Posts by Vormek2.8

8

Tribute to Norm Hovland and Co.

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

norm is hands down my favorite xjw writer.

i wish he still posted but i guess he's said all there is to say.

in case some on this board are unfamiliar with norm's great work, here's a link to the topics he's started.

Vormek2.8

edited to allow Farkel as an honorary Scandinavian.

8

Tribute to Norm Hovland and Co.

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

norm is hands down my favorite xjw writer.

i wish he still posted but i guess he's said all there is to say.

in case some on this board are unfamiliar with norm's great work, here's a link to the topics he's started.

Norm is hands down my favorite XJW writer. I wish he still posted but I guess he's said all there is to say. In case some on this board are unfamiliar with Norm's great work, here's a link to the topics he's started. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/member/4850/topics/1.ashx

For those of you who have just recently left the org. perhaps you should be introduced to the great Scandinavians who helped many of us.I speak of Norm Hovland, Kent Steinhaug, Jan Haugland. Some chose to forget their work as if they were JW Trotsky's, but I remember. THEY EXISTED!

Bless You all wherever you may be.

30

Stupid Rush Limbaugh comment

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

"how could the dinosaurs have lived in the deserts of the middle east?

he said that about 2 weeks ago.

"i knew they were supposed to have lived in louisianna and texas but i've become skeptical because they want me to believe they could live in the sands of arabia".

Vormek2.8

If we stick to serious JW discussion there will be about 2-3 threads a week usually by the same 3-5 people.

30

Stupid Rush Limbaugh comment

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

"how could the dinosaurs have lived in the deserts of the middle east?

he said that about 2 weeks ago.

"i knew they were supposed to have lived in louisianna and texas but i've become skeptical because they want me to believe they could live in the sands of arabia".

Vormek2.8

Perhaps it may be off topic for a JW discussion board but.....the following are being discussed currently on this board.... "Diet and lifestyle change" "where's dubla?" "Card game" "Anyone ever seen a ghost?" "Sell youself here" "my favorite mayor is at it again" "Need Help in Understanding the "Blood Alcohol Content" and Its Effects"

30

Stupid Rush Limbaugh comment

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

"how could the dinosaurs have lived in the deserts of the middle east?

he said that about 2 weeks ago.

"i knew they were supposed to have lived in louisianna and texas but i've become skeptical because they want me to believe they could live in the sands of arabia".

Vormek2.8

"How could the dinosaurs have lived in the deserts of the middle east?" He said that about 2 weeks ago. "I knew they were supposed to have lived in Louisianna and Texas but i've become skeptical because they want me to believe they could live in the sands of arabia". Apparently he's unfamiliar with continental drift and the fact that deserts weren't always so. I guess his head would explode if someone informed him that the sahara was once green and parts of the American west were once an inland sea. A few minutes later he went on about how oil spills in the Ocean are no big deal since oil is a natural substance.

6

Tower of the Flock

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

could there be something prophetic about these four hallelujahs?

psalm 104 concludes with "hallelujah" (translated "praise ye the lord" in the kjv).

in this study, well see that the bible also presents time-space as a circle.

Vormek2.8

Do you have an Intelligent reply?

6

Tower of the Flock

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

could there be something prophetic about these four hallelujahs?

psalm 104 concludes with "hallelujah" (translated "praise ye the lord" in the kjv).

in this study, well see that the bible also presents time-space as a circle.

Vormek2.8

We would do well to review Psalm 105 and consider whether its various themes might be telling us to expect some Divine intervention into human affairs during the next twelve months.

Certainly, we are not prophets. We cannot prognosticate. But the Psalms have an uncanny way of giving hope for a glorious future to both Judaism and Christianity.

For example, last January, in our study of Psalm 104, we noted that the term "hallelujah" was used for the first time in the Bible. It is followed with three more hallelujahs in Psalms 105 and 106. These four hallelujahs bring this particular division of the Psalms to its conclusion. Could there be something prophetic about these four hallelujahs? There are only four hallelujah’s in the New Testament, — all found in Revelation 19, the chapter that tells us about the glorious appearing of Christ. Do these four hallelujahs in Psalms 104-106 also relate to the events surrounding the Second Coming of Christ?

Psalm 104 concludes with "hallelujah" (translated "Praise ye the Lord" in the KJV). Psalm 105 concludes with "hallelujah;" and the last psalm of the section, Psalm 106, has two hallelujahs, one at the beginning and the other at the end of the psalm.

The Bible presents time-space as linear, with the seven days of Creation providing the layout of seven thousand future years of human endeavor and divine redemption. As described previously, it also presents time as symmetrical, that is, with Christ at its center. From that center, history is laid out in two directions — past and future. These two directions present mirror images of His redemptive work, with Paradise dominating both past and future.

In this study, we’ll see that the Bible also presents time-space as a circle. The circle — a line traced at a constant distance (radius) around a common center point, has aspects of eternity. It is finite, yet continuous. A kinetically-charged point can race around and around a statically-balanced center. In a vacuum, absent the forces of atmospheric and electromagnetic drag, such circular motion is practically infinite.

As we shall see, the circle represents two metaphysical truths. First, it traces cycles in history, in which events tend to be repeated on a systematic basis. Second, the relationship between its circumference and its diameter is mathematically irreconcilable (irrational), transcending time-space and pointing toward the infinite. In fact, the circle has long been seen as a symbol of eternity.

In our last article, we examined the time-space travels of the prophet Ezekiel. As we saw, his encounters with the chariot of the Lord included phenomenal living creatures, precious materials and wheels within wheels. The structure of his celestial transportation vehicle is not incidental. Its myriad rotational interactions are freighted with meaning.

We noted that Jewish writings speak of his mind-boggling encounter as Ma’aseh Merkavah, or the "Account of the Chariot." It is of great interest that this same term is used elsewhere by Jewish commentators, who use it to refer to "metaphysical secrets." In other words, the chariot’s wheels and rings speak of deeper truths. Their very terminology allows us to see that Ezekiel’s wheels reveal the deeper spiritual truths of Scripture. These wheels are described as having "eyes," and their complex interactions are truly inexplicable:

"The appearance of the wheels and their work was like unto the colour of a beryl: and they four had one likeness: and their appearance and their work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel.

"When they went, they went upon their four sides: and they turned not when they went.

"As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and their rings were full of eyes round about them four" (Ezekiel 1:16-18).

The jewel-like wheels must have had the appearance of precious stones and metals. The vehicle rode upon a series of spinning devices. Its very emergence from another dimension links motion through space with rotating force.

Without going into great detail, it is very obvious that this description of a wonderful vehicle is based upon sets of circles. It apparently had sets of concentric wheels, rings and "eyes" (which are themselves, circles).

Things that spin, revolve and rotate remind us that the entirety of created nature is built upon myriads of spinning energy fields, ranging from the inner structure of atoms to massive rotating galaxies.

Ezekiel was visited by the Lord, who came visibly through a portal from another dimension. If there is any insight at all in this episode, it is that the interdimensional world must involve interactive circular fields.

What Is a Circle?

