I Can't Believe JW Relative Called

by Jeannine 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5
    SCHOOL DAZE
    Matt Swann is 27. he took 6-1/2 years to graduate from the University of Georgia. When he finally finished, he had a brand-spanking-new degree in cognitive science, which he describes as a wide-ranging interdisciplinary field that covers cognition, problem solving, artificial intelligence, linguistics, psychology, philosophy and anthropology. All of which is pretty cool, but its value in today's job market is not clear. "Before the '90s maybe, it seemed like a smart guy could do a lot of things," Swann says. "Kids used to go to college to get educated. That's what I did, which I think now was a bit naive. Being smart after college doesn't really mean anything.

    'Oh, good, you're smart. Unfortunately your productivity's s___, so we're going to have to fire you.'"

    College is the institution most of us entrust to watch over the transition to adulthood, but somewhere along the line that transition has slowed to a crawl. In a TIME poll of people ages 18 to 29, only 32% of those who attended college left school by age 21. In fact, the average college student takes five years to finish. The era of the four-year college degree is all but over.

    Swann graduated in 2002 as a newly minted cognitive scientist, but the job he finally got a few months later was as a waiter in Atlanta.

    He waited tables for the next year and a half. It proved to be a blessing in disguise. Swann says he learned more real-world skills working in restaurants than he ever did in school. "It taught me how to deal with people. What you learn as a waiter is how to treat people fairly, especially when they're in a bad situation." That's especially valuable in his current job as an insurance-claims examiner.

    There are several lessons about twixters to be learned from Swann's tale. One is that most colleges are seriously out of step with the real world in getting students ready to become workers in the postcollege world. Vocational schools like DeVry and Strayer, which focus on teaching practical skills, are seeing a mini-boom. Their enrollment grew 48% from 1996 to 2000. More traditional schools are scrambling to give their courses a practical spin. In the fall, Hendrix College in Conway, Ark., will introduce a program called the Odyssey project, which the school says will encourage students to "think outside the book" in areas like "professional and leadership development" and "service to the world." Dozens of other schools have set up similar initiatives.

    As colleges struggle to get their students ready for real-world jobs, they are charging more for what they deliver. The resulting debt is a major factor in keeping twixters from moving on and growing up.

    Thirty years ago, most financial aid came in the form of grants, but now the emphasis is on lending, not on giving. Recent college graduates owe 85% more in student loans than their counterparts of a decade ago, according to the Center for Economic and Policy Research.

    In TIME's poll, 66% of those surveyed owed more than $10,000 when they graduated, and 5% owed more than $100,000. (And this says nothing about the credit-card companies that bombard freshmen with offers for cards that students then cheerfully abuse. Demos, a public-policy group, says credit-card debt for Americans 18 to 24 more than doubled from 1992 to 2001.) The longer it takes to pay off those loans, the longer it takes twixters to achieve the financial independence that's crucial to attaining an adult identity, not to mention the means to get out of their parents' house.

    Meanwhile, those expensive, time-sucking college diplomas have become worth less than ever. So many more people go to college now—a 53% increase since 1970—that the value of a degree on the job market has been diluted. The advantage in wages for college-degree holders hasn't risen significantly since the late 1990s, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. To compensate, a lot of twixters go back to school for graduate and professional degrees. Swann, for example, is planning to head back to business school to better his chances in the insurance game. But piling on extra degrees costs precious time and money and pushes adulthood even further into the future.

    Time, January 16, 2005

    Cant get on the site to read the article, would have to pay for it, but a few blogs had the article

  • Jeannine
    Jeannine

    Mrsjones5: Thanks for finding the article and the quote. However, the WT clearly (I am looking right at it now) cites that the quote came from "Time, January 24, 2005". I suppose even the perfect WT is entitled to typos. Anyway, a reading of the Time article suggests to me that the opinion of the author is that MORE education, beyond a 4 year college degree, is needed today. The Time article states that to compensate for the huge pool of 4 yr degree holders, a job seeker might want to consider graduate/professional school IN ADDITION to the 4 yr degree. So, the article is pro-education. It is simply pointing out that because so many young people are going to college now, as compared to years ago, that a 4 yr degree has less value now. That makes perfect sense to me. With the increase of educated young job-seekers, it is almost necessary today for the young people to become educated to land a decent paying job. The Time article was just comparing a 4 yr degree to a graduate school degree. The WT, on the other hand, is trying to compare a 4 yr degree to NO DEGREE AT ALL. Oh, my. The WT takes one line out of the Time article, that was clearly meant to point out the importance of continuing education beyond a 4 yr. degree, and uses it to support their position that NO DEGREE IS EVEN NECESSARY. How screwed up is that ?

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    It's basic Watchtower MO. They love to use quotes out of context. In the old days before the internet most people wouldnt have noticed. But having search engines like google really exposes how dishonestly the Watchtower uses quotes to forward their ideas.

  • AuntieJane
    AuntieJane

    I think this information on the article deserves its own Subject and posting. Can anyone do that??

