For me, personally, it was when my first daughter entered Kindergarten and was invited to a birthday party. We were still on the fence and told her no at first. Then the holidays came around - and there really wasn't any reason to prevent her from enjoying these childhood celebrations that we were deprived of. My husband and I talked about it for weeks and finally decided that we had no intention of returning to the KH and had no intention of raising our kids as JWs. I remember telling my husband, "I can't raise her with in a religion I don't believe in anymore". So after the first birthday party, we jumped in feet first and that was the end of it. Now, I am so sad that we don't have memories of our kid's first, second, etc. birthdays.
snickers
JoinedPosts by snickers
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49
Do you recall your "point of no return"?
by JH inwas there something special that happened, an event or maybe a deception, that triggered your point of no return as a jw.. .
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24
Why worry if there is no hell???
by lost&found inanyone ever wonder why ...if there is no hell and we are not going to burn etc etc because god is a loving god......why do we bother because w'all going to die and we are not going to be observing the righteous jw's enjoying through a glass window while we are suffering on the other side......just wondering?
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snickers
What are the qualifying factors that would send one to hell in the first place? Is hell reserved for the child molesters and murderers or for every-day lying/cheating? Adultery? Being a shitty parent? Having a general lack of morals?
Then I wonder, is there a certain amount of goodness that one can practice after being a full-blown sinner in order to prevent hell?
For me, it's easier to believe that hell doesn't exist.
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5
Any advice on how to find somebody in France?
by snickers inhere is the thing i am most ashamed of in my life (so far) - i turned my back on my best friend because she left the "truth".
my dearest friend in the whole world disassociated herself in the early 1990s.
her name is betty dormieux and she is from france.
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snickers
THANK YOU!
I've searched the online International Directories for the past few months, but obviously didn't find this one. I mainly searched the websites that had pages translated to English - so maybe that was the problem.
Update: I called her brother and spoke with his lovely wife. My friend is on vacation now, but she gave me Betty's email address (the last time I spoke with her she still didn't have a computer). So I've fired off my first email and am anxiously waiting a reply.
Thanks again for everyone's help and ideas. Funky - I'm very grateful for your help!
- R
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5
Any advice on how to find somebody in France?
by snickers inhere is the thing i am most ashamed of in my life (so far) - i turned my back on my best friend because she left the "truth".
my dearest friend in the whole world disassociated herself in the early 1990s.
her name is betty dormieux and she is from france.
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snickers
Here is the thing I am most ashamed of in my life (so far) - I turned my back on my best friend because she left the "truth". My dearest friend in the whole world disassociated herself in the early 1990s. Her name is Betty Dormieux and she is from France. We actually met at a convention in the 1980s in New York and were pen pals through our teenage years. I lived with her and her JW family after graduating from high school, then she got a nanny job and moved to the US for a few years. Then she returned to France and called me up and said wrote a DA letter. It was a real shock at that time, because although we were NO angels - we never discussed NOT being JWs. On top of that, I was newly married and making a weak effort to be the good wife and follow my husband's lead etc. So I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore.
After about 5 years I got a letter from her. My husband and I were faders at this point and I was desperate to talk to her. We wrote on and off for a few years. I haven't heard from her in almost 2 years now - and I can't find her! When I spent time with her in France she and her family owned a pizzaria in Dunkerque. They sold the pizzaria about 15 years ago and moved to South France - I don't know where. Betty lived for some time in St Martine, then moved back to France and the last known address I had for her was in Marseille. Her parent's names are Nicole and Francios and her 2 brothers are Jeramie and Hans.
My letters to her last known address were returned - no longer at this address (took months!). In the international phone directory there are 26 people with the last name Dormieux - I've written them all asking for any information about Betty and have not received a reply. The problem with the whole phone thing is that she had a cell phone, but not a home phone (at least 2 years ago) - and it's not possible to search for cell phone numbers.
Maybe somebody from France knows of her. Or maybe somebody knows of a way to search for her. She is my soul mate - I miss her dearly! Thanks for reading. - R
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28
If You've Faded, Do You Still Consider Yourself a Dub?
by brunnhilde ini've been thinking about this a lot, because i've chosen to fade and i would never refer to myself as a jdub, but i've read postings from others who do.
i would have written a letter a year ago but i've got older parents who are upset enough about me just not attending.
on another thread someone is also leaving and they were advised to tell the jc to do whatever, to not acknowledge that they have any authority.