Down through the ages, the geometry and mathematical structure of the circle has been viewed as a kind of Holy Grail. In the post-Flood era, when men began to build magnificent structures of all kinds, they designed circular enclosures, columns, posts, arcs, arches and the wheel. All of these involved calculating measurements of length and area.

In all these endeavors, they were faced with the problem of squaring the circle … calculating its area, and describing the relationship between its circumference and its diameter.

It is quite easy to lay out a square, using a ninety-degree angle and simple ruler. Figuring its area by multiplying its length by its width is child’s play. And finding the correlation between one of its sides and its total outside perimeter is a simple four-to-one ratio.

But the circle posed a special problem, since there was no obvious way to find the precise relationship between its circumference and its diameter. For the ancient Chinese, Indian and Greek thinkers, the solution to this ratio became a quest pursued on many levels. But not until well into the 18 th century would this ratio come to be represented by the Greek letter pi ( p ).

Petr Beckmann, author of A History of p (pi), documents the continuing efforts of brilliant mathematicians to make sense of the simple circle. For very practical reasons, he says, they wanted to discover the relationship between a circle’s circumference and its diameter.

At first, he says, mathematicians used geometry, laying out various solutions on papyrus or vellum. Before that, their earliest efforts probably began when they drove a stake in the sand and scribed a circle with another stake at the end of a rope. Then another rope could be cut to measure the circle’s diameter, which is simply double the radius. Having that, they could then lay the diameter-length rope in the groove of the circle’s perimeter.

Using this technique, they would have quickly learned that just over three rope lengths (diameters) would go almost all the way around the circle. They could easily have discovered that the remainder required just over one-eighth of the rope’s length to complete the circle.

By about 2000 B.C., both the Baby-lonians and Egyptians had settled upon the figure of 3 1/8, or 3.125. That is, they reasoned that it would take 3.125 diameters to reach all the way around the circumference of a given circle.

In about 1000 B.C., King Solomon undertook the construction of the First Temple and its furnishings. One of the articles was a huge circular mikvah, or pool of water, for the ritual ablutions of the priesthood. It was cast from a single piece of brass, supported on the backs of twelve brazen oxen, and was nearly eighteen feet in diameter.

It is well known that the biblical account of its construction describes the relationship between its diameter and its circumference:

"And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about" (I Kings 7:23).

This encompassing "line" supports the image of using a rope for scribing a circle and measuring the circumference.

It’s easy to see that this picture gives a ratio of exactly three (thirty divided by ten) … far short of the value used by the Egyptians and Babylonians in the preceding millennium. It might seem that the Bible gives us an inaccurate rendering of the dimensions involved.

But then we read further:

"And it was an hand breadth thick, and the brim thereof was wrought like the brim of a cup, with flowers of lilies: it contained two thousand baths" (I Kings 7:26).

This "hand breadth" is usually put at about 3.5 inches. Both rims would then make the inside diameter differ by about seven inches from the outside diameter. Since there is no precise description of the measurement points, a circumference-to-diameter ratio of well over three — nearing the modern value of p — is easily justified, depending upon how the measurements were actually made.

The Pursuit of PI

It was not until years later that the pursuit of the elusive ratio began in earnest under Ptolemaic rule. Ptolemy gained control over Egypt in 306 B.C. Under the rulers of his dynasty, the academic community of Alexandria attracted scholars and mathematicians from Grecian, Egyptian and Jewish sources.

Among them was Euclid, who is credited with establishing precise mathematical rigor in the solving of geometric proofs. Many men built upon his work.

But the most famous of them all was Archimedes of Syracuse. His life and work in the third century B.C. are legendary. In particular, he pursued the ancient problem of squaring the circle. With great tenacity and precision, he circumscribed circles with regular polygons, measuring them with increasingly greater precision. Finally, through this method, he arrived at a value of 3 1/7, or 3.1428. By the time of Christ, this value was generally accepted.

The third and forth decimal places of this number are now known to be slightly high. And though it fails to go beyond two decimal places in accuracy, even today 3.14 is quite sufficient for ordinary reckoning in construction.

In the second century A.D., the astronomer Ptolemy, using a value of 377 divided by 120, calculated p as 3.14166, a very accurate value.

In the seventeenth century, Sir Isaac Newton discovered the mathematical method known as "the calculus." Using it, he arrived at a value of p that was correct to 16 decimal places.

A Transcendental Obsession

In the eightenth century, the Prussian mathematician Leonhard Euler derived the value of to many more decimal places. After years of work, he pronounced this elusive ratio as "irrational." That is, by definition, it is a real number that cannot be expressed by the multiplication of any two integers.

Later, he pronounced p to be possessed of such peculiarities that it can’t be compared with any other number. Its qualities, he called "transcendental." Mathematically, the dictionary definition of a transcendental number is that it is "incapable of being the root of an algebraic equation with rational integral coefficients." Unless you are a mathematician, let us settle by simply saying that p is unique.

Euler was the first to define p in this way. From that day to this, mathematicians have offered many proofs that the long-elusive ratio is "transcendental." In 1961, an IBM computer was used to calculate p to 100,000 decimal places.

In 1966, increasingly sophisticated programs computed p to 250,000 decimal places. And in 1967, this phenomenal number was extended to 500,000 decimal places. In all these calculations, p continues to be extended, ad infinitum! As far as anyone knows, it never repeats itself!

The culmination of thousands of years of calculation has gone far beyond the necessity of squaring the circle. In fact, p , as expressed to four decimal places (3.1416) is quite accurate enough for advanced engineering. Why then, has there been such an obsessive fixation to discover the end of this "never-ending" number?

The answer is simple: Mankind is imbued with an inner impulse that drives him to the door of another dimension. In their own way, all men deeply desire to touch the Creator. Perhaps there is the thought that p will open that door, at least mathematically.

When we use the word "transcendental," we are usually thinking in philosophical terms. We envision ideal constructs that surpass mere visual and auditory perception. We imagine realities so far above our own that they barely intersect our world of "reality."

To the secular scientist, p summons up the Aristotelian idea of a quantity that lies beyond the boundaries of any category.

In other words, the final determination of p is inexpressible, except as a representation of the metaphysical. Just as the full expression of p is unreachable, eternity is unreachable.

Spiritual men see the metaphysical as an expression of the Lord of Creation, who has created the heavens and earth for the purpose of bringing about a righteous kingdom of the redeemed. When the Lord touches our finite world, transcendental truths emerge. Man is incapable of fully understanding them, but instinctively knows that his destiny is in the realm of the Lord … in eternity.

The circle — simple, yet complex — is the foremost symbol of that eternity.

The Circle as a Cycle

Perhaps the circle’s main quality is its repetitive nature. It loops back upon itself endlessly, producing the idea of infinite action. In verbal expression, we speak of an imperfect thought that never resolves itself as "circular reasoning."

In human endeavor, we have the idea that "history repeats itself." That is, history is circular. Just like p , it is irrational, even transcendental. It never fully resolves itself. It awaits the resolution that can only come when a higher form of truth interposes itself upon our "real" world.

