Posts by J-ex-W

18

Nosferatu's School of Dating (NSD) - Preface

by Nosferatu in

i've recieved some feedback about doing dating tips here on jwd, and so i've decided to go ahead with it.. a lot of what i will be posting may appear to be a bit sexist, and it defeats a lot of what feminism stands for, but what i post is what i find works.

i'm not going to post a bunch of re-hashed garbage that society thinks should be the standards for dating, because most of it doesn't get results.

all of what i post is going to be from personal experience.

J-ex-W

Nos---- That 'trophy' comment...applies, again, to both male and female. A pretty guy can get carte blanche for bad behavior as much as a pretty female can. SO PAY ATTENTION TO THE PERSON, NOT THE LOOKS. That should be dating tip #1 no matter who's writing and no matter who's the target audience.

Some of my best dating experiences (particularly post-JW) have gotten off the ground while purposely ignoring the looks thing. --Not so much that my tastes would roam into the obvious ICK!-factor, but certainly allowing a sliding scale that I wouldn't have really entertained before. My brother even says the funnest date he ever went on was with a girl he found a little homely at first. Looks can improve dramatically when personality wins a soft-spot in the heart.

18

Nosferatu's School of Dating (NSD) - Preface

by Nosferatu in

i've recieved some feedback about doing dating tips here on jwd, and so i've decided to go ahead with it.. a lot of what i will be posting may appear to be a bit sexist, and it defeats a lot of what feminism stands for, but what i post is what i find works.

i'm not going to post a bunch of re-hashed garbage that society thinks should be the standards for dating, because most of it doesn't get results.

all of what i post is going to be from personal experience.

J-ex-W

Nos--- I was teasing about the 'expertism' stuff, making up my own terminology to sound high-falutin' and learn-ed. Teasing you for your vocab lesson at the beginning. All in good fun!

About the 'natural beauty' stuff----so much of that is subjective, anyway. One guy might look at a woman's face and notice bone structure while happily ignoring zits. Another guy might gag at even a few zits but really prize thick, wavy hair. Another guy might figure it all goes to pot in the end, anyway, so might as well get to know the person first and foremost. The happiest marriages/ couples I've known have in no way, shape, or form been bonded based on looks. Sounds terrible to say, but the best couplings I've seen are actually between homely individuals--with hearts of gold. Which is the best of all that we can hope to become in the end, anyway!

For pete's sake, grooming counts---but what 'look' one individual finds appealing can vary so widely from the next. That's why I recommend going light on the emphasis on grooming. Cleanliness and a good smell. And a happy, approachable demeanor. That's yer dating lesson. [applies to both male and female]

19

Most controversial?

by joe_black in

jw
friends

i know that most of what the wbts says and does is viewed by many of us as hogwash, but what do you think was the most controversial thing that happened or was said by the watchtower in 2006?...............i mean something so obviously off the wall or sinister that it would make even the most hardcore jw pause and say, "hey, what the f*ck?!!

"

J-ex-W

To me the most off the wall is what a visiting CO said this Sept.: "You won't see JW's going off to a four-year college...No, sir. They prefer to put their time toward kingdom interests." With a heavy accent of disdain for pursuit of higher learning. I had heard it hinted at, unofficially, before, but never spoken so brazenly as it was this particular time. It made my skin crawl.

26

How are you ringing in 2007?

by frozen one in

jw
friends

i'll rephrase that so not to appear so us-centric.

how are you or how did you ring in 2007?.

the last few years have been very low key.

J-ex-W

Sent out group text msgs. to my friends (cell phone, in case some might not know) that said: "from ----: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! First official new year greeting since jumping off Jehovah's Witnesses--now There's cause for celebration!! ;^) " My worldly friends agreed and responded in kind. [I'm out of state visiting relatives, so my local buddies and I can only only text our sentiments to each other.]

9

recognized my first ex-JW online!!

by J-ex-W in

jw
friends

guess what--!

i clicked the phrase 'jehovahs witness' at the top of the jwd page, right next to 'ads by google,' and found a bunch of ex-jw meet-up groups.

one of them, locally, that i checked into had the name and face of a df'd-then-ri'd-then-df'd-again son of a jw friend of mine.

J-ex-W

Guess what--! I clicked the phrase 'Jehovahs Witness' at the top of the JWD page, right next to 'Ads by Google,' and found a bunch of ex-JW meet-up groups. One of them, locally, that I checked into had the name and face of a DF'd-then-RI'd-then-DF'd-again son of a JW friend of mine. If I had the nerve, I'd like to ask him how his mom, my former friend, is doing. [I've long since moved and lost touch, even while still active.] Can't risk the exposure, though. Still--it was neat to see someone I personally know right out there and right up front about it! You go, M.H.!!!

138

What do women REALLY want?

by Abandoned in

ok, i've heard it all: sincerity, honesty, security, money, love, romance, flowers, poems, promises, and more.

but, in my arguably limited experience, i've been shot down while doing all of these (at differnt times obviously).

so, what do women really want?

