What My Parents Gave Me...

by compound complex 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Friends,

    I guess you could call me an orphan. I have been on my own for some time now and have become the next generation. Since our joining JWD, we have been individually and collectively saddened by one another's loss of mother or father. It seems that almost weekly condolences and offers of love and support have raced electronically from one PC to another. Now that I have personally come to terms with life and the inevitability of death, I feel settled in so many ways - at last - and wish that my parents were here to thank for all that they had given me. I have forgiven them for their mistakes because they loved me so much. Who I am and what I do everyday is because of what they gave me.

    Apart from the obvious provisions of food, clothing and shelter, what one (or two or...) gift(s) from your parents are you most grateful for? I am most grateful for their surrounding me with books, art and music. And you?



  • restrangled

    I am grateful for the same things Coco, in addition to the confidence my father gave me to "fix" things. He was very mechanically gifted. I learned all kinds of things, which has saved many dollars over the years in repair and installation costs. I regret not learning about car engines....my brothers did though.

    The love of gardening and the joy of animals too.


  • Mary

    I'm grateful for the love of history and religion that I inherited from my father as it led me to freedom from this cult. I'm also grateful that my parents have never treated me any differently since I stopped going to the meetings, nor do they shun my ex-Dubs friends who simply stopped going. They're very non-judgemental and that is worth it's weight in gold. I'm grateful that my parents never became alcoholics or drug addicts even though they lost 3 children in death. And I'm grateful to know that I can always count on them.

  • Sad emo
    Sad emo

    A bit of a double-edged sword for me I suppose - they taught me to survive on my own, trusting and relying on nobody else.

  • mrsjones5

    I am grateful to my mother for sparking in me a love of sewing with led to other handwork like knitting and crochet and for showing me how to cook. She never actually sat down with me to show me how to do any of it but she was my inspiration.

    I am grateful to my father for instilling me a sense of integrity. Which strikes me as funny since he's in the org but when I was growing up he was one of the most honest person I knew.

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    Funny you mention this. I was thinking about the same thing just the other day.

    Despite everything that has happened, the ups and downs and shunning etc....

    I am grateful to my mother for showing me how to take care of a family. For showing me how to cook, for showing me how to clean well, for being at times the greatest friend in the world.

    I am grateful to my father for.......not much. He brought in the $ and molested my sister so.....

  • Mulan

    They gave me a strong sense of family loyalty, and lots of stories about my roots, much of it on paper going back 8 generations. I am sure that contributed to my love of genealogy research.

    But, the family togetherness was emphasized in a very big way and I shaped my life with that concept. Unconditional love. When I stopped going to meetings, that love never wavered and still hasn't 10 years later.

    My mother was a wonderful cook, and taught me so much. I could cook a full meal for company when I was about 14, and did, when Mom had to work one Saturday unexpectedly. She called me and walked me through most of it. I had been cooking for years by then though so knew what I was doing.

  • serendipity

    Both my parents taught us practical things. Mom taught me how to clean, cook, do laundry, sew, balance a checkbook, budget, comparison shop, etc. My dad taught me how to use some tools and minor car maintenance. They taught me to look at consequences of my actions, and consider the future. They taught me a good work ethic: to work first, then play, advice I followed long enough to get me through high school and college with good grades, and firmly established in a career. They also instilled a sense of responsibility in us as well. My mom in particular stressed the importance of loyalty to the family.

    They weren't real strict JWs, so we got to do some fun things like going to High school football games and dances, and JW get togethers. They had a relaxed attitude toward alcohol, allowing us to drink as teens. We didn't go in service much and didn't slavishly follow GB 'advice', because my parents firmly believed that Christians should use their conscience. This basically gave me permission to set my own goals, and be somewhat comfortable with them, even if they weren't aligned with the WTS' ideals.

    My brother (active JW), sister and I (not JWs) are successful adults and productive members of society. We got there with very few missteps. As a result, though I disagreed with the methods my parents used, their objectives became my parenting objectives as well.

  • J-ex-W

    from my dad: Sense of humor and love of words

    from my mom: A keen eye for the interests of others--and a keen appreciation of good food!

    from the two of them collectively: A sense that differences and being complements of one another add both the spice and the smoothing oil to the recipe pot. Let it sit a while...giving it all time to blend really lets the flavors come through!

  • mama1119

    My Mom taught me how to be a good Mom. She also taught me to be a strong independent person( much to my husbands dismay), encouraged all things cultural. She also instilled a great love of shopping :)

    My Dad taught me how to cook. He also passed on the his sense of humour. Although both my parents are pretty funny.

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