In short, the circle rolls on, in anticipation of the day when it will find its final resolution. For mortal beings, time is a circle … seen as a series of cycles that lead to a final and eternal determination.

In the scholarly methods of ancient Judaism, a link is made between the holiness of sanctified believers and cycles of growth. They teach that the nineteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet — koph — expresses the circular development of any movement toward holiness.

The letter koph is said to stand for "holiness and cycles of growth." In Hebrew, holiness is kedusha, indicating a degree of dedication and spirituality that exists on a higher level. The holiness of God is metaphysical; its full expression is inconceivable to man, even as is the case with the circle.

In The Wisdom in the Hebrew Alphabet, Rabbi Michael Munk writes about this letter as follows:

"The most obvious manifestation of God’s majesty is expressed in nature and its cycles. Therefore the Sages relate the name [koph] to [hakaph] "to go around," and [hakafa], "cycle."

"The cycles of nature — the changing seasons, the monthly renewal of the moon, the twenty-eight year solar cycle — all teach man that there is a pattern and purpose to the universe. The daily rising and setting of the sun and moon led Abraham to the realization that the world has a Creator. The seven-day week climaxing in Shabbos [Sabbath], the seven-year cycle climaxing in Shemittah (the Sabbatical year), the seven-Shemittah cycle leading to Yovel (the Jubilee year), all remind the Jew that God created the world and continues to watch over it."

Munk writes: "In this sense, hakafos, the circular ritual processions on Hoshanah Rabbah and Simchas Torah, are likewise a manifestation of God’s holiness. They have a tremendous mystical power — especially if the circling is sevenfold."

No doubt, Rabbi Munk is referring to Israelite history. In Joshua’s triumph over Jericho, the Israelites were instructed to march around the city seven times, as a demonstration of faith and obedience. Obviously, the Lord could have toppled Jericho’s walls even if the Israelites had not marched around them. But theirs was a march of faith, symbolically linking eternity with circles in time.

History of the Seven Churches

In the August through November, 1998, editions of Prophecy in the News, we wrote a series of articles showing that the word "mystery" is found twenty-two times in the New Testament. An investigation of the mysteries reveals that, taken in order, each of the mysteries conformed perfectly with the meanings of the 22 Hebrew letters.

As it happens, the mystery of the seven churches falls upon the letter koph:

"The mystery of the seven stars which thou sawest in my right hand, and the seven golden candlesticks. The seven stars are the angels of the seven churches: and the seven candlesticks which thou sawest are the seven churches" (Revelation 1:20).

The letter koph, you will recall, stands for "holiness and growth cycles," exactly conforming to the symbolism of the seven churches. Scholars have long associated each of these churches with a period of church history, saying that they represent the timeline of the church for the last twenty centuries. Beginning with the apostolic zeal of Ephesus, they culminate in the dissipation of Laodicea.

First, we’ll review the way the seven churches reveal linear history, then we will address its circular nature:

Ephesus, the church of the Apostles, is first on the list. It represents the years of the first century, from about A.D. 30 through A.D. 100. This church is commended for retaining the sound doctrine taught by the early founders of the church.

The second church is Smyrna, a church seen to be encountering tribulation and persecution. It is generally held to represent the time of Roman persecutions that ranged from about A.D. 100 through A.D. 313. The Lord praises this church for its faithful ability to endure suffering.

Third comes the church of Pergamos, the church that is seen to have intermarried with the world. It represents the period from A.D. 313 through A.D. 600, following Constan-tine’s Edict of Toleration in A.D. 312. This church is judged for allowing idolatry and despotic authority to rule its members.

The next, and fourth church is Thyatira, known as the church of the Dark Ages, from about A.D. 600 to the time of the Reformation around A.D. 1500. This church is symbolized by Jezebel, the idolatress of the Old Testament who brought pagan worship into Israel. It is counterfeit, and has introduced many false teachings. It also represents a system that will continue to exert its influence until the time of the Day of the Lord, since it is threatened with being cast into the "great tribulation" unless it repents. However, its doctrinal supremacy began to wane during the emergence of Martin Luther and the other reformers.

The fifth church is Sardis, representing the time from A.D. 1500 through A.D. 1700. This is the Reformation church that restored the doctrines of salvation by grace and justification by faith. But it did little to correct the despotic authority of church-state liaisons. Its spiritual life was severely attenuated. Though it revived the ancient doctrines of the Apostles, it was dead in spirit.

Next, comes the period of A.D. 1700 through about A.D. 1900. This is the living church that witnessed the birth and expansion of the great missionary movements. To this church was given an open door to carry the Gospel to the four corners of the earth.

The last of the seven churches is Laodicea, the wealthy and self-important apostate church. It represents the church of A.D. 1900 to the present. This church is condemned for its lukewarm self-satisfaction. Spiritually, it is blind.

The Cycle of the Seven Churches

The above timeline of church history is clear enough, but a linear history does not fully represent the idea of "growth cycles." In this view, we discover an entirely different way of seeing the seven churches.

Truly, they represent the natural cycle of church growth. It is circular, orbiting through the years in a remarkable succession of acquisition and loss. The churches can be viewed as a series of stages that are circular in nature. That is, they represent a continuing cycle that begins on a high plane, descends into dissolution and collapses into self-absorption. At that point, only a revolutionary new beginning can bring life to the spiritually dead. A new cycle then begins, as the wheel rotates through a new cycle of downfall and rising again.

This circle is illustrated in the history of the seven churches. Each of them presents a developmental stage.

Stage One: Zeal

The circle begins with the zeal of new birth, tinged with all the excitement and promise of dreams yet unrealized. This is represented by Ephesus. Its weakness is that it quickly loses its first love. In the case of the church, this refers to the love of Christ and His Word.

There is, however, a problem. For Ephesus, it manifested itself in the form of the Nicolaitans, who appeared as an authoritarian body that created a hierarchical separation between the clergy and the people. At this point in the cycle, love begins to give way to formalism.

Stage Two: Persecution

The initial zeal of the church now rotates toward the next stage. Typified by Smyrna, it meets the world’s persecution head-on. "Smyrna" means myrrh; since it is an embalming spice, it implies suffering. Separation from the support systems of the world means poverty and alienation. And so, tribulation, poverty and hunger are the marks of the church at this stage. Zeal is confronted with the world’s opposition. Stage two is now complete.

Stage Three: Yielding to the World

Opposition often batters the faithful into submission. And so it is with the third stage of the church. Pergamos exemplifies the church that has "saved" itself by compromising with the world … at last, marrying into the world while deceiving itself into believing that it has preserved its key doctrines. This period was typified by the entry of paganism into the Christian world. Christ’s deity was challenged; original sin was denied. Church hierarchy dominated the common believer. Yet there were many faithful martyrs.

Stage Four: Christianity Becomes a Religious System

Though this church has its good works, and is known for service, faith and patience, it has incorporated false teaching. Jezebel, the woman who introduced Baal worship into ancient Israel, represents debilitating religious authority. Here, she stands for the false doctrines that emanate from the concept of justification by works and the mysticism of Mariolatry … the deification of Mary.

