OnTheWayOut

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Posts by OnTheWayOut

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  30

  The "Imperfect Men" Argument

  by steve2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  one of the most common "defences" of jw organization is that "the brothers" are imperfect yet still strive to follow god's word.

  "sure, they make mistakes," so the argument goes, "but so did god's people in the past, including in bible times.

  " the key point is their readiness to keep studying god's word and learning from their mistakes.".

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  OnTheWayOut

  They will tell you that the difference between "inspired" and "spirit-directed" is that the exact words of the inspired were God's because they were in direct contact with God, and that the spirit-directed ones are doing their best to understand God's guidance but are not in direct contact.
  
  But really, why would God do it one way for Jews then Christians in the day, but totally different now? There is no real difference between the two terms except that the GB wants allowance for changing the doctrines.
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  28

  What do I do ?

  by jdash in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.

  i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.

  my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.

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  OnTheWayOut

  all I need to do it save up some more money so I can be able to afford a car, and maybe insurance.

  I hope you are being cute/funny. Get insurance, not MAYBE!
  
  It sounds like you are being smart and cautious, and doing what you can to live outside the JW box at the same time. Good going.
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  28

  What do I do ?

  by jdash in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.

  i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.

  my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.

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  OnTheWayOut

  They told me that if I disassociate myself, then my grandfather will lose his position as an elder.

  It might/probably would happen. It would not be your fault were that to happen. Its cult rules and practices. But its enough that some serious problems would exist between you and your grandparents.

  Do your best to find a way to make your future happen your way. You may later be shunned by family, possibly not. But let all that wait while in school.
  
  
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  8

  Fade..... or this?

  by Giordano in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  there are four ways to leave the 'truth'...... alive............you can be disfellowshiped...... then shunned, you can formally disassociate yourself and be shunned........ you can fade.

  the first two words belong to the society, fade on the other hand is defined as 'to gradually grow faint and disappear.

  ' 'walking away' has it's own negative connotation about one's commitments and relationships.. i think some folks feel uncomfortable with these words.

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  OnTheWayOut

  I faded fast over less than a year, but have suggested that some try to leave faster if they either have no family reason to hang around or if they may retain such family anyway. It might also be that those with a JW spouse and children they hope to get out of the cult should try leaving faster.

  I suggest many try to just leave all at once without any slow reduction of activity. It can't always be done and keep loved ones' communication too. But it is something to consider.
  
  That might be a huge disconnect or "disengage" move.
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  28

  What do I do ?

  by jdash in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.

  i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.

  my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.

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  OnTheWayOut

  If you are a junior, you have this entire year and half of 2019 in high school. You need a stable home environment for the next 18 months. You might really need to move slowly on the disassociation thing. Life at home as a JW might be miserable, but life at home as a DA'ed JW could be worse than barely doing the minimum. I know that, to a seventeen year old, that seems like "forever" but it really isn't that long.

  And I know it's tough to have all kinds of people in your life who are JW's and contemplate losing their friendship/contact. Before such a thing happens, you have to have a chance to develop outside friends. If you think 18 months of pretending is long, it is going to seem like an eternity if you are severely restricted all the time and have nobody talking to you among the people you are allowed to be around.
  
  This is the link to the 4th Annual Midwest Apostafest- a gathering near Indianapolis in the summer of 2017:
  https://www.facebook.com/events/381343342244843/
  
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  28

  What do I do ?

  by jdash in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.

  i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.

  my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.

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  OnTheWayOut

  Then maybe consider doing the bare minimum. Don't resign and say you will get "some" recruiting work in- an hour a month of not really trying.

  That just works for 11 months. You need to plan long term. Are you graduating high school this year? What next? You can go for scholarships, but you need a place to live.

  Also, there is a great picnic just south of Indianapolis in August. I will link you to it on a post soon.
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  10

  (Not?) Hypnotized

  by TerryWalstrom in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what you are about to read i've never told anyone before.. why?

  because it is mysterious.. mostly because it is a bit like the corner of your eye.

  you see movement there but you won't be reciting any eye chart letters.what you read next is sort of like that.i don't like to be vague.

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  OnTheWayOut

  In other words, my Monorails of Mars is a book only meant for me to read---a message from my mind--for me alone.

  I won't interfere then. Let us know, in some long story, what you think of it if you ever read it.

  I am pretty sure these stories are fictions. Keep trying.
  
  
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  20

  Best way to deal with anger at the GB while waking up?

  by CovertsadJW in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  good morning everyone , .

  i am wondering how people have personally delt with the anger at the gb when waking up and realizing it’s a scam, lie , and it’s awfully depressing .

  i have had difficulty concentrating at work , have had an emotional roller coaster between okay days and awful days.

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  OnTheWayOut

  Buy that book, EXITING THE JW CULT. It is written by an exJW turned therapist. I wish I found it when I was angry.
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  20

  Best way to deal with anger at the GB while waking up?

  by CovertsadJW in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  good morning everyone , .

  i am wondering how people have personally delt with the anger at the gb when waking up and realizing it’s a scam, lie , and it’s awfully depressing .

  i have had difficulty concentrating at work , have had an emotional roller coaster between okay days and awful days.

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  OnTheWayOut

  I posted this on your other thread, but I had not seen this thread yet:
  
  I went to counseling. Some have suggested marriage counseling on [your other] thread. Sure, sounds great. I doubt your wife would want to go, knowing the JW forced thinking on worldly counselors. So that leaves telling her "we" are going to a marriage counselor then going without her if she refuses, or just telling her you are going to a counselor for yourself.
  
  And yes, I get that it is not practical financially for everyone. We don't all have the insurance or the money to go to regular counseling. My insurance did cover most of it. I also discovered later, this excellent book that will help- EXITING THE JW CULT by Bonnie Zieman.
  (https://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132 ) Whether you go to counseling or not, consider that book. There's a kindle version you can get without anyone seeing a print book in the mail.
  
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  57

  What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

  by CovertsadJW in

  1. social
  2. family

  good afternoon , .

  i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

  i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

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  OnTheWayOut

  What do you do about the anger that one experiences when waking up. Anger of being lied to for decades, anger about wasting allot of time on nonsense.

  
  I went to counseling. Some have suggested marriage counseling on this thread. Sure, sounds great. I doubt your wife would want to go, knowing the JW forced thinking on worldly counselors. So that leaves telling her "we" are going to a marriage counselor then going without her if she refuses, or just telling her you are going to a counselor for yourself.
  
  And yes, I get that it is not practical financially for everyone. We don't all have the insurance or the money to go to regular counseling. My insurance did cover most of it. I also discovered later, this excellent book that will help- EXITING THE JW CULT by Bonnie Zieman. ( https://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132 ) Whether you go to counseling or not, consider that book. There's a kindle version you can get without anyone seeing a print book in the mail.