leaving (page 3)

OldSoul

Welcome Toby888!!

For combatting mind control, I highly recommend studying Blondie's weekly WT comments. She brings up many of the sophistic models of reasoning used, and show the fallacy. Here is the most recent: Comments You Will Not Hear at the 10-9-05 WT Study (September 1, 2005 issue)

Understanding the verbal tools used can help in combat. Here is an attempt I made at exposing in detail the methods they use to insinuate their teachings without support: This Week In Sophistry (Watchtower May 9-15)

Other than these, readin posters comments will help a lot. The reasoning you will read from those who have been out a while could be compared to a seasoned combat veteran.

Respectfully,
OldSoul

ballistic

Hi and welcome...

I can imagine some of the emotions you are going through and can say it took me years to recover - but don't let that bother you. When I left, there was no internet or support and I had the serious job of growing up to do, finding my own way in the world and having no money. Things are very different for me now and I'm still alive amazingly. I don't know your full situation but it sounds like you have a grip on your own mind and all this information at your fingertips... the only way is up!

PaNiCAtTaCk

Glad to have you guys here!!! Myself and the family are about 6 or 7 months ahead of you guys and things have really gotten better for us. Finally seperating from meeting and service completely really helped break the control. Only then can you see the subtle mind control techniques they use. Another thing you need to do is READ, READ, READ. Read this forum and read cult related books to see for yourself if the JW's are in fact a CULT. Also see both sides of every issue, something that as witnesses you were never allowed to do! You dont have to stop believing in Jehovah or Christ Jesus. I am not a Born again like some have turned. As a family we simply read and interpret for ourselves, not allowing any man to tell us " you must believe this way or that way!" I encourage you to read Crisis of Conscience if you havent yet. Also "Combatting cult mind control" written by a former moonie will really help you. And its not even apostate reading.

Bryan

Nice to have you here Lo-ru-hamah!

For me it took about 5 years to get the little Tower Devil out of the back of my head. Yes, it is hard, but very worth it. I think what really helped me was meeting people. I would help out at community theatres, go to the Museum mixers, symphany, etc. If you and your family have other intrests, find people with the same likes.

Take care,

Bryan

Have You Seen My Mother

ChrisVance

no trinity, paradise earth, no blood, Jehovah God. ... Do others of you still believe in the fundamentals as well?

I still believe 2 of five fundamentals you mentioned.

I believe there's no hell and no trinity, but I don't believe in a paradise earth, I don't believe blood transfusions are bad, and I don't believe that there's such a things as Jehovah God.

Being gay my journey is probably very different from yours, but I wish you quick recovery from the cult.

seattleniceguy

Hi Lo-ru-hamah,

A big welcome to the board!

I know how you feel with regard to the uncertainty of leaving the Witnesses. I went through it a little over two years ago, and let me assure you, the experience is something I will never forget. Everyone deals with things differently, but I'll tell you what helped me, and you can take these suggestions with a grain of salt, and perhaps they'll help you too.

First and foremost, read. The universe is so vastly different than the Witnesses make it out to be, I was blown away when I began seeing it for myself. Read about art, science, philosophy, religion, politics, nature - anything that interests you.

Second, and this is a biggy, specifically read about religion and high-control groups. Many people leave the Witnesses without truly understanding the organization or their own decision to leave it. To borrow a phrase from a movie, "We can never see past the decisions we don't understand." To this end, it is so, so, so important to read books and essays that will give you insight into religion in general, but about high-control groups and the Witnesses specifically.

Here's my list of must-read/see material for exiting Witnesses:

Crisis of Conscience, by Ray Franz
Beyond Jehovah's Witnesses (http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/), by Timothy Campbell
Animal Farm, by George Orwell
Combatting Cult Mind Control, by Steve Hassan
Movie: The Truman Show, screenplay by Andrew Niccol (If you've already seen it, trust me, it will have new meaning for you now.)
Watchtower Quotes (http://quotes.watchtower.ca) by our friend Quotes. :-)

That's probably a good start. Another good thing to do is to get to know your neighbors. They're probably much nicer people than the Watchtower led you to believe. Start to reach out and form relationships with the people in your community. This is an important part of recovery.

Best wishes to you and your family as you move ahead! Hope to see you around the board.

SNG

seattleniceguy

I just wanted to second what AA said:

It will help if you immediately get your head around the fact that "worldly" people are actually just people, and are in the vast majority of cases decent, reasonable folks. Your neighbors, your coworkers, church members -- they're all good people. Go see for yourself.

The Witness way of life is so laden with judgement that without even noticing it, you find yourself constantly looking for reasons that "worldly people" are bad. For me, the fact that so many of my workmates were genuinely great people was a source of extreme cognitive dissonance for me when I was a Witness. And yet, when I left, I found that for a while, I still had these ideas of how "worldly people" thought or acted. Fortunately, this was short-lived.

The reality, and it may take time to really understand this, but the reality is:

There is no such thing as "the world." There are no such people as "worldly people."

It's like Romans calling all non-Romans "barbarians," as if you could make any kind of generalized comments about how non-Romans think or act. "The world" actually means the six billion people that are not Witnesses, and that's it! They span the full spectrum of habits, thoughts, behavior, and so on. So reach out, get to know them. Most people on our little planet are pretty darn nice.

Anyway, sorry to preach, but this one can be a biggy for exiting JWs, so I had to put in my two cents. :-)

SNG

bythesea

Welcome Lo-ru and Toby888!!! I'm still working my way out of the org(borg) also....my mate is still in as are my children and numerous family members. I'm trying to do the slow fade out....I'm so happy I've found this forum to read and get different people's perspectives! We all have a story....and for many it is still ongoing! I second the idea to READ as much as you can....the list of books suggested above(by ???) is good, and I'd add Franz' second one titled In Search of Christian Freedom to it....I still find it comforting to read portions of when I'm feeling down and wondering about where my relationship with God is these days....there is so much indoctrination to get rid of and it will take time! I wasn't raised as a JW, but have been associated most of my life and baptized 25 yrs. Its feeling sooooo good to get control of my life back and its only been since the first of this year! If I wasn't doing the slow fade I'm sure I could make more progress.

Keep hanging in there, you newcomers....look here for support, read "the best of...." as I'm finding it a wealth of information and think you guys will too....full of insight.

Lo-ru....I'm finding that I'm still a very spiritual person, in fact more so now since being able to have a freer relationship with God....I think before I was RELIGIOUS, but had lost my spirituality...do you know what I mean? When my faith in the WTS was shaken and I came to realize that they weren't "God's channel to mankind on earth today" then EVERYTHING they had taught me came into question....things I'd taken for granted were Bible teachings....I'm having to rebuild my faith and re-examine everything....its all a process....don't give up!!! bythesea

Virgogirl

I found peace by realizing they are wrong about so many things and, God does not belong to the Witnesses! Leaving the Witnesses does NOT mean leaving God! You can always talk to God, and pray thru Jesus, and be heard. Admire a forest or mountains or the seashore at sunset and you will feel God there.You will find peace by talking to God and he will understand.

Dan-O

Tequila helps the process of leaving. So does fornication.

Well, it worked for me, 20+ years ago.

leaving

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