dear friends,.
i guess you could call me an orphan.
i have been on my own for some time now and have become the next generation.
from my dad: Sense of humor and love of words
from my mom: A keen eye for the interests of others--and a keen appreciation of good food!
from the two of them collectively: A sense that differences and being complements of one another add both the spice and the smoothing oil to the recipe pot. Let it sit a while...giving it all time to blend really lets the flavors come through!
just wondering on how it is possible to get a scriptual divorce as my dad needs to get one but as much research done i can't see how he can get one but he says he has spoken to some elders and that they have said it can be granted but on what grounds?.
i know if you have committed adultery and extreme cases disertion but other that these is there any way else.. you see my mum basically up and left my dad and they have reconciled once but now its definately over and have a legal divorce, so would disertion come under this catorgory?
also my mum has battled mental illness(mainly major depression) for as long as i can remember can he do it on the grounds of mental capacity?.
Your dad can DIVORCE on whatever grounds the laws of his land allows him. JW permission to REMARRY, however---to pursue another mate---is where his hands are tied, unless or until adultery is committed by his ex-spouse. If there was no adultery during the marriage, then to remain in good standing AND be available to remarry, your dad would have to wait for her to commit 'adultery' after the marriage.
He will be forced to wait until it becomes publicly known that his now ex-wife has had sex with a new man. If she starts living with another man, or stays overnight unchaperoned, or marries another man, then sexual relationship is implied, and your father is free to pursue a new relationship at that point-----and no sooner. That lacivious action by the ex-wife, POST-divorce, establishes her as the adulterousbad-guy and leaves your dad smelling like a rose and swarming with single-sisters' sympathies.
[It wouldn't matter at this point what kind of husband he had been during the marriage and what kind of hell he might have put his ex-wife through that prompted her to leave the failing marriage in the first place. All that matters is that he did not break this one cardinal rule--she did.]
--That was not a statement about your dad, BTW. I don't know him. It was about the unjust and small-minded stipulations the JW's put on happiness.
after a lenthy illness, 10 years in total, my mother, margaret stecko, passed away peacefully today surrounded by family.
she was 84, and leaves behind 3 children, 5 grandchildren, and 8 great grandchildren.
she was a jw but never shunned me.
My condolences...what a wonderful tribute you've made to remember your mother! She would be pleased and proud.
okay--i think i've got it this time.
i want to start this thread, but my relevant postings are already under child sex abuse "cary verse arrested again" and under friends "sex abuse of wives" as well as scandals and cover-ups "psychopath murderer"-something.
please, if you are interested, read those postings then continue the thread by replying here (under scandals and cover-ups).
Yes, sex abuse of a wife does include forcing sex acts on her after she has said no, for whatever reason. The sad thing is, people actually do assume that agreeing to sex again EVER nullifies the forced incident(s). Yet, that typifies the very cyclic nature of an abusive relationship. Laws/ attitudes like that need to change! They seriously interfere with an abused wife's ability to clearly identify, and extricate herself from, her abusive situation. And people wonder why abused wives don't seek help to leave. They DO...only to be faced with these maddening obstacles to aid/ justice!
so ... who lives in pittsburgh and is willing to go dig up some archives.
i would love to see original scans of newspaper articles about his divorce.
here is one from 3 years after the divorce.
WOW!! Thank you for sharing this newsclipping. Where/ how did you find it? I have always wondered about the circumstances surrounding Russell's split with his wife. My ex-husband [my physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ABUSING ex-husband, i.e.!] has even dared to compare my leaving him with the WTS-revered Russell having been abandoned by his wife and living separated for the rest of their years. --My leaving [and his 'staying'], of course, being proof of my bad heart condition and his good heart condition. Ugh!!! I have always wondered if anything could be found out about the man himself.
just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.
does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.
at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.
lost----- I can so totally relate to everything you have said here. The only thing my ex- didn't do was cheat on me, and you would think the things he did do would be enough to warrant a 'scriptural' release from the nightmare marriage, but.... Like your situation, my ex-husband's family doesn't/ wouldn't believe the stuff he has put me through, anyway, so no justice or [justified!] support there. The only thing I can do is to remind myself [for the times when I think I do still believe in him] that Jehovah knows what has gone on. Justice may not be now, but it will come eventually; it has to. I have to believe that, or the resentment and sorrowful feelings can threaten to swallow me up.
It's okay that you feel a little religiously afloat right now. Jehovah understands human nature and how he made us; he understands wounds and how we need time to heal and regain our bearings. It's imperfect humans who don't want to give us that healing time and leeway. Give yourself as much time and permission as you need to sort out your thoughts, feelings, and priorities throughout this understandably confusing time. You deserve it, and are absolutely entitled. Much love to you!
okay--i think i've got it this time.
i want to start this thread, but my relevant postings are already under child sex abuse "cary verse arrested again" and under friends "sex abuse of wives" as well as scandals and cover-ups "psychopath murderer"-something.
please, if you are interested, read those postings then continue the thread by replying here (under scandals and cover-ups).
Karnage--- I'm really sorry to hear about the abuse your mom and you kids endured. It never ceases to amaze me to how big of blinders the brothers put on when it comes to wife abuse...and how they're ready to snap into action when it's sex outside of marriage (consensual sex, i.e. --From what I've heard, date rape gets a blind eye, too). So sad.
i just emailed the dr. phil show with significant aspects of my story--not just the jw stuff but with being a large part of the complicated picture and said i would be willing to air my issues on their show.
the hidden horrors of marital sex abuse and of sleep-rape, specifically, must be exposed to the general public.
too many believe that it's not even possible to rape a sleeping woman...and they are soooo wrong, as my firsthand experience attests!!!
Bryan---- Dr. Phil's Show wanted you as an expert on...what? JW's? Parental kidnapping? So, is anything going to come of that 'story' idea?
everything has been going well for me for awhile until tonight.
mom calls and announces she can no longer talk with me.
i'm sad because i don't get to see mom and dad or my little neice that's sierra's age.
Freedomfrog: I SOOO feel for you!!!! Big hugs and love. You'll get through....
holy crap!
next thing ya know they'll be telling kids that gawd (the flying spaghetti monster) doesn't exist!!!
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23378895-details/'santa+claus+does+not+exist'+school+tells+stunned+kids/article.do.
I can't believe the person equating belief in Santa Clause with innocence--and the right to hold onto their 'innocence' as long as possible. More like their right to be duped. I remember being 10 and being annoyed that my mom was still trying to act as if Santa is real and gifts under the tree were from him. I felt like it was insulting my intelligence. I wasn't traumatized at my knowing the truth--my mom [the parent] was! The parent's game is then ended, as soon as the children know. But then how much does the children's trust in other things the parents say suffer?
