We should try and drive by a kh on a meeting night to get a better idea of what the numbers really are. Would that be an accurate way to go about it without actually stepping foot in a kh? I'm assuming they are not all driving together for meetings.
Posts by carla
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22Here is your typical Kingdom Hall of Jehovah'w Witnesses attendance!
by RULES & REGULATIONS in.
kingdom hall south dakota live stream.....i found this video on youtube.com.
it reminds me of my old kingdom hall where hardly anyone is sitting in the front rows and doesn't seem like they have a large membership.most kingdom halls sit around 200 people at the most and seem to have a hard time filling the seats.. my old congregation had around 45 members when i left 4 years ago.we always seemed to have a hard time meeting the monthly expenses.some months,i was told that some elders would contribute extra money so the congregation would not be in the negative for the month.. how many members did your congregation have while you were still attending and did meet its expenses for the month?.
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carla
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18
Love for the Hate
by IronSharpensIron ini just wanted to share a perspective related to my experience with leaving the jw.
at this point, i have been df'd since i was 18. i'm 25, happily married with 2 fantastic children.
after being miserably at odds with my parents and extended family, i've come to some realizations as follows.. i struggled with the conditional nature of my parent's love- talking to me until it bothered their conscience, then cutting me off.
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carla
While I can applaud your effort to take the high road and act in love, my worry would be your innocent children. Personally I think it unhealthy for children to have to come to the knowledge and experience of the very conditional yo-yo love of jw grandparents. Today grandma/pa love them, tomorrow? who knows what the borg will require. Should a child be required to live by the rules of this cult even if they are not members themselves? or do/will you explain it as a mental illness of sorts or go into how cults work? I am truly asking not being sarcastic.
Families are or should be package deals, warts and all. We all have our faults but if my kids are threatened either physically, mentally, spiritually or sexually, look out, this mama bear will not stand for it. Just my take. I can say this because I went to extreme lengths to protect my kids and that of family members from my own jw, who I do love very much. We all love him, but will not tolerate any jw shenanigans. Things are better now and luckily all the little ones have grown up and know the dangers of the jw's from me, books, their own churches and their own research.
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22
The Timing of Telling My Parents My College Plans.
by WeatherLover ini know that at some point i have to tell my parents that i'm planning to go to college.
i basically have two options:.
1. tell them early.
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carla
If you are going to tell them sooner rather than later have a back up plan. Do you have a worldly friend you can confide in? maybe their family will allow you to finish out your high school career in their home? your parents are still financially responsible for you until you are 18. Do you have any non jw family?
If you currently work, take care to keep your funds safe. I have heard of jw mom's stealing kids money on a few occasions just to make life more difficult and make the young adult more dependent on mom & dad.
Wishing you all the best, you are in a tough spot.
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Thank You Stephanie Fessler
by jwleaks instephanie, just a warm thank you for going public and allowing us to look into your personal and private life.
congratulations on your victory.
in a better world there would be no need to pursue such a cause, therefore congrats are tempered with unfortunate reality.
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carla
JW Leaks said it all. Thank you for coming forward and wishing you a successful life filled with much happiness going forward.
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26
Hit by a car evacuating due to oroville dam. Ever been hit?
by Wasanelder Once inwent back to get info from driver who tapped our car in line of cars exiting the area.
after getting her info, she waited till i walked back to our car and punched the gas, hitting me.
then drove off.
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carla
Wishing you a speedy recovery!
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102
Day 2 - Fessler vs. Watchtower – Thomas Jefferson Jr takes the stand in Jehovah’s Witness Child Abuse Trial
by darkspilver inday two (wednesday 8 february 2017).
see also posts and threads regarding: pre-trial / day one / day one update / day five (last day, settlement).
jefferson: not totally.. zeff: okay.
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carla
unbelievable, I wish this would make national mainstream media!
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The sly tactics the elders are using to malign my name!
by stuckinarut2 ini have had it confirmed now, that since stopping attending over 18 months ago, the elders have set out to deliberately ruin my name and character .. they have been talking to every witness from the local area and saying things like "be careful of him, he has the ability to implant thoughts in your minds, and he only pretends to be kind and caring".
so, all i have to say to them is, "bravo!
if that is the method you want to employ, you have reached the very depths of bad behaviour!".
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carla
""be careful of him, he has the ability to implant thoughts in your minds"- can you teach me?
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18
Reopenmind is having a brithday tomorrow
by Still Totally ADD inhappy brithday my dear wife.
what a lucky man i am to have you as my life mate.
i am so happy we are free from this damm cult.
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carla
Happy Birthday!
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31
I need some advice please
by JaMu ini am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.
most of the relationship has been long distance.
when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.
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carla
Lots of real advice here. You can also search for ubm (unbelieving mate) threads on this site to see what a ubm has to go through when married to a jw.
