NVR2L8,
Good description of how your heart can teach you what is true if you let it "talk" to your brain.
Something like this worked on my brain when some of my children just could not believe--really believe---that God was there or( if he was) they just could not find any way to honestly relate to him--even with Jesus leading the way.
They studied and lived without hypocrisy--our dialogues were as open as could be.
One girl broke down and I got a counseler to come to the home for her. She was suicidal--having been baptised: her crisis of faith, she knew it well, would cost her mother.
to know your beloved 16 year-old daughter had stopped on her way home from school, talked to the neighbor about an inability to believe in her religion's god anymore and then curl up on her couch and sob "I going to lose my mother, I'm going to lose my mother." --Until the woman called me and I went to her.
(She didn't lose me--but if we had not moved out of state soon after this event, I don't know what would have happened. I was, after all one of JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES. The elders were NOT sympathetic, NOT happy that I got her a counselor ASAP . But that is another story.)
It really was painful to watch a child grow--and sometimes get baptised or sometimes resist it because they had so much respect for the idea of god that they didn't "play" with it. It was so emotionally rending that I did FINALLY let my brain talk to my heart---
I had to ask myself--would god really destroy a person because in all the integrity of their heart they wouldn't pretend or fake anything. They trying to mask bad behavior. They were people that the WT taught me would die at Armageddon.
It wasn't just that these were my kids that I couldn't believe they could die at the hands of the God-of-Love. No--it was that I had seen them struggle with faith with honesty as genuine as I had ever had. I had struggled too--and I had come up with the "blessing". How was it that could happen?
It took time. It did take time. But finally, all the things about WT doctrine and Love came into sharper contrast, polarized and began to break me down--and open me up.
Yep, it came in sideways and opened me up.
I hope the same happens to your wife as has happened to you.
I know it happened to me.
Maeve
Added later: As for the theology of it--Here is the seguey to release from the fear of God: If god operates as the WT says he does, then I definitely don't want to live for ever in his world, their world. And having gone that far I went further yet......