J-ex-W

Abandoned--- I have one amendment to the list you made: The one about 'promises.' I would change that to 'KEEPS his promises.' That is SOOOO important, dependability. If you're a guy with no follow-through, this woman won't follow you.

He also needs to lead like a goose in V-formation. That is, take leadership (front man) position for a while and in given situations--but also recognize when he needs to hang back and let another goose take the lead spot for a while. [Not afraid to let the woman shine where shining is her natural way and not afraid to let himself shine in his unique ways.] True headship is not a competition for top-spot--it's a tag team sport, a never-ending, well-timed and well-choreagraphed trade-up of shared responsibilities. A man who understands equality...this is what THIS woman wants.

18

Nosferatu's School of Dating (NSD) - Preface

by Nosferatu in

i've recieved some feedback about doing dating tips here on jwd, and so i've decided to go ahead with it.. a lot of what i will be posting may appear to be a bit sexist, and it defeats a lot of what feminism stands for, but what i post is what i find works.

i'm not going to post a bunch of re-hashed garbage that society thinks should be the standards for dating, because most of it doesn't get results.

all of what i post is going to be from personal experience.

J-ex-W

Also, Nos---- You seem very well acquainted with one the cardinal rules of expertism: Create a specific new vocabulary for your subjects to wrap their brains around. It makes the special knowledge withheld and imparted seem that much more UNIQUE, STUDIED, and TRUE. Good use of specific leaderism.

*expertism-- Creative expression and impression of expert qualities, whether real or faked (usually faked)

*leaderism-- Creative expression and impression of leadership qualities, whether real or faked (usually faked)

18

Nosferatu's School of Dating (NSD) - Preface

by Nosferatu in

i've recieved some feedback about doing dating tips here on jwd, and so i've decided to go ahead with it.. a lot of what i will be posting may appear to be a bit sexist, and it defeats a lot of what feminism stands for, but what i post is what i find works.

i'm not going to post a bunch of re-hashed garbage that society thinks should be the standards for dating, because most of it doesn't get results.

all of what i post is going to be from personal experience.

J-ex-W

Ya know, Nos--- Your statement emphasizing that women need to LOOK their BEST to attract a man...I find that to be unequivocally untrue. It has never ceased to amaze me how many times when I THOUGHT I looked like crap--from lack of particular effort, or just going with a low ponytail and glasses (my 'lesbian' look, as my ex-husband calls it--I'm not a lesbian, BTW)--that guys were still paying unsolicited attention to me. It's like some guys just want a no-muss-no-fuss type, other guys want the all-dolled-up type, and other guys want some shades in between. I happen to hit all three, depending on the day and on my mood. Attention happens regardless.

STRESS LESS OVER THE LOOKS, LADIES!!! Guys like a real girl. At least, the guys I would be interested in do.

24

Should I start posting dating tips?

by Nosferatu in

many of us came out of the jws with very little dating experience under our belts (married or not), and a lot of us were very lost when it came to the opposite sex.

the wts didn't help us learn how to pick a woman, how to court her, or even how to have sex with her.

there's a lot of horror stories about first jw sexual encounters, and a lot of horror stories about dating after leaving the org.. i made it a goal to catch up on my dating experience after i deprogrammed myself, and i learned a lot about the competitive and tricky dating world.

J-ex-W

What exactly does this mean, that 'you made it a goal to be the best man-whore you possibly could?' First, what is a man-whore? Second, how is this possibly a postive thing? Third, why would said man-whore be the one qualified to tell regular men what works on women and what doesn't? All he is qualified to tell is what makes a man-whore...not what makes a woman genuinely--and lastingly--swoon.

Are you all about aiming for the sack, or aiming for the sancitity of marriage? Different sets of advice to be formed and followed, for sure!

21

visiting 'apostate sites' - spying - can it be done?

by unhappy in

jw
friends

please advise me - can i be spied upon.. i share broadband access with another computer in my home.

the other computer is the main access wireless provider for broadband.

can the other computer be set up in such a way that the apostate sites i visit are noted by the computer user.. hope i'm just being paranoid.. thanks.

J-ex-W

I just asked my brother in law. He said someone would have to actively (manually) go into your computer, and within Internet Explorer go to Tools then Options then find Temporary Internet Files. That's what tells the History of sites you've looked at. If you go through and delete your own cookies and your own History, then you have nothing to worry about.

But if you delete ALL the cookies, then passwords you have already set up for certain websites will have to be re-setup each time you log on, so it's up to you how much risk you are likely facing by leaving cookies behind. My guess is, just erase your HISTORY and let spy-sweeper handle the Cookies. Unless you have die-hard computer geeks/ investigators in the house, this should be good enough.

And I know what you mean about the paranoia! It's good to hear that others deal with these irrational, scary fears when leaving (or just questioning) the BORG. It helps to know that's NOT you going insane--that it's a sane response to an insane situation!