How to break it to my young children we are not JWs anymore? (page 2)

confusedjw

Stay with Uncle Richy in his van down by the river!

It's late and I can tell you more about what I did later, but the key is - they will trust you as you steer the ship steady. Even if that means a gentle turn. It's the quick zig zags that knock people onto the deck as it takes their feet out from underneath them. You just gently tell them that it turns out you were wrong on a few things and they'll be ok as Dad and Mom are still strong and steady. You tell them that you and Mom have learned that some holiday's aren't bad and that they can decide - on their own - if they want to participate in school. It's okay either way with JEHOVAH and you and Mom.

You'll do just fine.

Lehaa

My kids coped fine when I told them I was no longer a witness, I know my son is relieved. He loves the freedom of now being just like the other kids at school, doing things with them, and most of all b'days and Christmas.

Kids are very adaptable, they cope better than we give them credit for. Just make sure that other JW don't try scare the crap out of them saying they'll die etc.

Oh by the way my kids were 6 1/2 and 2 1/2 when i left the Borg.

Congratulations on making a tough decision, just think of the heart ache you are saving you're kids.

thom

My daughter was older than your kids when I told her. She was 12. But she was very happy to hear it. She never really believed it anyway.

ithinkisee

Billygoat said:

Whoa. Did I miss something? Last I knew wifey was finishing Toxic Faith and had just come back from a meeting. This is great news, but I feel like I've missed a thread.

Well, I messed up and used up my TWO POST LIMIT so I won't be able to post a new one for 24-hours.
I do have an UPDATE though - I'll post tomorrow.
But the short version is: My wife is 100% sure we will not be JWs. She is scared to death of making new friends - but on the other hand is excited about it. SHe is excited to go to college and learn about a topic she is very passionate about. We talked for hours one night in bed about how messed up the WT Society is. We talked about issues with family members. She is ready to take on some family members - nervous about some others. She is excited about the move to NC and is positive we are making the right decision. We both agreed we do not want our status as ex-JWs to define us - as if we need to spend the rest of our lives proving to family members and old JW friends that we don't need the JWs or anything. The author of that book "Toxic Faith" has a network of support groups. She found one near the town we will be living in and wants to attend it. The author of the book is a Christian, but does not even appear to foist that on the support groups. Atheists and Christians and so forth can be in the same room supporting themselves in getting out of the toxic religions. (Kinda like JWD ... lol) So naturally, next up will be how to introduce the "real world" to our children. . . . .
-ithinkisee

Lehaa

She was 12. But she was very happy to hear it. She never really believed it anyway.

Smart Kid, you must have raised her well. Congrats

rebel8

I would have absolutely loved it at any given moment during my childhood JW career if my mother said we weren't going to be JWs. I may not have said it out loud, but I would have been ecstatic.

My mother said when we converted to JW that she made a mistake, found out god doesn't love catholics, yadda, yadda. Made sense to me at the time (7 yrs old) so like others said it would probably be understandable to your kids. Of course, instead you would say you and mom realized god doesn't have an organization instead of saying god doesn't love JWs, but you get the idea.

You may want to add that you and their mom have not left god at all, but rather decided to get closer to god by spending your time doing his will rather than going in field service, reading books written by humans, and going to meetings/assemblies--all of which you and mom have realized are a waste of time and distract from having a real relationship with god. See, that sounds good even to me, and I don't even believe in god.

Legolas

Glad to hear that ITIS!

Abaddon

Well, if they are truely sincere little beliving kids, you might have to break it to them gently.

If they are normal kids well on the way to developing a full-fledged double life, they could well do back-flips with joy. When older, when they fully appreciate the life of shit you are saving them from, they may well build libraries and name after you to show their appreciation and love.

Just make sure that there is an obvious plus side presented to them along with the 'not a jw any more' in case the indoctrination has got them and they are worried about not being a JW.

"Kids, would you kill someone if they liked Pepsi more than Coke?" (Allow for answer) "Precisely! Do you think god would kill soemone because they liked Pepsi more than Coke? (Allow for answer) Precisely! Mummy and daddy have been doing a lot of reading and studying, and we don't think it is right for people to go round saying that god doesn't like good people because they do things slightly different, or believe things slightly different to others."

"Now, the people at the Kingdon Hall, they don't don;t think like that, and we don't think it's a nice idea to spend time with people like that - people who think god is their special friend and not other good peoples friend as well. It's nasty and big-headed and so not true. So we won't be going to meetings anymore, we will be celebrating birthdays and Christmas - because once we started thinking about it the idea of god being angry with people for showing that they love their friends and family is just silly (and when did you ever hear of anyone having their head cut off at a birthday party) and I'm gonna buy you ALL the Harry Potter books. Okay? Any questions?" (Allow for answer) "Precisely! Good. Who wants ice cream?"

DannyHaszard

"Make it Maine" Danny, now a born-again Christian!

Pic age 29 1989 was a devout JW then what a waste!

For what it's worth,i am not a pushy born again my point is i am now more NOT less.

carla

I think Freeminds had an article about that. Might check there too. carla

How to break it to my young children we are not JWs anymore?

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