i hit the pillow early last night, first week back at uni is really taking its toll after a month of sleep ins and so on lol!
i must have stirred around 11pm and started reflecting on a list of thoughts that i reserve for quiet moments.
after reading a number of threads on posters that attended the dc this year, it crossed my mind momentarily last weekend that perhaps i might do the same, even if only for a couple of hours on saturday??
I seriously thought this thread was going to be about you going around putting whiskey into people's Shasta sodas at lunchtime. Darn.
OH YES! How can anyone forget Shasta brand pop??? That stuff was nasty tasting; a little Jim Beam would have made the lemon-lime tolerable, LOL!
HS
anyone who regularly reads this site is well aware of the sexual abuse scandals amongst jw congregations worldwide.
(for those not familiar, visit www.silentlambs.org).
not to make light of those who were sexually abused, but i think there is an epedimic of other types of abuse in the org.. how many here have been, or know of, someone who was "spanked" regularly and excessively?
I mentioned this when I first joined but this issue for me was the straw that broke the camel's back. Being told at a shepherding call by the elder that in order to solve my concern over bringing my outgoing 1 yr old to meetings because she wouldn't sit still that I should use a wooden spoon, well, too far buddy. This same elder stood by as a grew up and watched my father beat my mom and all of us kids savagely and never stepped in to help. KNOWING that background, still encouraging me to beat my baby. No excuse, never set foot in the KH again.
HS
Thanks for explaining Tij.
The reason I asked is because so many here talk about how the elders don't warn others when allegations of abuse have been raised against a baptized member, and how despicable that is. I am glad to hear that others in the congregation were informed of the allegations. I wish you would have had the opportunity to face them, but at least it wasn't hidden.
A question that was raised after reading your letter that you never really went into was the issue involving the allegations of sexual abuse brought against you. You said you never had the opportunity to face your accusers. Would you expand on this?
Thanks,
HS
it really gets on my nerves.. jw women used to be always focused, as their number one thing, on appearance.
they could be crap at the rest of the jw stuff, but if they turned up at the meeting dressed nice, thin, long hair, looking nice, all was forgiven.
of course it was because of the misogyny (sp?
I always thought it was wierd that my husband "picked" me when all these submissive "yes" teenage girls were falling all over him. My husband said he knew I was the one when on our third date, I raised a cheek and let one rip. Even now since I've pulled away, he has told me that I'm a grown woman who has the right to make her own decisions and that he will love me regardless of what I choose to do.
I often would have a silent horray session when I would see independent thinkers in the cong. I know that eventually they will figure it out too.
this was a topic that annoyed me and i got into a bit of an argument years ago over this.. some sister (who never worked a day in her life i might add) with the cushy life, affluent husband thought that because she pioneered it was equal to me having a full time secular job.
there were others there who naively thought the same thing.
somehow i gave them an inferiority complex because i worked so they had to dream this up to make themselves feel better.. while i agree that someone who pioneers may be physically tired at the end of the day, there is no comparison to what i have to deal with in going to and from and being on a full time job.
I'm sorry that they turned their "privilege" that they willingly volunteered for into a pissing contest.
For dh and I, pioneering was grueling work. I work approximately 60 hrs a week at present as a business owner and the hardships I face now pale in comparison to the struggles and work I put into regular pioneering in a rural community with just my husband companion for six years. The rejection, the stigmatizing, the physical impact of such hot and cold long days, the personal demons in knowing your 20's are flittering away for absolutely nothing to show for it... But, that being said, I would have never told anyone who was not pioneering that I had it "harder" than them, that is just rude.
HS
i got an email today that says:hi randy, i'm from wi and i have a question that deals with the talk act wisely in a senseless world given by cos. another former brother told me that he had heard this talk given in janesville, wi.
he took notes and knows that what he had heard was not imagined.
the talk dealt w/worldly people being conned by satan and therefore "willing victims" if they were raped, etc.
Back when I was thick in the borg, I remember our DO telling a story on stage at a CA about how some families have EVEN been known to have parties for their children in which they play organized games and have treats. Do you realize what message that sent the neighbors, they will start to think we celebrate birthdays????!!!! I remember sitting there, shaking my head thinking how terribly judgmental he was.
HS (who just brought her girls to their first birthday party they were invited to)
it always bugged me when i would hear or read that the only true friends you would find would be those you made in the organisation - nobody else will really stand by you when you need them.
it used to puzzle me when (prior to being disfellowshipped...) my true friends and my close loving family didn't make contact with me for years, right when i was very deeply depressed and i needed them.
certainly i could have put myself in their lives more pro-actively, but, it's a very effective control tool to tell people not to bother befriending a non-witness; even if they don't damage you spiritually, they will never be as loyal to you as your brothers and sisters.
Totally agree Sass!!
Spent the day with JW inlaws who are visiting from out of state. They know my JW fleshly sister back in the old cong and said that she told them that she can't wait to see me. Yeah, whatever, that explains why you haven't called since last September when we were pounded with a massive hurricane (I'm sure she called just to have the "scoop" anyway). In the last year, since I've been out and making REAL friends, I have, for the first time started to fill the empty hole in my heart where true "sisterhood" is supposed to go. It is so nice to have my friends call me without an alterior motive, just because they actually care about me.
Yes, this is a hot button for me! LOL!
HS
mine was being gay.....and it was a huge load to carry...... (another story).
what was your struggle?.
scoob
Mine was my strong social, extraverted personality. Not good when you have nobody "good enough" to associate with you. LOL! I am still very bitter about not being able to have a normal childhood, no dating, no sports, no slumber parties...
.
i'm looking for trusted sources of info on the bible's origin using established scientific research.. .
hartstrings.
Thanks everyone for sharing your perspective. I'm honestly trying really hard to shut any doors in my mind. I don't want to disprove the bible nor am I looking to vindicate it. The thing is, I was raised on talk #2, All Scriptures are Inspired book. Since leaving JW's, I'm trying to rebuild the spiritual side of myself. I will start by deciding on whether the Bible is a book of fiction or not. This will part of my foundation.
Faith...well, I have to be honest with you, faith and I are not the best of friends right now. Blind faith led me to waste away 30 yrs of my life in the org. I am willing to accept that I may have faith again, but it will have to be based on a solid foundation that I have built. I am also okay with the idea of becoming an athiest if that is where my search takes me. I just need to make this search myself and draw my own conclusions, I guess that is why science appeals to me so much right now.
Thanks again guys!
HS
