My dad was the tower of strength in everything. As a child, you felt safe and protected in his presence. He was the kind of man that could take the bull by the horns and get it done......except when it came to my mother. He turned to jelly. Anything to do with her health was traumatic for him. He would imagine the worst. He couldn't function, much less be her tower of strength. She was his life. There was none above her, not even Jehovah.
At her sickest points in life, it was difficult for him to even go to the hospital. So, I understand what you are saying. But, I don't understand this extreme obsessiveness. It's a good thing my mother had us kids to encourage her because my dad was useless during those times.