This powerful religious system became intertwined with the state. Together, they became the rock-solid force known as the "Holy Roman Empire." But the New Testament never defines the church as a hierarchical system. Quite the opposite, it is characterized as the vital and dynamic "body of Christ."

Stage Five: Death, but Potential Revival

In this stage, the church experiences the natural death that follows institutionalization. Within it are the vital truths of Christianity, but they too, are "ready to die." Only the zeal of a few good men can revive this entombed edifice. If this church continues, it is only because of their clarion call.

Stage Six: Love Reborn

Assuming that in its preceding stage, the church has listened to the stern voices of reform, it rises to new life, recalling the initial charge bequeathed to it by the Apostles. It has revivified (or brought to life again) the power and love of the Holy Spirit, Who has come to reside in the believer. Individuals exercising the power of the Spirit in the love of Christ bring this church new hope. As a result, it is given renewed power to evangelize … an "open door." This stage is a weak reflection of the first stage’s zeal and purity.

Stage Seven: The Weight of Wealth

Sadly, the last stage of the church is wealth and its ensuing self-centeredness. Though it grew in the power of the Lord’s Spirit, this church has come to assume that its power is money, real estate and politics. It is focused upon self-aggrandizement, collapsing under its own weight, but blind to its breakdown.

In a final observation about the cyclical nature of the seven churches, we bring to mind yet another of those historical (and in this case, geographical) "coincidences." Check a map of first-century Asia Minor. In so doing, you will discover that the seven churches — beginning with Ephesus and ending with Laodicea — are laid out in circular fashion! That is, they form a rough circle that runs clockwise on the map as you count the churches in order.

Surely, this is not coincidence. All seven lie near Asia Minor’s west coast. This was the "jumping-off place," where the Gospel sprang from the Middle East into the Western world of the Roman Empire … and beyond. The grand cycle began there and continues today, encircling the entire world.

In the foregoing seven stages, we see the development of a remarkable picture. Taken together, they represent the pattern of the ages … the road toward completed faith that is marked by downfall and rising again.

The Wheel of Life and Death

The plain truth is that the seven churches depict a grand cycle. On a microcosmic level, every local church has the potential of going through these stages. From initial excitement through final, bloated collapse, the pattern is seen again and again. This cycle begins with life and ends with death, only to be born again to a new cycle of life.

Zeal (Ephesus), is opposed by evil (Smyrna), and is infiltrated by false doctrine (Pergamos). Finally, it is overwhelmed by a cabal of evil men who are on the verge of capturing it in totality. But the faint voices of the few (Sardis), in the power of the Spirit, breath new life into the dead entity and it lives again (Philadelphia), only to grow fat, wither and die (Laodicea). In the age of the church, This cycle has repeated itself thousands of times, and will do so again, and again … and again.

This is an ancient spiritual truth that was acknowledged in Jewish teaching long before the birth of the church. Rabbi Munk alludes to this in the following statement:

"The meal before the onset of the Tishah B’av [Fast of the 9th of Av] traditionally includes an egg dipped in ashes. The egg is used to symbolize mourning because its roundness signifies the turning of the ‘wheel of life’ by Divine Providence, which can change a day of mourning into a day of festivity, and transform the destruction of the Temple into its reconstruction. For the same reason an egg is offered to the bereaved after a funeral to indicate nechamah, consolation that, after the sadness of the loss, joy will yet set in again.

"On Simchas Torah [rejoicing in the Torah], as soon as the annual cycle of the Torah-portions is concluded, a new cycle is begun. The new beginning signifies that the joy of Torah lies fundamentally not in its recitation as such, as in the constantly renewed acceptance of the Torah."

In the entire panoply of spiritual endeavor, we see the repetitive movement of the grand cycle of faith. Faith begins with Adam, withers in the world of Cain, is reborn in Noah, wanes in the idolatry of Nimrod. Then it rises again in Abraham, only to die in Egyptian bondage. It rises once again in Moses, only to die in the sinful world of the Judges. It rises in David and Solomon, then dies in the Assyrian and Babylonian captivities. It comes to a pinnacle in Christ, only to fall in the Dark ages. It rises in the Reformation and missionary movements only to die again in the apostasy of the latter-day world system.

In the larger view, the wheel turns from Adam to Christ to the Kingdom. Widening our view even farther, we see time-space represented as the cycle that begins with Paradise, descends into the battle of this world, then rises again to Paradise.

Thus, time-space can be viewed as a series of circles. Observation of this important fact was no doubt, behind Solomon’s classic observation:

"The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

"Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us" (Ecclesiastes 1:9,10).

The Circle Is Transcendental

In previous studies, we have observed that the Hebrew alphabet is reflective of the Bible’s theme of creation and redemption. The Word spoke all creation into existence. Jewish teaching says that the Word is formed by the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

But the 22 letters are, themselves, a grand cycle, not only for the church, but for each individual, and indeed, the entire cosmos! There is no better demonstration of this than the pattern found in Psalm 119. Its 176 verses are laid out in groups of eight verses, each beginning with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Together, they comprise a grand, acrostic circle.

Each of the eight-verse sections demonstrates the spiritual character and meaning of its respective letter. Thus aleph — the letter of creation — begins the walk of the spiritual man:

"ALEPH. Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the LORD" (Psalm 119:1).

As we move along the spiritual pathway with this blessed man, we quickly discover that his way is complex. It leads to completed righteousness in the world to come. But along the way, he suffers doubt, insult, tribulation and affliction, as in the following verse, found at the middle of the alphabet in the nun section. This letter, of course, illustrates the difficulty of maintaining faith:

"I am afflicted very much: quicken me, O LORD, according unto thy word" (Psalm 119:107).

The final verse of this psalm shows without question that David’s epochal work represents the grand cycle of faith. Instead of bringing the blessed man to eternal truth and perfection (seen in the final letter, tahv), it turns back to the beginning of the alphabet, where once again, he moves step-by-step toward eternal righteousness:

"I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments" (Psalm 119:176).

Even at the end of his march, the spiritual man begs the help of the Lord in finding his way. Like all men of faith, he comes to the end of himself, beginning the cycle once again at creation, moving through the predictable circle of difficulty, but supported by the love of the Lord.

In short, the alphabetic pattern of redemption is a circle. Like all circles everywhere, it is unresolved; it is transcendental. Like the Greek letter p that stands for the ratio between the circumference and diameter of a circle, it is infinite.

It moves toward the dimension of the Lord. Only there, will it find its final realization. Only in eternity will the circle finally be squared. It is interesting to observe that, in Scripture, the Kingdom is represented by the number four, typical of the square. Rationality, in the person of the Lord, will finally bring the cycles of human endeavor to resolution.

For us, the Word of Creation — the Lord Jesus Christ — is the focus of eternity. He is, if you will, the center of the circle of time and the answer to the mathematical irrationality that has plagued theorists and philosophers since man began to build his pyramids and towers.

As we stated at the beginning of this article, the structures of mankind were merely efforts at solving the problem of separation from God. The Tower of Babel could never have literally reached to heaven, as Scripture proclaims was their goal: "Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven …" (Genesis 11:4).

