Hi reniaa, welcome to the forum. You've been through a lot.
It seems the recurring theme here is that you've been disappointed by people. In my opinion, what people do should not make one leave the JWs, and what people do should not make one go back either. People are people, and there are good and bad both inside the JWs and outside. There should be more weighty reasons for leaving and more weighty reasons for going back, in my opinion (although there are probably a few exceptions to that 'rule').
If what people have done (or something else non-belief based) is the reason one leaves, I think it's easier to go back, because then one probably has a feeling it's the 'truth' in the back of one's head, and nothing to say otherwise.
You've been unlucky 'in the world', and/or made some bad choices (I'm not judging, just guessing). I think many of the same things could have been experienced inside the JWs, if you'd been comparably unlucky there.
-You had good friends, as did we all, and we've all lost them because we left. It's not easy to replace them with non-JWs - it takes time at least. But "strangers may now be friends you just haven't met yet" as they say, so you can afford to be choosy; there are a lot of people out there. If you don't drink much, try and find people who don't. If there's a hobby you like, try to find people with the same hobby or interests. Decide that you deserve better than what you've had so far, and ditch people who turn out to be bad for you (and do it as soon as you find out).
Atheism isn't necessarily for you, at least not at this point in life. Since I am an atheist, it may seem strange that I would say that, but I do agree with you that atheists can't replace a belief in the afterlife with another afterlife for instance, for obvious reasons.
With atheism, this life is what we get, and it's not a dress rehearsal (even Dr. Phil says that, heh). Atheists may seem cocksure of themselves, sometimes too much even for my tastes. But atheism is a strong conviction that a God does most likely not exist, so it's almost to be expected. They may seem arrogant when they 'attack' creationists, but often it is because the creationists hold 'scientific' concepts that have no backing in real, evidence based science. Atheism can't give you something that isn't there. Neither can religion, but at least it offers you the illusion. Perhaps that's more important sometimes (and I'm not being sarcastic here). And - as an atheist I have to concede that I do think this is the one life you get (no dress rehearsal), so how you choose to spend it and what you choose to believe in during it doesn't really concern me (unless you'd want creationism to be taught in science class or some such).
Will you be warmly welcomed if you go back? I bet you would. You'd be love bombed to death. And some of it would be sincere.
To me, intellectual honesty and integrity is important, so I couldn't go back knowing what I know. Not about the people, some of whom were my good friends, but about the teachings. But it is up to you. I'd rather advice you to find better friends and boyfriends, and either accept that this life is what we get, or find some kind of spiritual path that allows you to be intellectually free and at the same time gives you hope for the future. It's not my choice to make.
Good luck no matter what you choose to do.
