Post Your Jokes Here Thread............ (page 10)

jeeprube

"Good morning, we're in your neighborhood today, talking to your neighbors, about a neighborly message. Have you ever wondered why we have neighborhoods? Well the latest issue of the Awake magazine will show you that neighborhoods are actually created by the devil................."

Frannie Banannie

A general practitioner and a nurse were on the
train, going to a medical
conference. Opposite them was a man furiously
scratching his elbow.
"I wonder what's the matter with him?" said the
nurse.
"He's a patient of mine," the doctor replied,
"and, in confidence, can tell
you that he suffers badly from hemorrhoids."
"Well, why is he scratching there, then?"
"Oh, he's the Mayor of New Orleans .
He doesn't know his ass from his elbow."

Frannie Banannie

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING 3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. 5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. 6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF. THE AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Frannie Banannie

> >A pompous minister was seated next to a
hillbilly on a flight across the
> >country. After the plane was airbourne, drink
orders were taken. The
> >hillbilly asked for a whiskey and soda which
was brought and placed
before
>
> >him.
> >The flight attendant then asked the minister
if he would like a drink. He
> >replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely
raped by brazen whores than
> let
> >liquor touch these lips."
> >The hillbilly then handed his drink back to
the flight attendant and
said,
>
> >"Shit, me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

Frannie Banannie

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blond lady walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement & announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blond?

We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.

Bubba and Junior are currently doing government work supervising the reconstruction of those New Orleans Levees.

Frannie Banannie

A guy comes into the ER with burns to both sides of his face.

The nurse asked him what happened.

"Well, I was ironing and the phone rang. I accidently held the iron up to my face and burned it"

"OK," says the nurse, "what about the other side?"

"That bastard called me back!"

Frannie Banannie

How to give your cat a pill......

http://www.mamarocks.com/how_to_give_your_cat_a_pill.htm

(turn your sound up -- this is really clever)

gumby

Franny.....there are about 8 of your threads all resurrected by you in the last 2 pages here. Is this Franny week or sumpin?

Gumby

Frannie Banannie

Bobbitt Family Update In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with...... . . . . . . . . . . A Misdewiener! OH, don't groan. You know darn well you're going to send this on to somebody

Post Your Jokes Here Thread............

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