That is, earthly structures of brick and stone can only go so high. But it is the design of the tower (and of all the ancient pyramids), incorporating sacred geometry that would reach the metaphysical heavens. It is a fact, that the ancient pagan cultures all pursued forms of sacred mathematics, with which they hoped to discover the treasures of eternity.

More importantly, they sought (and still seek) the mathematical key to eternity and immortality. As we have seen, the pursuit of the transcendental number p has gone far beyond the refinement necessary to square the circle in practical endeavors. Yet man has still failed to resolve it.

Which brings us to a final point. The book of Revelation plainly answers all the philosophers’ questions. And, in so doing, it also squares the circle!

A Revelation in Revelation

The metaphysical tower so desired by the ancients is completed in the structure built by the Lord, Himself. It is the New Jerusalem, the eternal residence of the saints – a building that incorporates structural and metaphysical perfection:

"And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal" (Revelation 21:16).

It is based upon the square, but like the book of Revelation, itself, must incorporate the mathematical truths that are exclusively available to the Creator. It is "foursquare," representing the eternal kingdom. Beyond that, little is said about its shape. Is it a cube, perhaps within a sphere? Is it a pyramid, or something more exotic? Whatever its true shape, it must perfectly resolve the circle as well as the square. Here, time-space intersects eternity.

As we have already mentioned, Revelation begins with the cyclical mystery of the Seven Churches. They illustrate both the linear and circular form of time-space.

Revelation Reveals

Following these letters to the historical churches, the book of Revelation is devoted to the judgment of the world system. It is most interesting that the structure of the book is laid out in three sets of seven — seven seals, trumpets, and seven vials.

But Revelation is outlined by the number 22. This is the total number of its chapters. It is a simple mathematical fact that this number — corresponding to the letters in the Hebrew alphabet — (Can we call it the circumference?), when divided by seven (Is it the diameter?), results in a very close approximation of p !

22¸7 = 3.14

And incidentally, the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet reflect the same truth. They may be divided as three sets of seven, plus the final tahv , the letter of "truth and perfection." Even the alphabet … the Word of Creation … squares the circle, and illustrates the truth of eternity.

Over two centuries ago, when Leonhard Euler declared that p is a transcendental number, he could scarcely have conceived the philosophical depth of his statement. Nor could he have imagined the super computers that, today, reveal the magnificent truth of the circle. Indeed, it is transcendental.

Christ is the center of all things. Only He is capable of finally squaring the circle.

We are not saying that certain prophecies must be concluded in 2005, but that the process of fulfillment seems to be under development. Just how much of the psalm contains prophetic implications that might be fulfilled in 2005, we cannot say. But we will be watching, knowing that our Lord’s return must be very near.

To begin our study, we should note that David composed this psalm and delivered it to his musicians on the occasion of bringing the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. Rabbi Avrohom Chiam Feuer, writing in the Tehillim (his Jewish commentary on the Psalms) writes:

"This psalm was composed on the day King David brought the Holy Ark from its temporary quarters in the home of Obed Edom to the holy city of Jerusalem, where it was installed with great ceremony and honor ... The Levites sang Psalm 105 each morning and Psalm 96 each evening while the Holy Ark was housed in a temporary tent in Jerusalem" (Tehillim, p. 1296).

When Solomon built the Temple and the Ark was placed in its permanent abode, a perpetual order of songs was established. These were the Songs of the Day which were related to the days of the week and to each special festival" (Tehillim, p. 1269).

In our book, Hidden Prophecies in the Psalms, we observed that Psalms 73-89 seems to allude to David’s processional for bringing the Ark to Jerusalem for the first time. Psalms 73-83 were written by Asaph, the leader of the processional; Psalms 84, 85, 87, and 88 were written for the sons of Korah, those chosen to carry the Ark; Psalm 86 seems to allude to the Ark, as it is situated in the midst of the psalms dedicated to those who carried the Ark. Also, Psalm 86 was written by David, the one who accompanied the Ark. Psalm 88 was written by Heman; and Psalm 89 was written by Ethan. These were the men in charge of the Ark’s processional.

Furthermore, during the years of 1973-1989, in what seems like a compliance with Psalms 73-89, Israel built the Jerusalem Great Synagogue as "the first worldwide house of worship since the Temple was destroyed;" turned its attention toward the Temple Mount; established a priesthood; compiled a list of over a thousand names of Levites who qualified for the office of High Priest; organized the Temple Institute; and built the implements necessary for establishing Temple liturgy. Rumors surfaced in 1986 that Israel had retrieved the Ark from Ethiopia and is presently keeping it under wraps.

However, though many events occurred during the years 1973-1989 that were necessary for the establishment of Temple worship, as yet, the actual sanctuary has not been erected.

We also noted that Psalm 96 was sung on the day of the Ark procession, and yet, no sanctuary was raised in 1996. Now we have come to the final Ark psalm. Does this mean that plans for a Jewish temple could be in the making this year? Or will something happen in Israeli/Palestinian negotiations to pave the way for Jewish worship on the Temple Mount? We know that the establishment of such a sanctuary was predicted when the Tribulation Period gets underway.

Now, let us review the Psalm:

Psalm 105

The first fifteen verses in Psalm 105 established the historical background of the Chosen People through Abraham. They are the heirs of his divine covenant. These verses comprise the song composed on the day of the Ark’s processional to Jerusalem. Read I Chronicles 16:8-22, then compare them with these verses in Psalm 105:

"O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.

"Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him: talk ye of all his wondrous works.

"Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.

"Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore.

"Remember his marvelous works that he hath done; his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth"
(Ps. 105:1-5).

David calls upon all of the people who attended the Ark’s processional to give honor to the Ark and to proclaim the greatness of God among the "nations" (not just among the "people," as the KJV puts it). He calls out to the Jews to tell the Gentiles just how wonderful and great is the Lord. Prophetically, it is important for the world to know that the Jews in modern Israel are the actual descendents of Abraham, and the recipients of the Abrahamic covenant.

Particularly, David calls upon the attendees to give honor to the Ark of the Covenant as it approaches Jerusalem. We do not know if the whereabouts of the Ark will be announced this coming year, but if so, such a thing would certainly be appropriate with these opening verses.

Bear in mind, however, there is still one more psalm (106) yet to go before all four hallelujahs are recited. Essentially, David is saying that the people should honor the Ark, but worship the Lord of the Abrahamic covenant . In this case, he seems to be referring to the Abrahamic covenant (Grace), rather than the Mosaic covenant (Law).

The Covenant with Abraham

The following reference to Abraham and Jacob during the Ark processional demonstrates that God excluded the offspring of Ishmael and the progeny of Esau.

"O ye seed of Abraham his servant, ye children of Jacob his chosen.

"He is the LORD our God: his judgments are in all the earth.

"He hath remembered his covenant for ever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations.

"Which covenant he made with Abraham, and his oath unto Isaac;

"And confirmed the same unto Jacob for a law, and to Israel for an everlasting covenant"
(Ps. 105:6-10).

