i was disfellowshipped for exactly one year.
i couldn't help thinking how controlling the elders were.
i lived with my parents just so they could talk to me.
stillajwexelder, you can't help the past. Maybe because you have been an elder and had to go through those things you can have even more empathy for people who are coming out of the life. I know you are a huge part of the support system at JWD and are appreciated here.
unclejoe, I am glad you can still talk to your parents too. Being apart from them is the hardest.
a friend of mine in an undisclosed province of this great country canada is undergoing some duress -- it seems the elders from her old kh keep phoning her/leaving her messages with ultimatums and places they feel she should meet her, when really (and astonishly enough) she just wants to be left alone, having felt this way since a divorce in the spring of this year no longer attending meetings.
my query - is there any form of cease and desist order, or restraining oder she could get that would make any further attempts to contact her a breach of some sort, resulting in lawful punishment?.
oh and by the way, hello old friends, and happy birthday valis - you rawk
Wouldn't they take a letter like that to be one of dissassociating themself?
I am expecting the elders to be harassing me soon. My boyfriend is living with me and although I have been inactive for most of the year, a JW family has driven by twice as we were entering our house and looking our way when they did. I am sure they will have a talk with the elders. I have no plans to talk with the elders. They can call the house and knock on the door, but I am not answering since I left the religion, I don't feel I need to play by their rules. It would be different if I wanted to become active so then I would want to bare my soul, thereby seeking forgiveness. I assume the elders can, if they think you have done something wrong, set you up so if you do not answer their calls, send you a letter with an appointment that you are told to meet and any 'non attendence' would there by admit guilt, thus receiving dfing. Is this true?
I am interesting in knowing the answer to the question in this thread on how to stop harrassment since I am expecting it.
sorry if this is a sad question, but i know of 3 jw's that have suicided.
i haven't known any personally, but i was wondered if you know any or know of any jw's that have suiced?
and do you know the reason why?
There is so much sadness in this thread regarding lives lost that did not need to be. I truly feel for everyone here that has had someone close to them take their life. I know people say it is a selfish thing (I have been told that in some not so kind ways), but truly I don't think anyone who attempts/succeeds does it for selfish reasons. Sometimes when the mind is so depressed it can actually think in a warped way that you are doing those you love a favor by leaving. Of course, this isn't true, but someone seeking to leave, isn't thinking rationally.
It angers me to know that many of these lives may very well have been lost due to the pressures of the JW world. I know that it played a huge part in my attempt. I refuse to ever be a part of something that has so much pressure on my life that I would feel cornered to put myself in that dangerous place again. This can not be part of a true religion when so much pain comes from it. That isn't what a true religion would be about. It makes no sense. I just can't believe it took me so long to realize it.
LyinEyes, of all the heartache in this thread, yours touched me the most. I am so sorry for all the pain you have had in your life.
{{{{{{{{{{{{LyinEyes}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
i've been df'd for a number of years, and up until recently have been able to maintain a fairly close relationship with my parents.
dad passed away a few years back and since then i have tried to keep my mom busy so she wouldn't be alone - phone calls, shopping, dinner, etc - and i took care of things around her house for her.
well now mom has decided that she needs to follow the wt rules and cut the "socializing" with me - of course, it's "acceptable" for me to still go take care of her when she needs it .
Dawn, I really respect the way you are handling something that could very well have been a huge cloud over you. We all know the pain of losing a family member and yet you are so right, that taking stock in those positive things you do have, gives us joy. May all your days give you strength to keep focusing on the positive, thus keeping those clouds off your horizen.
i haven't posted for a few weeks as i have been back at work busy beavering away, however as it is my day off i thought i would see if anyone else has the same trouble that i have, and also if there is anything they have found useful.. i have always had trouble eating properly and sleeping ever since my early teen years, but over the past couple of years or so (even though i know i don't believe the watchtower teachings anymore) i have at least 3 or 4 times a week, the most vivid awful nightmares about armaggeddon, and the different ways that jehovah is going to destroy me because of my wickedness.
i wake up in tears and shaking with fear, and then i am not able to get back to sleep, i just lie awake until the morning not daring to close my eyes.. i can't believe that as a grown woman, the watchtower teachings keep coming back to haunt me.. lainey.
ps can i also thank all the posters for the kind personal messages that i have received since i came here
I used to have those Armageddon nightmares a lot. I am not sure why since I was a JW at the time and although my dreams should have been about getting into the paradise, they were always about me hiding where there is destruction every where and not being fearful that at any moment I would be destoryed too. They were horrible. I haven't had even one of those since I left JW activities which is ironic. One would figure I'd get them more now.
ok i rarely ask questions but hey i might as well do this too.
but to make life a lot easier for you i will put tham all in one thread when you first came here what did you expect?what were you looking for?did you find it and if so how?if you were looking for information how did you look for it - ask a question?
wander through the threads?
I recently realized that my JW friends and family know me on this site now...and probably read my posts. It freaks me out and makes me want to leave. I want to hide. I have said things here that were never intended for their ears and it makes me feel nekkid...and not in a good way. :-o But I need the support right now. Hopefully it will all work out OK. *bites fingernails*
I know how you feel Piph. It feels like an invasion of someone reading our mail or diaries when they read our words here even though they are here for no personal good reason themselves. It hurts like a personal attack, even though all we want is to be left alone to deal with our decisions and have peace.
.
i'm listening .
you made a good impression on me
i was lurking at beliefnet "learn about jehovah's witnesses"... here's a response to a question i'm sure you'll all enjoy!.
"3. what social systems do the jw have?
like support systems.".
Our elders are well trained to handle all kinds of situations that may come up, including ...suicide counselling,
well I certainly never saw that after I tried to commit suicide. They acted like they didn't even hear me when I told them. Like it was unimportant conversation like hello how are you or Nice weather we are having.
sorry if this is a sad question, but i know of 3 jw's that have suicided.
i haven't known any personally, but i was wondered if you know any or know of any jw's that have suiced?
and do you know the reason why?
yeah! another Minnesotan?
And my son attempted it when he thought the elders were going to disfellowship him; when he woke he was surprised that I was not mad at him. I have had many a sleepless night over this.
I think my mom can relate to that pistoff. She has always worried about me after I attempted it. I only slept for two days. Thankfully mom was far away and didn't know about it until long after. My dad still doesn't know.
in short, respect, honesty and truth.
perfection?
i personally sense some persons expect and demand toooo much from others on forums of this nature.
I hear where you are coming from Lovinlife.
as for the other question brought up
'What do we expect from our marriage mates?' But then again, it should all tie in, shouldn't it?I think it is the same in a relationship only I would hope a level higher yet. You have trust and love along with honesty and forgiveness.
