Topics Started by SM62
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The Bible according to Spike Milligan.....
by Gadget in.
in the beginning god created the heavens and the earth.. 2. and darkness was upon the face of the deep; this was due to a malfunction at the lots road power station.. 3. and god said, let there be light; and there was light, but eastern electricity board said he would have to wait until thursday to be connected.. 4. and god saw the light and it was good; he saw the quarterly bill and it was not good.. 5. and god called the light day, and the darkness he called night, and so passed his gcse.. 6. and god said, let there be a firmament and god called the firmament heaven, freephone 999.. 7. and god said, let the waters be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear, and in london it went on sale at six hundred pounds a square foot.. 8. and god said, let the earth bring forth grass, and the earth brought forth grass and the rastafarians smoked it.. 9. and god said, let there be lights in heaven to give light to the earth, and it was so, except over england where there was heavy cloud and snow over high ground.. 10. and god said, let the seas bring forth that that hath life, flooding the market with fish fingers, fishburgers and grade-three salmon.. 11. and god blessed them, saying, be fruitful, multiply, and fill the sea, and let fowl multiply on earth where prince charles and prince philip would shoot them.. 12. and god said, let the earth bring forth cattle and creeping things, and there came cows, and the bbc board of governors.. 13. and god said, let us make man in our own image, but woe many came out like spitting image.. 14. and he said, let man have dominion over fish, fowl, cattle and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.. 15. and god said, behold, i have given you the first of the free yielding seed, to you this shall be meat, but to the ec it will be a beef mountain.
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Did The Elders Always Talk With You "In A Spirit of Mildness"???
by minimus injw's, are as a rule, self-righteous pharisees.
they were the first to "report" you if they believed that you did something not up to standards.
even if you started "thinking" a certain way that might be considered "worldly", you might be talked to by 2 elders to "readjust you in a spirit of mildness.
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The More Important Things.........
by simplesally inwhen we were good jw's, we were ordered counseled to "make sure of the more important things.
" they meant we were to "buy out the opportune time" and read our mags, go to meetings and field service......etc.
spiritual things first.
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27
You Should all be Listening to The W?T Now!!!
by Latte ini have done load of washing, cleaning, getting school uniform ready - (and all that goes with that) this sunday morning.
what a chunck out of your day attending the kh was!
i remember being so tired after sunday activities: make sandwiches for fs, get kids ready, get to kh.
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13
Psyc Test on Monday
by hotdog ini have to do a pych test on monday for a new job i'm going for - anyone done one before?
whats in it?
will they find out about my dark side?
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35
current JW's, asking a question...
by jwbot inare there any current jehovahs witnesses here?.
what are your reasons for being here?
to find like minded people?
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What JWD means to me...some reflections, and your opinions
by onacruse inwhen i signed up on jwd last summer, i was a total, total internet newbie.
i'd never been on a db before, never been in a chat room before, and didn't have a clue what im was.
lol talk about wet behind the ears .
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12
"All those who call on the name of Jehovah..."
by ignorance is strength insound familiar?
doesn't it bother you how jw's think that just by saying the work "jehovah" it will ward off anything evil?
you've heard it all, yelling "jehovah" can exorcise, prevent rape and robbery and the list goes on.
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"Man was created in Gods image"
by Dansk inok, we've all read/heard this one before and i've asked a question on someone's thread a long time ago that just disappeared.
by giving the topic its own thread i'm hoping someone can give me the definitive answer............(but i'm not holding my breath!)..
right, my point is, if we are made in god's image that means we reflect his (good) qualities.
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Elders = Business?
by Dimples inis it just me or does it seem as soon as a brother becomes an elder, soon after, he starts his own business?
when i was a jw i remember how brothers were struggling to make ends meet and as soon as they became and elder or ms.....all of a sudden they have money to start their own businesses.
along wth it comes.... new cars, home improvements etc.