have only just started posting on here.
read everyone elses though ... :-).
as some of you may know, i've just got my divorce through.
Hi KCM, sorry you're going through a tough time. It is daunting when you first leave the JWs, I was in the same situation with having to start again with friendships when I left.You will make new friends over time though, and they will be people who don't judge you on the number of meetings you attend or hours you do in the ministry!
I live in Kent too in the Medway Towns area. Are you anywhere near there?
i put 'frighten' in quote marks because i'm not sure that's exactly the word i'm looking for.
i've been away from the borg for 10 years now, and it doesn't bother me these days when i'm called on by jws - most of whom i know as i'm living in the same area still.
i can quite happily stand up for myself to them - although i have to be a little careful what i say as i was a fader and never df'd.
I put 'frighten' in quote marks because I'm not sure that's exactly the word I'm looking for. I've been away from the borg for 10 years now, and it doesn't bother me these days when I'm called on by JWs - most of whom I know as I'm living in the same area still. I can quite happily stand up for myself to them - although I have to be a little careful what I say as I was a fader and never DF'd. My mum is still in so for her sake would prefer not to be DF'd for apostate views.
I've been called on twice in the last 3 months by a lady who I've always thought very sweet and kind, but told her very firmly I have no interest in coming back and explained some of the reasons why. Last time she called, one of the elders in the cong was working my street too, and as soon as he walked past and looked at me I felt tense because I just knew he was passing judgement on me in his mind. They can't help themselves! This could be because he attended the judicial commitees I had the 'pleasure' of experiencing. It could also be because he could get me DF'd if he really wanted to, as I live with someone and have been divorced for reasons other than so called scriptural reasons. I know that if he knocked on my door I would not answer it. I would not have the courage to talk to him. I resent feeling fear of someone like him after all this time. I don't feel I have to answer to him anymore, I'm very happy and proud of my achievements since leaving. So why does he still have this power over me??? Its very annoying. Am I alone in feeling this way?
i, for one, was often embarrassed to be a jw; i always felt guilty about that, because it was always drilled into us that we should never be ashamed of our "religious heritage".
well, it's really hard to be the only one at your workplace who doesn't celebrate christmas, birthdays, etc.
it just draws so much unwanted attention to you, like when people try to tiptoe around certain subjects in your presence.
I found being a JW at school and later on at work extremely embarrassing. Which I would then feel guilty about.
Bumping into schoolfriends (not that I could call them friends, as they were 'worldly') on the ministry was the worst thing, followed by the exclusion from school activities and name calling that went with it.
Being verbally attacked at work over things like the blood issue was embarrassing too, as I found myself feeling I had to defend beliefs I didn't feel right about.
just had to share!
today is my birthday.
don't really know how i am supposed feel.
Happy birthday!!!
It took me a while to get used to celebrating them again, but go for it, enjoy, make up for the years without!!
ladies, growing up, did you ever feel that your mother resented or was jealous of you?
whenever i would get a compliment from someone, especially males, she would always find someway to turn right around and insult me in front of everyone.
we were at dinner one time with the co and he told me that i was a very beautiful young lady.
tee hee
ladies, growing up, did you ever feel that your mother resented or was jealous of you?
whenever i would get a compliment from someone, especially males, she would always find someway to turn right around and insult me in front of everyone.
we were at dinner one time with the co and he told me that i was a very beautiful young lady.
I can sympathise with this. My mum has rarely (if ever) paid me a compliment. She puts me down on a regular basis. She does this in subtle ways, if I told her someone complimented me she would start going on about how very attractive 'sister never a hair out of place' always looks. She will compliment my daughter openly, but never me. Very odd, as I compliment my daughter all the time, telling her how beautiful she is etc. I'm not sure whether it's a JW thing though, or whether she would be like it to me anyway.
I did wonder whether its because she has always had her 'style' restricted by the Org. When I stopped going to meetings, I started wearing clothes I wanted to wear, not what I was told I should wear. So on went the tight tops, short skirts, I dyed my hair blonde, had a couple of tattoos, had a boob job (shock horror). Maybe she's repressed and resents the fact I now do as I please appearance-wise.
Or perhaps she just doesn't like me !!!
i was just wondering, how many dfed to we have on here compared to da or faders??
?
Fader - about 9 years ago. My mum is still JW that's why I didn't DA, it's easier this way!
it really pigs me off now when i think back to what i was told to get rid of when i was studying.my collection of stephen king books, my new madonna like a prayer record that i loved, my alice cooper and guns and roses album.
i was even told not to listen to classical music because some of the composers led such debauched lives!also any film with an 18 certificate was a nono in case others were stumbled - even though i have seen other jws reading stephen king books and watching 18 cert films and my husband had the complete madonna collection!and of course depeche modes 'personal jesus' song which i loved.
and my lost boys album and video cos it was about vampires.i was just wondering what sort of things were you told you should get rid of and why?
After a circuit assembly talk about Idolatry, I went home and threw out all my books, posters, articles about my pop idols (tut tut) at the time, A-ha. All my lovely pics of Morten Harket...torn up and in the bin
Mind you I was a bit sad, collecting that many!!
one of the cornerstones of jw's is counsel.
they just love to give counsel and many times they will literally make things up just for the sake of counsel.
i was once counselled for joking around too much.
Counselled for these 3 things:
Talking in 'code' with my best friend when out at a JW social gathering..we were only 16 for god's sake. We'd say things like 'oesn'tday ******* ooklay upidstay (doesn't 'insert name' look stupid). Had to meet with 2 elders who told us our behaviour was worldly and upsetting to other bros and sis who were out with us!!
Told off for wearing dangly earrings, similar to the sort of earrings worn by prostitutes apparently!!
Wearing a skirt with a split in it (even though you still couldn't see above my knees). Wearing a knee length skirt which 'shock, horror' revealed an inch of knee when I sat down. Now don't go getting too excited..
Wearing a wrap round top which I kept pulling up to make sure no cleavage was revealed. An elder approached me and said 'doesn't that tell you something sister'....er yeah, that you're spending way too much time looking at my tits?
Oh the memories!!!!!
i've been 'lurking' on this discussion board for ages, but not posted until now - finally thought i'd go for it and post something myself!
i've chosen gypsy tart as my alias not because i'm a gypsy (i'm not), or a tart (not all the time lol) but because i love gypsy tart it's my v favourite pud ever!
i did think of calling myself 'hovisbiscuit' because that's what the other kids at school would call me (along with 'oh look it's a hova') whilst they all filed into assembly.
My apologies mouthy - it did sound as if I was saying that being old is the worst thing that could ever happen!! Yes I have a lovely house, beautiful 7 year old daughter and wonderful partner. I've given up work to do a psychology degree - life is pretty good really! I think what I'm worried about is - what a shame if we're here for just 70/80 years and then that's it? And no that doesn't mean I wish to live forever surrounded by JWs and having my life run by elders for eternity!! I just finished reading a book called 'Life after Life' - I forget the name of the author but it's about near death experiences. I'm not sure it's convinced me there is anything for us afterwards, but I like to hope there is.
Changing the subject slightly - for those who are interested, gypsy tart recipe as follows...
400g tin evaporated milk, 340g dark muscovado sugar, 1 10 inch pre-baked shortcrust pastry case
pre-heat oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6/ adjust for fan assisted ovens
Whisk milk and sugar together for at least 10 mins until mixture light, fluffy and coffee coloured, pour into pastry case, bake for 8 - 10 mins. Eat when cold! (in my case, eat the whole lot before other people in my family realise I've made one and want some )
It's scrummy. Think I might go make one now!
