Posts by Onager

50

Elder asking for help

by untruth in

this is my first time posting on here so i’m not sure where to start.

i’m trying to keep it as short as possible since i could expand much more.

i’ve been in the process of waking up in the last year and a half.

Onager

Hi Untruth and welcome! You've woken up but your wife hasn't so is there any reason why you can't take your foot off the gas and sloooow down?

I know that the drive to convince someone you love who you think has wrong beliefs is incredibly strong (keeps me awake at night sometimes), but what really is the rush?

Have you read Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan? I found it's methods of gradually helping people useful. It can take a long time, years even, but the risk of rushing things is that you'll push the person even further in and lose them entirely.

Good luck!

Matt

13

Community Outside of a Religious Setting

by What Now? in

jw
friends

this is the one thing that i have struggled with since leaving the organization.

i recognize the need and value of belonging somewhere, being a part of something, showing up weekly to a community where me and my husband and children are loved and utilized and incorporated and cared for.

a place where are my kids qualities are nurtured and encouraged , and then reigned in and developed when needed.

Onager

Move to a small village? They tend to be tightly knit communities. We lived in a village in the Cotswolds for a year. Village fetes, weekly pub quizzes, everyone into everyone else's business... I thought it was great, but it drove the wife mad. YMMV.

18

Singing

by skimthesurface in

jw
friends

despite not wanting to be a jw anymore and not being at meetings for a few months, still have k. songs coming into my head- both from old and new song books - usually whilst working.

anyone else?

how does it make you feel?.

Onager

The tunes were pretty much out of my head, or so I thought, until I started singing nonsense, made up lullaby's to my baby. You know, you start with twinkle twinkle little star and then riff off randomly until suddenly you realise you're singing about dinosaurs and boobies living in peace, their helmets bright against the sky, bid iguanas and pterodactyls fly.

It bothered me a bit at first, but as he's never going to see the inside of a Kingdom Hall I don't think it's a big issue.

13

Facial Hair?

by HereIgo in

now what was the deal with this one?

my cong strictly enforced the facial hair unwritten rule.

alot of bros starting growing soul patches, then the co cracked down on that too, no more, must be clean shaven, especially ms and elders.

Onager

Word on the street is that it started during the Rutherford takeover of the organisation. Rutherford was clean shaven but old Charles T. had a beaut of a beard and a lot of the brothers also had beards. In order to make a clean break with the old guard the Judge banned beards.

Wait, instead of rambling on in my own idiosyncratic way, here's the actual quote I'm thinking of from JWFacts.com:

However, the tide against beards had already started with Rutherford, Watchtower’s second leader. Rutherford’s clean-shaven appearance and imposition upon other brothers was a way to distance the religion from Russell’s leadership. Many did not accept Rutherford as Watchtower's rightful second leader, and Rutherford took insult with brothers sporting beards in imitation of Russell. This is explained in the book 30 Years a Watchtower Slave, recounting an experience from 1925.

“An amusing incident took place at the time of the Judge's visit. The Director of our German branch, as had many before him, had grown a large beard, patterned after Charles T. Russell`s beard. The Judge did not want anything at all to remain which might remind him of Russell - not even the cultivation of a beard. So, sitting at the table for dinner one night within my earshot, the Director asked the Judge for one more large rotary press. The Judge said nothing for a while, merely ate. So, suddenly he looked up, his eyes pinned severely on the Director`s huge beard and said, “I will buy you the press if you take that thing off,” pointing to the beard. It surely shocked the Director`s sensibilities, but he meekly heeded the warning and soon shamefacedly appeared minus the beard.” 30 Years a Watchtower Slave Schnell pp.51-52

98

Steve Hassan. Can some one verify if this is true.

by joe134cd in

https://culteducation.com/group/1289-general-information/8227-disclaimer-regarding-steve-hassan.html.

Onager

I'm a big fan of Cesar Millan, he of "The Dog Whisperer" TV show (bear with me, I have a point). I watched his TV shows avidly even before I owned a dog myself, so when I finally got a puppy I thought I'd check out how much it would cost to have a training session with the great man.

Admittedly I live in the UK, so this was just a pipe dream as I definitely wouldn't be able to afford to fly him over from the US, but I looked up his fees just for fun.

For a 5 day course with up to 45 other people on the course with you, you will pay.... $5,950 for one human and one dog.

That's right, if the course is full then Cesar will make $267,750 in a 5 day course. He runs one course a month by the looks of things on his website.

This is dog training, not saving a loved one from a lifetime of misery in a cult! I still don't think the cost is excessive though. You're getting access to an expert in the field who is also a celebrity and therefore is going to be in great demand. If I had the opportunity I'd pay that money happily!

Steve Hassan is a successful author, a celebrity. If you want his internationally renowned services then you have to pay that sort of money.

58

What's The First "Worldly" Thing You Did When You Exited The Cult?

by pale.emperor in

when you finally and officially exited the cult, whether it be by disfellowshipping, disassociating or fading - what was the first things you did that are considered "worldly"?.

for me, it was like crash landing on another planet that looked like earth but was completely different to the earth i knew.

i wanted to learn everything that i thought i already knew.. first things i did:.

Onager

I smoked... have now stopped

I drank a LOT. have now stopped.

Took loads of mind bending drugs. have now stopped.

Is this because I'm more mature now and disapprove of such things? Hell no! I had a kid!

Just not poss. With said kid,

In twenty years time though, when he's moved out, I'm going to go buck wild!

18

Any Kiwis Here?

by Wild_Thing in

jw
friends

i'm wondering if there are any here that are from new zealand or currently live there.

i'm going to be staying there for a month in july 2017 ... location to be determined.

i would love to have someone i can ask questions while i am in the planning stages.

Onager

Not a Kiwi personally, although I went listening for Kiwi's in Arthur's Pass on the South Island. South Island all the way for me. Hopewell hostel in Abel Tasman National Park was a stand out memory. Arthurs Pass has the most expensive toilet in the world I believe. Well worth a visit. Christchurch was beautiful the first time we visited and then somewhat earthquake damaged the second time and I think they've been walloped again since but those busy Kiwis are probably on top of sorting it out.

Can't recommend South island highly enough!

18

I want to understand violence

by Chook in

tell me your thoughts ?.

Onager

Violence is easy. It's the fast food of conflict resolution. It's quick, it's readily available and it gets the job done.

It's also dirty, bad for you and often causes more problems than it solves.

Just like a cheeseburger...

44

Ponderings of a Worldly Person

by Nevuela in

35-year-old female in california here.

never a jw, but have had bible studies and attended several meetings and even a convention once.

i've always been agnostic with leanings toward the belief in some deity or other, although the more i learned from the jw's, the more i've learned to doubt, not just their teachings, but the fundamental teachings of all religions.

Onager

Touche Landy! Touche!

I have a one year old son. Sometimes he has nice dreams and laughs in his sleep! It makes sense to me that a friendly, invisible, giant of some kind is blowing dreams into his ear with his dream trumpet. I call him the F.I.G. and you can't prove he doesn't exist.

43

Help Please - Finding It Hard Adjusting To The Real World

by pale.emperor in

im asking for you guys help in a phase im going through right now.

im sure it’ll pass but id appreciate your advice..

born in, my family consists of mum, dad, two brothers and two sisters.

Onager

I don't just think, I know that your mood and esteem will continue to go on a rollercoaster ride as you continue to adjust. There will be gradual but constant improvement but of course there will always be occasional bad patches. The thing is that from now on, you don't have to get through the bad times while carrying a massive load of bullshit on your shoulders at the same time!