Does it not seem strange that David would call attention to the Abrahamic covenant, while singing a song that draws attention to the Ark that held the Mosaic covenant? But in verse 10, David explains the concept of the two covenants, as seen in the names of Jacob and Israel — two names of the same man. Jacob, meaning "supplanter," seems to refer to the natural man, while Israel, meaning "prince with God," seems to aspire to the nobler and more spiritual aspects of Jacob’s children. David writes that the Abrahamic covenant was confirmed to the earthly Jacob in the form of a binding law. But to the spiritual nature of the Chosen People, the Abrahamic covenant became an everlasting covenant — offering eternal life.

We can only conclude that Law is inferior to Grace. The Abrahamic covenant preceded the Mosaic covenant by some 500 years, yet was set aside until the "death of the Testator" (Hebrews 9:16). Only then was it activated. Until then, the people languished under the curses of the Law.

Watching Over Abraham

To the imperfect Jacob, God promised the Holy Land. As the following verse implies, it is not to be given to establish a Palestinian state. The land is reserved for Israel.

"Saying, Unto thee will I give the land of Canaan, the lot of your inheritance:

"When they were but a few men in number; yea, very few, and strangers in it.

"When they went from one nation to another, from one kingdom to another people;

"He suffered no man to do them wrong: yea, he reproved kings for their sakes;

"Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm"
(Ps. 105:11-15).

David gives a reference to Israel’s sojourn in Egypt, and by implication, to all future exiles and promises that God will punish any nation who attempts to harm the Jews. In his book, Eye to Eye, William Koenig cites several instances where natural disasters or major catastrophes have befallen the United States within 24 to 48 hours after our president applied pressure on Israel to trade her land for promises of "peace and security," sponsored major "land for peace" meetings, or made a major public statement pertaining to Israel’s covenant land and/or calling for a Palestinian state.

Will this coming year witness another judgment upon the United States? Will our president continue to press Israel to go along with his proposal for a Palestinian state? Will he bring the judgment of God down upon us once again?

We must remember that God said, "Touch not mine anointed!" If God has reproved kings in the past, will He let us get by with bringing harm to Israel? I think not! These are the words that attended the Ark on its journey to Jerusalem.

Therefore, it is possible that the Ark of the Covenant will once again become an object of Israel’s destiny.

Watching Over Joseph

The remaining verses in this chapter were not part of the song that accompanied the Ark. But they do continue the historical account of God’s Chosen People and their relationship to the Messiah. To begin with, David tells the story of Joseph’s rejection and later acceptance as Israel’s redeemer. Its prophetic overtones are clear. Joseph was the epitome of Jesus, once rejected. But the story of Jesus is not over. Someday, He will return as the royal Redeemer of Israel:

"Moreover he called for a famine upon the land: he brake the whole staff of bread.

"He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant:

"Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron:

"Until the time that his word came: the word of the LORD tried him.

"The king sent and loosed him; even the ruler of the people, and let him go free.

"He made him lord of his house, and ruler of all his substance:

"To bind his princes at his pleasure; and teach his senators wisdom"
(Psalm 105:16-22).

Joseph put his brothers through several tests. First, he bound them in prison for three days (Gen 42:17). Then he put Simeon in bonds and sent the brothers back to fetch Benjamin. Later, he arrested them again and claimed that he would keep Benjamin as his servant. Thoroughly discouraged, they begged his forgiveness. Judah offered to take Benjamin’s place in servitude. All the while, they did not know that the governor of Egypt was their own rejected Joseph! All this was done to teach them "wisdom" (v. 22). This depth of despair turned out to be for their own good. Joseph revealed himself and redeemed the entire family. This story was a prophetic scenario that is about to reach its wonderful conclusion with the revelation of Jesus Christ!

Watching Over Jacob

Joseph brought Jacob and the entire family out of their famine-infested land and gave them the best that Egypt had to offer — the land of Goshen:

"Israel also came into Egypt; and Jacob sojourned in the land of Ham.

"And he increased his people greatly; and made them stronger than their enemies.

"He turned their heart to hate his people, to deal subtilly with his servants"
(Ps. 105:23-25).

The story of Joseph offers a prophetic scenario of the Chosen People, who, in the last century have returned to the land of their forefathers. God has increased them greatly and made them stronger than their enemies. Meanwhile, the world has grown to hate the Jews.

As we read further in this psalm, the story of redemption through Joseph takes on a wider significance in the story of Moses.

Watching Over Moses

The story of Israel’s final redemption can be seen in God’s judgment upon Egypt in the days of Moses:

"He sent Moses his servant; and Aaron whom he had chosen.

"They shewed his signs among them, and wonders in the land of Ham"
(Ps. 105:26,27).

Just as David explained, the Abrahamic covenant was confirmed to sinful "Jacob" through the Law, under the leadership of Moses. But to the future more spiritual "Israel," Moses becomes a prophetic type of Christ; the plagues upon Egypt become a prophetic scenario of the judgments of the Tribulation Period; and the millennial kingdom fulfills the "everlasting covenant" (v. 10).

Here is the list of the plagues. While reading them, think of the judgments given in the book of Revelation. They are remarkably similar:

"He sent darkness, and made it dark; and they rebelled not against his word.

"He turned their waters into blood, and slew their fish.

"Their land brought forth frogs in abundance, in the chambers of their kings.

"He spake, and there came divers sorts of flies, and lice in all their coasts.

"He gave them hail for rain, and flaming fire in their land.

"He smote their vines also and their fig trees; and brake the trees of their coasts.

"He spake, and the locusts came, and caterpillers, and that without number,

"And did eat up all the herbs in their land, and devoured the fruit of their ground.

"He smote also all the firstborn in their land, the chief of all their strength"
(Ps. 105:28-36).

These judgments are not likely to occur in 2005, but are stored in God’s arsenal for future deployment. With these judgments, Moses led the Chosen People out of Egypt, headed for the Promised Land. All of the suffering and hardship of the years of bondage served to strengthen the people and give them the courage to leave. What appeared evil, turned out to be good for the people of God.

Watching Over the Exodus

"He brought them forth also with silver and gold: and there was not one feeble person among their tribes.

"Egypt was glad when they departed: for the fear of them fell upon them.

"He spread a cloud for a covering; and fire to give light in the night.

"The people asked, and he brought quails, and satisfied them with the bread of heaven.

"He opened the rock, and the waters gushed out; they ran in the dry places like a river.

"For he remembered his holy promise, and Abraham his servant.

"And he brought forth his people with joy, and his chosen with gladness:

"And gave them the lands of the heathen: and they inherited the labour of the people;

"That they might observe his statutes, and keep his laws. Praise ye the LORD"
(Ps. 105:37-45).

When the children of Israel left Egypt, they took a bounty of silver and gold. Rabbinic literature reported that the lowliest among them brought ninety asses laden with silver and gold. Remarkably, there was no sickness among them as they left. David tells us that God gave them temperate climate, food to eat, and water to drink — not for a day or week, but for forty years. To all of that, David concludes with "hallelujah!"

