD and in spite of the fact that you all share a common background in the WTS, there is nevertheless a wide spectrum of beliefs represented here. Many of you are also very skilled at using words to debunk myths and explain ideas concisely and in easy to understand terms, so I admit I am rather hoping to steal a few sentences, as well as being keen to hear your ideas!

I would be intrigued to know if any of you do believe in horoscopes and if so why. If you don't believe, why do you think people do? And do any of you regularly read the horoscopes in magazines and newspapers even though you are convinced it's all rubbish?

31

Preparing for Armageddon

by Wordly Andre in

jw
friends

when i was a kid i can remember really being scared that armageddon was coming, you know the crap about it's almost here, and i would never live to see high school and all my classmates would be killed by jemima, i used to have nightmares when i was a kid over this.

i know of some family and friends who have since left the org, some have told me stories of how their family would prepare for armageddon, like keeping food and extra copies of watchterror and awacks, and have some kind of rehearsal for the end, some sounds like those old 1950's movietone shorts about preparing for the a bomb, did you or your family do anything weird to prepare for armageddon?

HB

It's not just JWs or other religious believers who are preparing for an apocalypse and have a suitcase packed.

According to a recent BBC article, there is a new breed of affluent and educated people who are stocking up and building bolt-holes with a view to surviving through impending doom, whether it be a natural disaster, a global pandemic, oil or food running out or general society meltdown.

This "cult of fear" is not a new phenomenon as such, but what is different is that the new breed of "survivalists" are afraid of everything, whereas previous generations focused on only one topic such as nuclear war.

See http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7379741.stm

I suppose JWs would at best laugh at these people?

I feel there is something deep in the human psyche completely unconnected to religious belief which pre-disposes many of us, from the writers of Revelations and over the ages down to the present day (and quite feasibly including our pre-historic ancestors too), to believe in the possibility or even the likelihood of an Armageddon-like scenario happening in our own time.

16

What ISSUES do Clinton and Obama stand for??? Sick of spin.

by hamsterbait in

"love her hate him".

"hate her love him".

both keep screaming how america is ready for change.. what kind of change?.

HB

I don't know a lot about US politics but the meaning behind the sign on this septic truck may be worth keeping in mind..........

alt

3

The Wrath of the Almighty

by HB in

a very bad "groan" joke....... there was a painter named wayne who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.. .

as it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local baptists decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of their large church building.. .

wayne put in a bid, and, because his price was reasonable, he got the job.

HB

A very bad "groan" joke......

There was a painter named Wayne who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local Baptists decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of their large Church building.

Wayne put in a bid, and, because his price was reasonable, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

Well, Wayne was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a tremendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down, washing the thinned paint from the church walls. A bolt of lightening missed Wayne by inches and knocked him clear off the scaffold to land on the grass among the gravestones, surrounded by tell-tale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Wayne was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh, God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke..
(you're going to love/hate this)

>

> > scroll down > > > "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

19

The state flag - upside down

by Jim_TX in

jw
friends

i am not that patriotic - but i like our state flag.

texas.

it has a blue vertical bar with a single star in it, and two horizontal bars - a white one (on top) and a red one (on bottom).

HB

In the UK, flying the Union Flag upside down is also viewed as a distress signal. In addition, as a child I was taught that if you fly the flag upside down when there is no cause for distress, it is a mark of disrespect to the Queen (and by association, the Country).

In my Guide Unit we teach the girls the tradition that they should not ever place the flag on the floor, even when cleaning. This tradition comes from the days when in battle, the flag was used as a rallying point and a signal. It was guarded fiercely and the flag bearer was escorted on each side so that if he was killed someone else could immediately grab it and hold it up. If the flag was on the ground, it meant things were going badly wrong so it signified retreat.

However I sometimes wish I had not taught the Guides another tradition .... when I was about 11 at my first camp, on the penultimate day at morning flag break we all stood solemly round the flagpole and sang the national anthem as usual while the flag was raised, but when the halyard was tugged to unfurl it at the top of the pole, a very large pair of pink flowery 'granny knickers' was flying in the breeze instead, much to the amused embarrassment of our wonderful leader! Each year at camp after that some other unexpected item appeared.

Now I am a leader myself, I guard my own underwear very closely at camp, and check what is attached to the pole before the daily flag-break. Three years ago I sussed out the pair of Union Jack boxer shorts lent to the girls by a Scout in the adjoining camp, and two years ago found the XXLarge bra belonging to another leader, but last year the girls managed to beat my security measures, and when the flag was unfurled, there was also a red thong attached, (not mine I hasten to add!)

It's only a bit of fun, and the girls are nevertheless very particular about getting the flag the right way up. Perhaps you could draw the attention of your indifferent officials to the need to do something by copying my Guides' example and throw something inappropriate up onto whatever the flag is attached to. If they have to remove it they will hopefully correct the flag at the same time!

Heather