I wonder if little kids get baptized in shallow pools shaped like Awake! magazines.
Brothers and sisters participating in the Baptismal Donation Arrangement by PayPal auto-pay at a level of $30 per month will receive the Deluxe Package, which includes:
- Baptism on the Bible page of your choice (Greek Scriptures $10 extra)
- Free JW.org app
- One "get out of field service this month without a shepherding call" pass
- Exclusive use of a warmed Egyptian cotton towel, bathrobe and flip flops as you exit the pool
- Souvenier photo of you with the baptismal talk speaker (selfie for Facebook $10 extra)
- Copy of the convention's new publication release, autographed by the entire cast of the drama
- Orthotics for those long days in field service and trolling around the concrete convention halls looking for a mate
- Lilies of Soloman TM corsage or boutonniere
- Tower of Babel TM app to translate your fs pitch into any language
- Commemorative JW.org canvas bookbag, monogrammed with your initials, the convention location and date
- Option of showing 2 inches of extra thigh in your swimsuit without being policed by the attendants
- An extra round of golf claps when you're dunked
- Deluxe boxed lunch which includes mystery meat hoagie, chips with extra salt, your choice of Shasta (warm), frozen cheese danish, frozen pudding, and a bag of fruit