David concludes Psalm 105 with Hallelujah and immedi-ately opens Psalm 106 with the same word, Hallelujah—"Praise ye the Lord." Psalm 106 "… resumes the narrative and relates how God miraculously sustained the Jews as they wandered in the wilderness for forty years" (Tehillim, vol. II, p. 1285).

Psalm 105 reminds Israel of the Abrahamic Covenant—God’s oath to give them the Promised Land and declares, "He [God] hath remembered his covenant" (Psalm 105:8).

The number 105 is made up of e "koph" and v "hay." As "kawhaw," meaning "to be blunted," we are reminded of Isa-iah’s prophecy, "... they shall beat their swords into plow-shares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more" (Isaiah 2:4). As "kawhal," meaning "assembly, congregation, multitude," we are reminded of the group of nations who will be judged and of those who will inherit the new kingdom of Christ (Gesenius’Lexicon, p. 726).

Most of the prophecies in this psalm will see its ultimate fulfillment at the Second Coming of Christ. It certainly appears that we must be near.

Just above the shepherd’s fields, northeast of modern Bethlehem, lays the ruins of ancient Bethlehem Ephratah. According to Moshe Bronstein, Israeli archeologist, this site can only be called "an alternative site" for the birth of Christ, because of the official site in the Church of the Nativity.

Bronstein said that in 1981, a mosaic tile inscription, written in Greek, was found in the ruins (pictured above) that revealed, "Christ was born here." Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, the inscription disappeared and no one knows what happened to it.

Dr. Carl Baugh, president of Creation Evidence Museum, Glen Rose, Texas, is currently excavating this site. When first approached by Moshe Bronstein, Dr. Baugh was offered the opportunity to excavate his choice of several sites in Israel. He chose to excavate at the site of the "tower of the flock."

The Tower of the Flock

When Bronstein asked him why he wanted to dig there, Dr. Baugh said that he believed Christ was born at the "tower of the flock" — rather than in the cave beneath the Church of the Nativity.

There is a verse in the book of Micah that speaks of this tower:

"And thou, O tower of the flock, the strong hold of the daughter of Zion, unto thee shall it come, even the first dominion; the kingdom shall come to the daughter of Jerusalem"

Over the years, many biblical scholars associated Rachel’s tomb with the "tower of the flock." Following that traditional thinking, Dr. Baugh asked that he might be able to dig at Rachel’s tomb. Bronstein told him that Rachel’s tomb was not the site for the ancient tower.

Instead, Bronstein told him about the site pictured above. Israeli archeologists believe this was the site of the famous tower. They also believe this was Bethlehem Ephratah, the home of Boaz.

The broken millstone pictured above and on the front cover is believed to be at the threshingfloor of Boaz, the place where Ruth came and laid down at his feet, as told in Ruth 3:7. About 100 yards from here is a well that Israeli archeologists think was David’s well.

What makes the "tower of the flock" so important, is that it was the place where the Temple sacrifices were proven. Bethlehem was famous for its sheep and goats — the animals used for Temple sacrifices. The "tower of the flock" was thought to be the inspection station for the sacrificial animals.

Dr. Carl Baugh

Behind the door, the archeologists found three underground chambers, and surmised that they were used for inspecting the sacrificial animals. They also found the mosaic tile inscription previously mentioned, saying that it was the birthplace of Jesus.

It seems reasonable that Joseph and Mary would have come to their family’s ancestral home, hoping that the Savior would be born in the place where David was born. The archeologists are also convinced that they have found the ruins of an inn about forty yards up the hill.

They also found the remains of a fourth-century Byzantine Church. It stands to reason that a church would be built here if this place was a significant site. In the years following Constantine’s "Edict of Toleration," churches were built on all the holy sites throughout Israel, in an effort to preserve the sites.

However, in the seventh century, Moslems overran the Holy Land and destroyed many churches. At the sites deemed significant to Judaism, the Moslems built mosques. This place, once thought to be a holy site in the fourth century, was forgotten. It lay in ruins for 1,600 years.

Not much is known about the "tower of the flock," called "migdal edar" in Hebrew. In Genesis 35:19-21, we are told that Jacob buried Rachel "in the way to Ehhrath, which is Bethlehem," set a pillar upon her grave, and "spread his tent beyond the tower of Edar [tower of the flock]."

Centuries later, the royal family of Judah lived there and made the tower a place for recruiting sacrifices for the Temple.

Luke’s gospel takes us to the shepherd’s fields in the wide valley below this tower:

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone around about them: and they were sore afraid.

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.

"And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger"

It is said that the priesthood would come to the "tower of the flock," about four or five days after Rosh Hashanah, and select two goats for the sacrifice of the Day of Atonement. They would keep them there for four days, feeding them and bedding them down in a gauze-like cloth — like the swaddling cloth in which the Savior was wrapped

16

How the irrational argue

by Vormek2.8 in

jw
friends

conservative: what about puerto rico?

all im saying is that the usa has fifty states!

conservative: and washington!

Vormek2.8

Liberal: The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: No, it doesn’t.

Liberal: Yes, it does. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: What about Guam? What about that Guam, huh? Or the Virgin Islands?

Liberal: Those are territories, not states. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: Oh, so you’re saying those don’t count?

Liberal: Yes.

Conservative: Oh, so the people there don’t count? They’re not good enough, huh? I thought you liberals wanted everybody to be counted.

Liberal: No, I said the territories don’t count as states. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: You’re really something, you know that? You liberals are always going on about how all of us conservatives are racists, how we don’t care about anybody but people who look like us. But you don’t even want to count the blacks who live in Guam as Americans.

Liberal: First of all, I never said all conservatives are racists.

Conservative: Yes, you did.

Liberal: No, I didn’t.

Conservative: Michael Moore says it.

Liberal: I’ve never heard him say that.

Conservative: Yes, he does! He most definitely does!

Liberal: Look, I don’t know what he says. That’s beside the point. And the people in Guam “count,” whatever that means. I don’t even know who lives in Guam; I don’t know the first thing about Guam. I’m just saying Guam isn’t a state – it’s a territory. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: What about Puerto Rico?

Liberal: What?

Conservative: What about Puerto Rico, huh? You love all those Mexicans coming across the border stealing our jobs – you must LOVE Puerto Rico, right?

Liberal: I’ve never been to Puerto Rico.

Conservative: Well, I have, and those kind of people would be pretty offended to hear liberals like you saying they aren’t real Americans!

Liberal: I didn’t say that!

Conservative: You said they didn’t count!

Liberal: I didn’t say that either! No, wait, just wait… (takes deep breath). I only said the USA has fifty states. Puerto Rico isn’t a state – it’s a commonwealth.

Conservative: And they don’t speak English!

Liberal: Well, many Puerto Ricans do.

Conservative: How do you know that? I’ve been there – you haven’t!

Liberal: All right, OK, fine, whatever. But the USA has fifty states.

Conservative: Well, I say Puerto Rico counts.

Liberal: Fine, but not as a state.

Conservative: Well, that’s YOUR opinion.

Liberal: It’s not my opinion – it’s a fact.

Conservative: Says you!

Liberal: No, not just “says me.” It’s a fact. Look it up.

