Posts by Virgochik

11

Mindful Eating

by rebel8 in

have you read this book?

mindful eating: a guide to rediscovering a healthy and joyful relationship with food (paperback), by jan chozen bays (author).

mr. rebel8 and i are reading it right now to eat healthier.

Virgochik

I had trouble keeping weight ON as a Elder's Daughter Perfect Example Kid, lol. As a teen, I was so nervous being perfect and hating the meetings that I felt like throwing up all the time.

I like Stevia the best. It's super sweet, so a little bit in tea or coffee (1/3 of a packet) goes a long way. I haven't noticed a wierd after taste with Stevia, but I really do with Splenda. You can get used to it fairly quickly if you want to. Moderation is the ticket with anything, but these sweeteners help while weaning away from sugar.

I went on Adkins over four years ago and lost and have still kept off 35 pounds. Stevia and Splenda gave me a boost in the beginning. Now I've modified my diet to just eat healthy and in modest portions. I wear size 4 or 6 and I feel great! I can't really stomach sugary desserts now because I'm not used to them.

My splurge is a glass of Shiraz or Chianti with cheese and crackers before bed. Gotta enjoy life!

11

Mindful Eating

by rebel8 in

have you read this book?

mindful eating: a guide to rediscovering a healthy and joyful relationship with food (paperback), by jan chozen bays (author).

mr. rebel8 and i are reading it right now to eat healthier.

Virgochik

I was successful weaning myself away from sweets by substituting Splenda or Stevia. It was almost like a withdrawal from drugs or something for a few days. Once the sugar craving is out of your system, you really don't miss it. There are so many things available now with Splenda, even ice creams and chocolates.

You'll feel so much better without the ups and downs sugar causes. Hope it goes well!

39

Were your parents control freaks?

by Dustin in

jw
friends

growing up in the jw religion and having a dad who was an elder, i remember how controlling they were.

i find it amazing now just how much of my childhood i missed out on.

i couldn't watch alot of t.v.

Virgochik

My Dad was a congregation servant and then an elder the whole time I was growing up. I had to be inspected before every meeting to make sure my hose didn't have runs, my skirt wasn't too short, shoes were OK, hair was OK, I had my Bible/songbook/bookbag or whatever all ready so I could be a good example. He did this outside, by the car so the neighbors could see. I had to turn a complete circle to be looked over.

I don't know if he was ignorant, or what, but one time I had a zit on my chin since I was a teenager. He asked me what the thing was on my face and I had to explain it. A teenage chick's already embarassed about having a zit on her face so obviously, here I am 50 years old and still remembering how this made me feel.

When I got to be about 17 they started inviting "suitable brothers" over to the house for lunch after the Watchtower study. I guess they decided it was time for me to get married. Needless to say, I got a crummy job and an apartment and got the hell away from them as soon as possible. I never dated any of their picks.

Sometimes I still lay in bed before work in the morning and just remember things, like how my Mother made my clothes until I just flat out refused to wear them in junior high school. I realize now how naive and uneducated and inexperienced they were, and what a wierd childhood I had being raised by these two odd people. They meant well, I do believe, but they have no idea what memories I still carry and how narrowminded they were and how many opportunities they denied me. I did have a few talents but when my teachers approached them about college or joining band or language clubs and they always decided for me. "Virgochik wants to put Jehoveh's interests first in her life, thank you anyway. She won't be participating in any after school clubs."

I have days still when I'm really angry, and days when I just feel sorry for them. They haven't changed much, still narrowminded and stuck in the mud. They've got no interest in learning to text message, or sending emails, for example. I just have to shake my head and move on. Well, I try to move on, but we still have those random memories crop up, don't we?

42

Things You'd Like To Say But Stifle Yourself From Saying

by minimus in

jw
friends

due to the fact that my mother and some other relatives and a handful of friends are devout jehovah's witnesses, i sometimes stifle my remarks regarding "the truth".. my mother asked me if i felt bad at all for not attending the memorial this year.

(she still holds hope i might come back).

i simply said that i did not feel bad at all.

Virgochik

I wonder how many of us kids who weren't ever supposed to see careers are helping our elderly parents out financially nowadays? How many of us are darned lucky (yes, I said the "L" word!) to have stumbled upon good jobs in spite of not being allowed to go to college, and now we help Mom and Dad with groceries or mail Wal-Mart gift cards to them? Don't they feel the littlest twinge of guilt? Because we did it in spite of them, and without their help. We made it on our own.

I want to ask, "Aren't you secretly just a bit proud of me?

42

Things You'd Like To Say But Stifle Yourself From Saying

by minimus in

jw
friends

due to the fact that my mother and some other relatives and a handful of friends are devout jehovah's witnesses, i sometimes stifle my remarks regarding "the truth".. my mother asked me if i felt bad at all for not attending the memorial this year.

(she still holds hope i might come back).

i simply said that i did not feel bad at all.

Virgochik

I'd like to casually ask my parents, "Hey, remember in 1975, when you said I wouldn't finish high school, and I'd never have to have a career? Then you guys took early retirement to pioneer? Wow, isn't it a lucky, er, fortunate, that I got a good government job so I can help you now with food and utilities? I mean, who woulda thought I'd be planning MY retirement in a few years?"

