Post Your Jokes Here Thread............ (page 9)

JW83

LOL at the Mullet! Can you believe they are back in fashion?! No, no, no !!!!

colorado5591

BACK IN FASHION???? Here in Texas they have always been in fashion. I make fun of every mullet I cross paths with, so I'm pretty busy with that.

Mr. Blue

Shakesperian Joke

An father was out shopping one day with his son. The boy spotted

a man who was bowlegged. The boy pulled on dad's hand and said ,

"Poppa, look at the bowlegged man!"

The father was mortified and told his son that it was not polite

to point to a person and make that sort of comment. For

punishment, the boy had to read a play by Shakespeare. He

couldn't go shopping again until he finished reading the play.

Finally he finished and his dad took him once again to the mall.

Again he spied a bowlegged man, but remembered what happened the

last time. So he pulled on his father's hand and said, "Lo, what

manner of men are these, who wear their balls in parentheses?"

Frannie Banannie

Me and You are Friends.......
You Fight, I Fight........

You Hurt, I Hurt........

You Cry, I Cry.........

You Jump Off a Bridge....

I'm Gonna Miss Your Dumb ass !!! !

Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said: "This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them.."

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they could seek food from the sea. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.

The audience applauded enthusiastically. Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "Idiots, Hebrew is read from right to left...... It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Woman'"

Frannie Banannie

And a little something for the men.....

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally,
the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side Now here are the
rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the

's Secret girls don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's
like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. And
send this to as many women as you wish who will laugh even harder

Post Your Jokes Here Thread............

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