Conservative: I don’t have time.

Liberal: You don’t have time to find out if the USA has fifty states?

Conservative: Listen, you may have time to sit around all day surfing on your liberal websites, downloading Michael Moore, but I’ve got things to do.

Liberal: Like reading about blacks in Guam and Mexicans in Puerto Rico?

Conservative: See, that’s why you guys always lose. I’m trying to have a nice conversation, and you just keep up with the insults!

Liberal: Listen, I didn’t mean to insult you.

Conservative: Oh, yes you did!

Liberal: No, look, I’m sorry, OK? I didn’t mean to insult you. Honestly. It’s just that… well, the USA has fifty states. That’s a fact. And I’m just trying to state a fact, and you’re getting very defensive, and…

Conservative: Oh, so now I’m defensive.

Liberal: Well…

Conservative: You just said you weren’t going to insult me!

Liberal: Look, I’m just trying to say the USA has fifty states!

Conservative: According to YOUR sources!

Liberal: MY sources?! What are you talking about? Look it up!

Conservative: I told you, I don’t have time to spend all day cruising the internet, looking up geography questions! Maybe if you were busier at your job, trying to live the American Dream, you wouldn’t have time for all this hate!

Liberal: I work hard at my job!

Conservative: Then why are you spending all day downloading Michael Moore?

Liberal: I don’t spend all day downloading Michael Moore! I don’t even know what you mean by that! All I’m saying is that the USA has fifty states!

Conservative: Again, according to YOU!

Liberal: Not just me! Here, here’s the World Book Encyclopedia. Look it up – it’s fifty states!

Conservative: Oh, sure, the World Book! Yeah, like I’m going to believe the World Book!

Liberal: What?

Conservative: Come on, it’s a liberal rag!

Liberal: (Long, teeth-gnashing pause) Look, just look up “United States of America.” Ten bucks it says, “the USA has fifty states.”

Conservative: Ten bucks, huh?

Liberal: Yeah, ten bucks. (pause) Wait, that’s the “M” volume.

Conservative: I know.

Liberal: You need to look under “U” for “United States.”

Conservative: I’m not looking for “United States.” I’m looking for “Moore, Michael.”

Liberal: What?!

Conservative: And when I find a big glowing article about him, you’re going to owe me ten bucks!

Liberal: Why would I owe you ten bucks?!

Conservative: You bet me ten bucks that the World Book Encyclopedia isn’t liberal.

Liberal: No I didn’t!

Conservative: Yes, you did! You bet me ten bucks that I couldn’t find a liberal article in the World Book. So when I find Michael Moore’s picture, you owe me ten bucks!

Liberal: Oh, my lord…

Conservative: AHA!

Liberal: Listen, you idiot, just because you found Michael Moore’s picture in the World Book doesn’t mean that I owe you ten bucks! It doesn’t mean the World Book is a liberal encyclopedia! And it certainly doesn’t mean the USA doesn’t have fifty states!!

Conservative: Oh, no? Look at this!

Liberal: (pause) “Massachusetts”?

Conservative: Bingo!

Liberal: What the hell does Massachusetts have to do with anything?

Conservative: The COMMONWEALTH of Massachusetts!

Liberal: So?

Conservative: So you said Puerto Rico is a commonwealth!

Liberal: Oh, no…

Conservative: You ADMITTED Puerto Rico was a commonwealth! Admit it, you said it!

Liberal: Oh, man…

Conservative: So if Massachusetts is a commonwealth, and Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, then they BOTH must be states! HA!

Liberal: OK, look…

Conservative: You owe me twenty bucks!

Liberal: What?

Conservative: Come one, pay up! Twenty bucks, let’s go!

Liberal: I don’t owe you twenty bucks!

Conservative: And I’m not even counting Pennsylvania!

Liberal: Pennsylvania?

Conservative: That’s a commonwealth, too!

Liberal: It’s a commonwealth, but…

Conservative: And Washington!

Liberal: All right, look, I lived in Seattle – Washington is NOT a commonwealth!

Conservative: Seattle’s not even a state – it’s a city!

Liberal: Yes, it’s a city, in Washington State! Washington’s a state!

Conservative: I’m talking about Washington D.C.

Liberal: What?

Conservative: Washington D.C. It’s a city.

Liberal: I know what it is!

Conservative: Well, you liberals are always going on about “Statehood for Washington!” Which, you admit, is already a state!

Liberal: Washington D.C. is not a state!

Conservative: Washington State is!

Liberal: You just said Washington D.C.!

Conservative: And you said it should be a state!

Liberal: I never said that! I mean, it should be… but I never…look…

Conservative: Should Washington be a state?

Liberal: Well…

Conservative: Simple question.

Liberal: Washington State?

Conservative: Yes or No?

Liberal: Washington State or Washington D.C.?

Conservative: Right.

(Long pause)

Conservative: He snorts cocaine.

(Long, painful pause)

Liberal: (slowly) This is Washington D.C. you’re talking about.

Conservative: Yeah. The mayor snorts cocaine.

Liberal: Actually, he’s no longer the mayor…

Conservative: I don’t think a state should have a governor who’s used drugs.

Liberal: He’s not the governor; Washington’s not a…

Conservative: Except maybe California.

Liberal: OK, OK, stop for a moment…

Conservative: I mean, that was a long time ago…

Liberal: Listen, listen…

Conservative: I don’t see Michael Moore making any movies about cocaine in Washington State, do you?

Liberal: Please, STOP!

(pause)

Liberal: Look, I’m just trying to make a simple point here…

Conservative: What about…

Liberal: STOP!!!

(long pause)

Liberal: I’m just trying to make a SIMPLE point here. It’s not a big deal – it’s just a fact. The USA has fifty states. That’s all! Yes, Puerto Rico is a commonwealth, but it isn’t counted among the fifty states. Yes, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania are commonwealths too. So are Virginia and, I think, Kentucky. I don’t know about Kentucky for sure, and you know what – it doesn’t matter! They’re considered states, OK? They’re states. Washington D.C. isn’t one, even though I wish it was. Guam isn’t one. There are only fifty. Fifty states. Fifty stars on the flag – fifty states. That’s all. Fifty.

(long pause)

Conservative: Rush is so right about you people.

Liberal: Huh?

Conservative: Rush. He gets it. You people are the worst.

Liberal: I don’t…

Conservative: Here I am, trying to have an honest political discussion, and all you can do is bring up this liberal claptrap! You call people like Rush racists, but you don’t want to count Mexicans as Americans. You insult the Governor of California every chance you get. You get all your information from encyclopedias and Michael Moore. You want free cocaine in Washington, and you want Seattle to become a commonwealth, and you won’t pay me my fifty dollars even after I proved that blacks run Guam! And then, worst of all, you insult our flag and our troops!!! You disgust me!

Liberal: Good-bye.

Conservative: See, there you liberals go again! Sneaking off to download porn from Kentucky! I’m not forgetting you owe me 100 dollars!

(pause)

Conservative: That’s it, cut and run!

(long pause)

Conservative: Why do you hate America?

-Ellington

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