REM, the Bible spoke of people like you.
2 Peter 3:3,5-7 For you know this first, that in the last days there will come ridiculers with their ridicule, proceeding according to their own desires... For, according to their wish, this fact escapes their notice, that there were heavens from of old and an earth standing compactly out of water and in the midst of water by the word of God; and by those [means] the world of that time suffered destruction when it was deluged with water. But by the same word the heavens and the earth that are now are stored up for fire and are being reserved to the day of judgment and of destruction of the ungodly men.
Matthew 24:11,12 And many false prophets will arise and mislead many; and because of the increasing of lawlessness the love of the greater number will cool off.
What makes your situation worse is that you know the truth and yet you consciously reject it. I hope for your sake and those who love and care about you that are faithfully serving Jehovah that you turn from your wicked and apostate course and once again find spiritual refreshment among God's people.