    It is really valuable info and might be lost in this thread,

    AJ

  • Jeannine
    Jeannine

    AuntieJane, I agree and I started a new thread about this latest WT and education. Now, back to the point of this thread.....my hubby is about to call my Elder bro-in-law to see what the hell he wants after 15 years of ignoring him. I'll update later.

  • Jeannine
    Jeannine

    My hubby finally got in touch with his brother early this morning. His brother said, "I called because I miss you in my life. I am sorry we've been so distant....I am sorry that I've treated you so badly over the years...I am sorry that I haven't accepted you....I want us to reconnect. I want to be part of your life again....I want to be your brother.." My hubby was all choked up with tears and in shock. His brother apologized for specific "shunning" events that took place 15 years ago....events even my hubby has long forgotten about. After they got off the phone, my hubby was elated, yet bewildered by these sudden turn of events. He is SO HAPPY to have his brother back it is almost painful for me to watch. I've got a feeling that if his brother continues with his Elderhood in the organization, sooner or later he will start treating my hubby like crap again. I hope I am wrong.

    So, what is up with the change of heart from this Elder/blood brother ? Do JWs usually do these 360 degree turns? Could this be a sign that his brother wants "out" of the organization, or is it acceptable for an Elder to remain with the org. and associate with a long lost brother? My hubby was never baptised, so there was no disfellowshiping or action taken against him. Hubby just refused to go to meetings and join in their shannanigans.

    From what I can tell, my bro-in-law is still knee-deep in the org. (Elder, goes to all meetings, field service, etc), so there is no change there. But, I suppose one can have doubts while still keeping up appearances. I am thinking that one thing that may have brought on my bro-in-laws guilt is all the images he has seen lately in the hurricane Katrina areas of family members who have "lost" other family members and are crying into the television with pain. Those are difficult images to get out of your head when you know that your own "lost" brother is only a phone call away. Besides that, I can't think of any reason why after all these years my bro-in-law wants to be "family" again. I am hoping that my hubby doesn't expect me to go with him when he reunites with his brother. I don't know if I can stomach it.

  • hemp lover
    hemp lover

    Wow - out of all the possible scenarios presented, this one seemed the least likely to happen. IMO, it's probably a good idea if you aren't around for their initial reintroduction to brotherhood. I hope your husband doesn't get his hopes too high, but who knows? Maybe your brother-in-law is starting to realize what's really important or maybe he's even a lurker on a site like this one. (unlikely, i know, but not impossible.)

    Please keep us posted. I'm curious to hear about the reunion, if it actually happens.

  • sammielee24
    sammielee24

    All I can say is give him a chance. The fight that a JW has inside himself sometimes can be so horrendous that I don't think you can even begin to comprehend how much it eats them up. My husband's brother was not df'd either but he was baptized and disassociated himself and my husband being a fanatical JW would have very little to do with him - being a whole family of Elders doesn't help much either. In the end, he sent apologies to his brother and his wife for his behaviour toward them and had a great visit with him a few months after that. It takes a lot of communication and time to heal those rifts but it can be done. When a JW moves toward a 'wordly' person it could be because he is faltering and recognizing with shame how he has acted. It is good to talk about it. For those that were raised in the society, they understand the rigidity of that life and are less condemning than those that aren't. I hope you support their relationship as much as you can and as much as your husband needs you to.

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly
    My hubby finally got in touch with his brother early this morning. His brother said, "I called because I miss you in my life. I am sorry we've been so distant....I am sorry that I've treated you so badly over the years...I am sorry that I haven't accepted you....I want us to reconnect. I want to be part of your life again....I want to be your brother.."

    Well, there you are, see? Similar feelings we expressed to our niece.

    After they got off the phone, my hubby was elated, yet bewildered by these sudden turn of events. He is SO HAPPY to have his brother back it is almost painful for me to watch. ; I've got a feeling that if his brother continues with his Elderhood in the organization, sooner or later he will start treating my hubby like crap again. I hope I am wrong.

    It's taken a lot for your BIL to break with established protocol and pluck up the courage to call your hubby. I doubt he'll want to mess up. And as sammielee said, "When a JW moves toward a 'wordly' person it could be because he is faltering and recognizing with shame how he has acted." I think that is correct. That was certainly what was going on with us - we were faltering and felt shame.

  • Jeannine
    Jeannine

    Well, we'll see how it all goes. My hubby is suppose to be meeting up with his brother in three days. Hubby now fears that his JW fanatical mother will "ruin things" by condeming his relationship with his brother. His brother is easily swayed by the mother. For this reason, hubby is afraid to call his mother and tell her about the "reunion". I told hubby that his mother is bound to find out anyway through his brother, so don't sweat it. Hopefully my bro-in-law will have the guts to stand up to his mother, if necessary. This "loving" religion has got this family SO SCREWED up it is hideous. Hmmmm, I wonder what will be going through my bro-in-laws mind the next time he stands before his congregation in his role as Elder and has to give a talk on "associating with non-believers". Hmmmmm, how is that going to work out for him?????

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