Posts by kgrrl

19

Standing up for National Anthem / Judges

by RubaDub in

do others here feel that the prohibition about standing for the national anthem lacks any basis in logic whatsoever??

having been raised in the borg, this is one issue that i never understood.. the argument has always been that standing up indicated "worship" of the country, the same as saluting the flag (i'm not discussing the flag salute issue here, just the "standing" issue).. however, if you stand up when required for a person, i.e.

a judge in court, it is ok to stand because it is simply showing respect.

kgrrl

I am reminded of my elementary school experience.

My mother would come to my class at the beginning of the school year and speak with my teacher about my her beliefs. She would bring along the school brochure to give to my teacher. I would be so embarrassed and humiliated! Anyway, I would have to leave the classroom and stand outside in the hallway while Oh Canada was playing. My mother had made this arrangement with my teacher so I had no choice in the matter. In grade six, my classroom was a portable in the backyard of the school. I had to leave the portable and stand outside on the steps. In the winter, I would just leave my winter gear on until after I came back in. My classmate's would always ask me at the beginning of the year, every freakin' year, why I left every time the anthem would play. I never knew what to say because I never fully understood the reasons myself. My classmate's thought I was weird. I remember often sitting on the toitet during class, singing the Oh Canada anthem while taking a pee. I knew every chorus. I felt so guilty but I couldn't help singing it's catchy words.

When I went into junior high, grade seven and eight, my mother thought I was old enough to talk to my teacher myself. I would just give the brochure to her and quickly shy away. Once high school came, I never told any teacher's the truth about the organization I was apart of. I stood up, in class and it felt awesome and right. Mind you, I only when to high school for three weeks and then my mother took me out. I never went back....and that is a whole other story.

Shit, I forgot about the whole national anthem ordeal...thanks for letting me rant!

11

Anyone here got to meetup meetings for ex jws?

by Eyebrow2 in

jw
friends

.

i never got a chance to when i was in new england..but see they have things down here in texas as well.. i was just wondering if any of you have gone to any meet up activity...even if it is not jw related..

kgrrl

I went once and I don't think I'll go again.

The folks were nice but I felt like I was at a JW meeting again. I was the youngest person present by a good age gap. The three others were dressed like they were going to the meeting, legs crossed, very polite and proper. I felt like they were trying to nurture me because of my age. I felt uncomfortable and tried to hide my tattoos, thinking I would be judged. They also became involved in the organization as adults whereas I was raised in it. It makes a big difference in your healing journey. Two of the men were elders at on time so it was interesting to learn some of the tactics they used while under that role.

39

new to the forum

by kgrrl in

hello...just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

my name is kelli.

i was raised as a jehovah witness by my mother.

kgrrl

Thank you for the warm, truly loving responses from all of you!

I am overwhelmed and speechless

~Kelli

39

new to the forum

by kgrrl in

hello...just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

my name is kelli.

i was raised as a jehovah witness by my mother.

kgrrl

Hello...just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

My name is Kelli. I was raised as a Jehovah Witness by my mother. My father did not become a JW until I was sixteen. Growing up was difficult, living in a divided household. I was born and raised in Ontario. When I was fourteen, my parents and younger sister moved to Nova Scotia. My older brother stayed in Ontario, abandoned because the elders disfellowshipped him. My mother felt that ignoring him would somehow bring him back into the organization. He has never returned, heehee.

Life in Nova Scotia was hard. My father became a Witness and decided to take an active role as father to my sister and I. Unfortunately, we were now teens and rebelled at the idea of him telling us what to do. Also at this time, I befriended a girl my age and we became quite close. Her family were JW's and they lived across the street. Her father quickly began to emotionally abuse me and the sexual abuse started about three months later. His outward advances happened for a year and a half until I had enough courage to speak up. In the end, four other girls in the congergation came forward expressing he emotionally abused them. He was publicly reproved and lost his priviledges for five months! I became clinically depressed, suicidal and spiritually dead. The elders offered no support. Within a year, I disassociated myself because I couldn't bear to go to another meeting and endure having to look at him. I was seventeen years old.

I ran back to Ontario and started a life of drug addiction and self-abuse. My parents disowned me and the guilt and shame tormented me daily. Two years later, my mother convinced me to move back in with them and get reinstated. I did this for her. The process of getting reinstated in long and very lonely. The only people I could speak to were my parents, two people who no longer knew me. Six months later, I was back in the organization and completely miserable. Thankfully, my parents moved to another congergation so I only had to see Mr. Pedophile at conventions. I lasted one year and then elders deemed me a bad influence and disfellowshipped me. I was caught smoking a cigarette. I tried to appeal their decision, at my mom's request, but the six elders infront me didn't care what I had to say. My defense was that, yes, I indeed was spiritually dead and needed help. I admitted it. My reasons were because of the emotional and sexual abuse and having to cope with the incredible shame. The elders refused to let me further talk about my experiences, saying the situation was dealt with and thus put in the past. I was on my own once again; no identity, community or family.

I am now twenty six years old and I have done an incredible amount of healing. I am happily living on the West Coast with my partner and brand new five month old son. I am in counselling, continuing my path of letting go of my past. I am finally happy with who I am, who I have become. I miss my parents (my sister left when she was a teen) and a few of my JW friends but I have learned to accept their decision of shutting me out. I try not to live in the past and instead work on building a community of like-minded folks.

I appreciate this forum. I have come and read posts on several occasions. I thought it was time I say hello and start to share my thoughts.