Wonder what they'd have to say?

17

Congregation politics are so bitter precisely because the stakes are so low

by Olin Moyles Ghost in

jw
friends

though i've never been an elder (thank god), i was raised by one and know several.

it has been my observation that there is a tremendous amount of politics on bodies of elders.

this is probably not a news flash to most of you.. there is a saying that "academic politics are so bitter because the stakes are so low.

Virgochik

We had a similar split at my last hall before I moved out from my parents. The "MC" congregation got all the popular people and the best meeting times. The "TC" congregation had to meet on Sunday afternoons or early evenings. It sucked. The joke was, "Oh, no, you got assigned to TC!" The publishers were the weak ones, and attendance was lower in the Sunday evening meetings. It was no accident, it was a popularity contest. So many things I saw proved beyond any doubt that this religion wasn't anything guided by Jesus.

17

Congregation politics are so bitter precisely because the stakes are so low

by Olin Moyles Ghost in

jw
friends

though i've never been an elder (thank god), i was raised by one and know several.

it has been my observation that there is a tremendous amount of politics on bodies of elders.

this is probably not a news flash to most of you.. there is a saying that "academic politics are so bitter because the stakes are so low.

Virgochik

I grew up on stories about the servants, as they called them when I was a kid in the 60's and 70's. We usually had a long drive home from meetings on school nites, so I'd curl up in the back seat burrowed into my coat to sleep. This was because my dad would storm off with our publisher cards to a Hall in a nearby town because he'd got into it with the clique and moved us to another congregation. (It usually wasn't much better.)

Then, it began. My dad would rant all the way home to my mom about the latest backstabbing and snarky comments the brothers made in the library. Competition was fierce to be PO or just to be powerful in the congregation, and there was more campaigning than in election year!

Even as a child it bothered me. How could those brothers be so mean to my daddy? If my daddy was always angry and upset and planning revenge against his latest rival, was something wrong at the Hall? I sensed something very wrong with the picture and knew hypocrisy when I saw it. There was always a rush to butter up the new CO and DO even if it meant badmouthing some other brother. Dad said he could tell he'd been slandered prior to meeting them, by the way they acted funny towards him. He'd find out the CO had been invited to dinner at Brother Backstabber's home the night before and he'd been talked about.

Then there were the wives who ran their own gossip rings and never included my mom, because of their husbands feuding. Some of the sisters would swoop past me with a smirk, because mom wasn't in the clique, and I was only a child!

All the way home, they talked about different ones and even had nicknames for people. It was really ugly and nasty and to this day, I remember those rides home after the meetings. And they wonder why I left "the truth" when I became an adult. Lately, they're wondering why I don't want to come back! My dad was treated very malicious and shabby, but he dished out plenty too.

It's all bogus- no way Jesus would ever have treated anybody this way and I want no part of it!

24

For the inactive: Five reasons why JWs encourage you to go back

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

for those of us who are inactive and receiving encouragment to go back to meetings, what do you think their reasons are?.

here are five suggestions:.

) they genuinely think you will die at armaggedon.

Virgochik

In my parents' case, I think they're embarrassed about me, ashamed that I left "the truth." When people I grew up with ask how I'm doing, they'd give their right leg to be able to say, "Oh, Sister Virgochik's sooo strong in the organization, bla-bla." Instead, I wonder what they do come up with to say.

They think they failed as parents because I didn't stick with the way I was raised, what a humilliation I am to them!

20

For those who chose not to have kids--any regrets?

by Alpaca in

jw
friends

when i was younger i didn't really have any second thoughts about deciding not to have kids.. when i think about the great relationship i had with my non-dub dad, i now wish that i had at least one child.. the decision was based on the borg's encouragement to put "spiritual interests" ahead of personal interests.

this is just one more of the long-lasting detriments to my life caused by the borg..

Virgochik

I got married late. I was very independent and had trouble with male headship because of being raised a Witness. It took me a long time to see not all men were domineering like the Witness guys. I met my husband at work and he's so refreshing! He treats me as an equal partner; none of the headship and in subjection gargage I was raised with.

By then, I began having "female problems" that made it too late to try for a child. Hubby and I weren't really keen on becoming parents in our forties anyway, but I think we would've had one child if we'd found each other in our thirties. I really have no regrets. We've had a great time traveling the world and enjoying life, doing whatever we feel like without watching kids when we come home from work tired and stressed. We know we may be missing out on some experiences, but we're pretty happy with our lives.

Sometimes I worry about who'll help us when we're old, but hey- my Granny had five kids, and she's still in an assisted living home, so having kids is no guarantee. I figure that's where we'll end up some day, right along side lots of people who have kids!

29

Did you like the name "Jehovah's Witnesses"?

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

or did you wish the religion had a more mainstream name?

i can remember a "worldly" schoolmate telling me he wouldn't object to the religion so much if the name didn't sound so weird..

Virgochik

It was stoopid. Kids asked me, "So what did you witness? A mugging? A robbery?" For once, I was speechless. What WAS it we were supposed to be witnesses of anyway?