Thinking of becoming a Witness again and my reasons for doing so :(

by reniaa 383 Replies latest jw experiences

  • reniaa
    reniaa

    I've been a faded JW for 10 years I left because of my failed first marriage, I'm no hypocrite and realised I had left completely so I embraced the world and dived in, Only christmas and birthdays I could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if I suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.

    1/ All the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, I've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.

    2/ I got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, I got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later I am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and I was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.

    3/ Parents-in-law! I have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, I had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.

    4/ I miss the honest friendships of the truth, I had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after I left but I was determined to fade so moved away completely, but I find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( I've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.

    5/ My recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, I thought why not find out about it, Harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when I said to him how does he clear that with God, he replies "As long as I repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.

    6/ I recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, It wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their Religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in God, It's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it. They said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and I thought "well if this is reality I've had enough of it"

    So here I am feeling like the prodigal daughter and thinking being among warm-hearted if strict people who will accept me back and give me a sense of community again that I haven't seen in any other christian faith for all I've looked, has gotta be better than being shoved and shunned and used by people who have stopped caring for each other and only think of themselves.

    Your thoughts please?

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    But is it true?

  • jstalin
    jstalin
    I miss the honest friendships of the truth, I had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me

    Then why aren't they still your friends?

  • avishai
    avishai

    Sounds like "battered persons" syndrome to me. Just because you experienced abuse @ the hands of non-jw's does'nt mean that they are not abusive. As a matter of fact, they are. I'd HIGHLY suggest some counseling, and treatment for PTSD.

  • chikikie
    chikikie

    what reniaa says is the exact truth, i know cos im her biological sister. i dont think she should go back tho.

  • kwr
    kwr

    Hell is what we go through on this earth.

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    reniaa,

    If you meet people who are genuine they will care about you whether you are JW or not!

    And they wont insist you believe in their rules but can be yourself.

    I was the way I am long before I became a JW because it is inside of me and who I am! So if you met me that is what you would see! JWs appealed to my nature but their mind control and cliqueittiquette messed up my inner belief in my own convictions.

    It is all about the persons you meet and I agree that they are nor easy to meet up with.

    Finding souls you not only get along with but who have comitment is hard and gets harder as time slips away. The combination of both is essential to maintain solidarity and human love but is sadly lacking in forums people are able to meet in whether pubs clubs or online. Society has pushed human nature into situations it has to adapt rapidly within a few generations and many are just riding the wave whilst others get pulled under.

  • reniaa
    reniaa

    it is true, I wasn't battered but I have had a hard life, I've had counciling but it doesn't stop me having a need to find a group whose at least trying to be better persons.

    I am a newcomer to this site my sister only just pointed it out to me, probably because I am thinking of going back but however unhappy I am I want to explore all my options, Although I still am left with the question "what can the world offer me that is good now?"

  • DoomVoyager
    DoomVoyager

    It's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.

    Whether religious people are happier than athiests is no more to the point than whether drunks are happier than sober people.

    You must choose your own path. Accept reality, grim as it may be, or live in a delusional fantasy world.

    However, DON'T go back to the Corporation just because you are feeling down. Think about it. If they truly cared about you, they would be helping you with your problems right now. Not waiting for you to join their cult before they lift a finger. It's called "conditional love", and it's no reason to go running back to them.

    Keep reading & learning.

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    sounds like you have some "people issues" as well as JW issues. going back my work for you...but I'd look into some counseling before you make any concrete choices

    Hill

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