You seem a bit upset about not getting Valentines from your so called sweetie? Along with no birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and Easter they don't do Valentines Day either. Thanksgiving can be a crap shoot, sometimes they will and sometimes they don't it may depend on who he is hanging out with at the kh. Can you live your life never ever celebrating anything again? or going to every family/friend gathering alone? How will you handle decorating the house? or not? may seem silly but if Christmas for example has always meant a tree and all the trimmings you will have fight on your hands or at least a few weeks of stress about it each and every year for the rest of your life.
Should you get married are you ok with all the time he will have invested in the organization (org)? He will have his mid week meeting around 3 hours, Saturday field service (fs) 4 or more hours, Sunday meeting around 4 hours), then there are the conventions 3 days (and he will take Friday off for this), special assembly days and if he is an elder I there are even more hours required. This means spontaneous weekend getaways are not likely to happen even if the weather is too gorgeous to ignore. He will be in a car with other jw's knocking on your neighborhood doors.
Are you ok with just how much control the org will have over your life even if you don't convert? Here is just a small sampling of everyday ways in which the org will affect you personally and/or your children's life-
no r rated movies and many pg are off limits too
as already mentioned, no holidays
his dress and hair & facial hair will be dictated by the org- yours will be judged by them and commented on when you are not around
your sexual life may be dictated by the org too, I shall leave that to you to research. Your private life will never truly be private by the way, if the elders decide to question him about ANYTHING he WILL answer, if he wants to remain in good standing.
music, the appropriateness of what you can listen to around him will be dictated by his jw-ism
if you have children he will attempt to keep them from "wordly" friends (anyone who is not a jw,) research the lives of those who have grown up in this cult and the deep emotional problems many have suffered
if you have children they will be discouraged (or outright not allowed) to join any clubs, any extra curricular activities, no band, no sports, and definitely no Girl or Boy Scouts/Clubs. Are you ready for this fight for your children?
School dances would be out of the question for young people
your conversation will be limited with your jw spouse- why discuss politics when they are supposed to be neutral? (even though they tend to be extremely opinionated) why discuss the state of the world when everything non jw is evil? court cases? why bother? the judge and the court are part of satan (actually so are you but that is another issue, don't take it personally) all of that is subject to change depending on his self righteousness of the moment or the latest magazine from the watchtower
Think joining the YMCA would be a fun family activity? nope, can't do that either.
You or your kids need blood, think your jw husband will make sure you have it to save your life or that of your children? think again, how will you make sure your life and that of your children will be saved? have a plan? A plan that all your family & friends know about but possibly he doesn't? yes, you might have to sneak around to make sure you all get life saving blood in the case of some accident.
This is just a sampling of how the org controls the life of jw's and their ubm's. I am a ubm. I fought like hell to keep my family together when my jw joined up. I never allowed my kids anywhere near a kingdom hall (kh) or kingdom hell as I like to call them.Thankfully my kids never joined the kh and will not be required to shun me by their so called 'church'. Do you know about shunning? if your kids are jw's and you are not (or even if you are) at some point they may be required to shun you if they want to stay in good standing
If you think you can reach him about the 'truth about the truth' (TATT) meaning that the jehovah witness are a cult, you can't. They must come to that on their own. A word of advice, if you want to remain in good graces with him do not call it a cult, it doesn't go over well. Trust me on this one.
So, lets see what you really have here, a long distance 'relationship' with a guy for 5 long years. You have saved yourself for the big night so there is no messy sexual intimacies to deal with. It you, not him that attempts to keep the 'relationship' together by making the plans and calling. You said, " I feel like the religion will complicate our relationship more if im the only one doing all the sacrifices.", yes that is how the rest of your life will go with this fellow unless he comes to TATT himself.
You really don't have a mature relationship with this guy, you have friend who you talk to on the phone. Ever try calling with a real problem on his meeting night? did he sacrifice and stay home to talk to you? no? you had to wait until the meeting is over or the next day? do you see how you will always be second or even third or fourth in his life?
I haven't even touched on whether you are a religious person or your beliefs and the jw's crazy doctrines! you can't even imagine, truly you can't. When I found out my husband joined up with this crazy cult and the insane doctrines I was absolutely flabbergasted that my husband could fall for this stuff. But he did and so here were are quite a number of years later and things are better but it was sheer hell for awhile and that is putting it mildly. Why would you willingly get involved with and try to make a life with a cult member is beyond me.
You are young, my advice would be to find someone close by that you can have a real relation ship with.
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Scientific reason why it's hard to get someone to change their beliefs.
by LisaRose inmany of us have had the experience of trying to share our knowledge of the dark side of the watchtower with those we love, only to have it end badly with the person getting deeply upset and refusing to believe any of it.
a new study might shed some light on the problem.
this brain study looked at what happens when someone's belief system is challenged.
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carla
I read articles similar to this years ago when my jw joined up. I could literally see real changes in his brain if you can believe that, read up and realized they were actually changing his brain. He would never be the same even if he leaves the borg. I guess that it is true for many life changing events in our life. Just would be easier if he decided to find transcendental meditation or something!