Posts by OnTheWayOut

9

My search for religion.

by joe134cd in

since leaving the jws i have become more interested in finding out about other faiths.

here are a few of my findings.. lds: i just couldnt get my head around the mental gymnastics i would have to do to understand their doctrines and theology.

i attended their services twice.

I gotta say Joe, you visited some fringe outfits.
Might as well try Secular Humanists, Unitarian Universalists, and who is to say that Christianity is the one true way?
There are so many variations within. Disagree on one key point and you got yourself another Christian religion.

What about the Muslims and Buddhists and Hindus and YADDA YADDA YADDA?

I found it was sufficient to do my research online and through books in order to dismiss them all. And while I haven't specifically researched every last one of them, I figured the ONE TRUE FAITH should find me. The last time I wanted the ONE TRUE FAITH, I wound up as a Jehovah's Witness. Don't wanna wind up in a dangerous mind-control cult AGAIN!

20

boyfriend ex jehovah witness please help

by whatisthis12 in

so i posted yesterday.

my boyfriend and i have been living together for a year, and he went to the memorial tonight (sorry if that’s not what it’s called).

i told him i was upset he didn’t invite me but wasn’t going to tell him not to go because he hasn’t talked to his family for over a year.

OnTheWayOut

Although you probably need it a little harsh, I will try to say it in a way that isn't as hard-hitting as comments before mine.

He may not want to live the Jehovah's Witnesses lifestyle, but he misses his family. He hasn't necessarily deceived you, but he isn't sure if he wants a life with you or a life with them yet.

He wanted to go to the Memorial without you because he could then have open "fellowship" with his family, but if you were there, they would have almost certainly kept their distance. You would be the proof that he is not trying to live a moral (as defined by them) life.

But as stated, you cannot proceed with a relationship while he is subject to going back and forth on his issues.

81

Roll Call for the benefit of Newbies and Lurkers. In One Sentence tell why you left the Org.

by Wasanelder Once in

roll call for the benefit of newbies and lurkers.

in one sentence tell why you left the org.

not 2 sentences.

OnTheWayOut

So many things disturbed me about double standards for elders and their family or changing doctrines or money issues that I finally overcame some kind of programmed fear and simply googled "Jehovah's Witnesses" and started discovering all the lies.

6

Go to memorial tonight and chug the entire cup when it's passed to you

by Bad_Wolf in

jw
friends

has anybody done this?

i'd love to hear the story.

i wonder how they'd scramble to fix that if somebody chugged the whole glass, and even more if was set up with two people to sit in places to get both glasses at the same time.

OnTheWayOut

Spoiling their day with any such action would have to be therapeutic for the person doing it, because it just adds fuel to their fire of persecution complex.

25

Being a JW kid is hell

by JRK in

in therapy, i was told i should write a letter of grievances to each of my parents.

i really do not have any for my mother, except for things that directly relate to being raised as a jehovah's witness.

upon reflection, my childhood was hell because of the religion and its pernicious corruption of a normal childhood.

OnTheWayOut

JRK: It was strange, when the therapist told me to write the letters, I thought I had no resentments towards my mother. Then I thought of the religion and it poured out. Mom was the sweetest person, but the cult messed her up.

Her problem, not mine- but my JW mother thinks all my problems are caused by my alcoholic father because I am an alcoholic and because I am smart like him and maybe a few other "like him" things.
In therapy, I know there's tons of feelings about my mother also, and not all of them are JW stuff.

For me, the important thing at therapy was not so much "assigning blame" to anyone, but understanding what happened and being able to move forward from it. I hope that helps.

117

Lloyd’s new book

by jwfacts in

i see there has already been discussion over lloyd’s new book how to leave the jehovah's witnesses.

this includes discussion around his personality, motives and financial gains.

i have written a foreword for this book, because it is an important topic that has not been covered in such a complete format before.

OnTheWayOut

Maybe if I answer with a similar attitude as Cedars, it will be more clear.
Facebook and AAWA??? He apologized for that. He clearly stated it wasn't his fault and it was no big deal anyway and nobody was hurt despite their claims. Then he apologized anyway saying that stuff again and again. He was sorry that people blamed him and that they felt hurt by what happened, so despite it not being his fault, he apologized. At least, that's the way I read his apology.

As for contributing to his income, I will answer this way. I wrote a book and would love to write a second one. But I really truly write best when I don't have to worry about other work, and I write even better if I can afford to do it from a tropical beach. So if I start a gofundme page, it's just so that I can write my best book for YOUR benefit. And any inspirations you all send me, if you help keep me on that tropical beach, I will thank you for letting me collect royalties for including your inspirations and for paying for the privilege. Don't worry, you all won't be entirely paying for my tropical living. I will have to contribute myself, just less with your help.

I could go on with the other subjects, but I hope I made my point already. Sure, I won't get rich off of ex-JW stuff, but I would like to try.