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snickers
If it comes up in a conversation, I say "I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witness, but I'm no longer a JW" and that usually explains enough. But I would identify with being agnostic more than claiming to be Christian or another faith. The sad thing is that this lack of religious identity is really hard on kids. For their sake, I tell them that they don't have to say anything at all - but it's also okay to say they're Christian if asked.
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Do you feel as if you have to justify why you aren't JW anymore?
by JH inare we playing there game, by having to justify ourselves, why we don't go to meetings anymore, or why we left the org?.
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snickers
I have, unfortunately, found myself justifying our status to my kids... and that's hard. Without totally bashing the JW teachings (which I wouldn't do out of respect for my family who are all jws AND because we're trying to teach our kids to be open-minded and accepting of everyone) - it has been necessary to explain to the kids why we're choosing a different way to live. My girls don't understand all of the false teachings and double-standards, they never learned them in the first place! (thank god!) But they do see that our lives are different from their cousin's and Grandparent's - and I find my explanations differ with each telling, depending when they're asking about it. In my own head, though, there's no justifying necessary - we're finally free!!
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54
Why Is Everything Always Wrong To A Jehovah's Witness???
by minimus innothing is ok. everything is problematic..... what if you stumble someone???--------.
let's say you want to invite someone over, you gotta worry about someone thinking your favoring this one over another.
you might be accused of having "cliques".
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snickers
My brother-in-law has a roof cleaning business and has always turned down work for any church related building. Today he turned down a contract to clean homes on the military base. How can a business person afford to turn down work???
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I live near ft. lewis
by JWdaughter inand we are not far from a firing range, but normally, i don't hear the guns, just the bombs that go off (some of the percussion has knocked the top of a hutch off the bottom of the hutch!).
right now i am hearing what sounds like machine gun fire, and i am really hoping it is military training, cause otherwises, i will be afraid to go outside tomorrow!
ten years though, and never heard that before.
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snickers
When I was a girl we lived right around the corner from where Ft Lewis did their practicing - we'd wake up to bombs going off every week. Especially on the weekends when the Reserves would be drilling. I don't ever remember hearing gunfire, though. That would be scary!
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How to deal with Mom "serving where the need is great"?
by snickers infirst of all, i've been reading this forum for many months and have found it such a nice place!
a little history - my husband and i were both raised as jws, and both left about 11 years ago.
we were initially inactive for quite a few years, but we still believed all the bs.
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snickers
Thanks for the replies.
Madame - You're right, in a way it is a blessing that she is far away. I've felt more freedom in my own house in the past month than the entire time we've lived here! She used to live on my same street and was constantly dropping in unannounced.
W. Once - you give wise advice. I do need to let her live her own life. It's just hard that she doesn't communicate on a personal level.
It is much cheaper for her to live down there. There's just a lot of hypocrisy about her move in general. She did not go down there on a missionaries visa like last time - my sisters and I know that she moved for the purpose of a cheap retirement lifestyle. But she gave the impression to everyone at home that she was feeling the spirit and moved to be a missionary. In truth, she was privately reproved almost 2 years ago and I doubt the WTBS would sponsor her with the missionary visa.
There's never even been a chance that my kids would visit. My oldest daughter is finally getting excited about her upcoming birthday - it's taken a lot to get her comfortable with holidays in general. I've never prohibited my kids from going to meetings, but I would also never put them in the position to have to live the JW lifestyle for an extended period of time.
Thanks again for the help. - R
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34
Remember the song Make The Truth Your Own?
by pierogi inwhat is the wtbts exactly saying here because they don't let you make the truth your own?
besides nicknaming the religion "the truth", this is just another example of how the wtbts brainwash jws to think that the truth and the watchtower are the same thing.
i think this might be why jws, before hearing anything negative about the watchtower, already decide that it is false or they defend it.
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snickers
Thanks a lot - I read this post earlier today and have had that stupid song stuck in my head all day...
Wasn't the We're JW song #113? I remember on the way to the convention cars would have a sign taped to their back window that just said "Song #113" (if that is the right #).
- R