25

Being a JW kid is hell

by JRK in

in therapy, i was told i should write a letter of grievances to each of my parents.

i really do not have any for my mother, except for things that directly relate to being raised as a jehovah's witness.

upon reflection, my childhood was hell because of the religion and its pernicious corruption of a normal childhood.

OnTheWayOut

My JW mother was all about the end of the world in 1975 and my non-JW dad made sure we didn't miss out on a fairly normal upbringing with birthdays and Christmas and the like. I went to many meetings, was told to fear the end of the world. I don't know that Jehovah's Armageddon was all that real to me, but JW's was the only religion I really learned. I saw a fellow student, Natalie, raised more hardcore JW and she had to leave the classroom for holiday stuff and she didn't say the pledge.

My parents divorced, Mom was DF'ed sometime shortly after 1976 started and went back a few years later. As a young teenager, I wasn't interested in going back with her, so I did not.

I feel for others. It seems I managed to escape many of the "growing up JW problems." I get it, because I have heard it and saw it happening to others. Certainly, I was changed by my JW childhood experiences, but not in such terrible ways as others.

Your letter should be very therapeutic for you. I hope it helps. Writing about things helps me immensely. I wrote a letter to my mother long ago and destroyed it so it couldn't accidentally wind up in her hands.

117

Lloyd’s new book

by jwfacts in

i see there has already been discussion over lloyd’s new book how to leave the jehovah's witnesses.

this includes discussion around his personality, motives and financial gains.

i have written a foreword for this book, because it is an important topic that has not been covered in such a complete format before.

OnTheWayOut

I have to say DITTO to what Slimboyfat says. (Imagine that, WOW!) "The main problem is the frequent display of poor judgment."

Facebook, not really apologising, asking people for money to put something in his book (looking for good material or subject matter, taking creative control away, AND charging for being used) and his thing about Crisis of Conscience, and let's not forget a Gofundme just to contribute so he can write a book.

I liked his videos, so yes it's a shame even I cannot separate the snake oil salesmanship from the product. But really, it's there.

I don't judge others for liking his product, nor buying, contributing, or writing a forward. I can only hold so much grudge, and it doesn't go beyond Lloyd.

Paul, maybe you miss a point about Lloyd. I wrote a book that was received well by ex-JW's and I recognize the tiny market. But I saw how you or Randy Watters or Barb give away your valuable info and I tried to echo the same- my book is available in one free format, one $0.99 digital format, or as a printed book for less than $6. Maybe the market is small, but Lloyd was hoping to squeeze blood out of that turnip.

I basically feel that he wants a salary to write his book, and people to pay him for all the "free" work he has already done supposedly for our sakes. While people like you feel the honor of just helping others, and didn't stop when there really wasn't money in it.

I might could have put that aside if any of his afterthoughts and fake apologies did not sound so similar to those of Watchtower denying "they" had any fault in the 1975 debacle. But it has that same vibe.

46

Memorial.. To go or not to go

by Emily1987 in

jw
friends

so, as some of you will know myself and my husband are in the process of fading.

haven't been to a meeting since beginning of 2017. .

we weren't planning on going to the memorial, but last week my mother broke down and said that we have to go to the memorial even if it's the only meeting i go to this year.

OnTheWayOut

Hard to say. Were it me and if Mom is expecting me to go WITH her, I would be straight up and say "I don't want to cause the elders to start harassing me. If you want me to go, we need to go to a completely different Hall."

Short of that, I would not go. If it's that Mom wants me to be seen by people that know me, I would say no. If my answer is no, I would remind her that JW's say that only the anointed are commanded to participate.

If she just expects me to go ANYWHERE, then I would go to a completely different Hall on my own, arrive last minute and leave immediately, having parked down the street so I could get outta there.

19

Columbia, SC and Arleta, CA members - I need your help

by RunAwayDaughter in

jw
friends

my 18-year-old daughter in columbia, sc ran away to arleta, ca to move in with jw family.

they are living together with the mother's permission in her house along with 10 other family members.

she is surrounded by jws 24 hours a day, seven days a week.. is there anyone in the columbia area who would be willing to help me - maybe meet for a cup of coffee or facetime.

OnTheWayOut

OTWO: When you say "All that is explained in a previous post," we don't know which post and what thread. You started 3 threads about this subject and we don't all read all the pages of even one thread, let alone multiple threads.

Just Fine: I think mom has already made it clear that daughter is going to be punished for moving out. Mom stated in a previous thread that she has already rescinded the college fund daughter had and reallocated it to her youngest son. Mom also is withholding identification from daughter.

See, I skimmed the pages and I didn't catch any of that about punishment and rescinding college funds. If so, you could say that is not so anymore. You don't have to say "I was wrong" or "You were wrong." Just say you want her to go to school so badly that you are willing to forget what was said already.