A Customer really pissed me off yesterday at work: SHE WANTS TO PRAY for me

by Terry 116 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Sara Annie

  When people confront me with my foibles and pecadillos I am grateful after I get over being seen as less than perfect :)

  It generally sucks to hear it, but we almost always learn something relatively useful about ourselves, don't we?

  I'm curious, though. When the situation in your original post was reversed in the past, and you were the 'religious fanatic' with all the smug answers, what could someone have said (or did they say) to you that would have impressed upon you displeasure with your condescension without your simply dismissing it on the grounds that they were misguided and firmly entrenched in Satan's world? Would anything they said to you during that conversation have made you see the error of your ways, or would it have likely ended in greater frustration to them, and more proof to you that you were on the right path?
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  Stock up on these, Terry, so you'll be ready for next time!
• 

  Terry

  I'm curious, though. When the situation in your original post was reversed in the past, and you were the 'religious fanatic' with all the smug answers, what could someone have said (or did they say) to you that would have impressed upon you displeasure with your condescension without your simply dismissing it on the grounds that they were misguided and firmly entrenched in Satan's world? Would anything they said to you during that conversation have made you see the error of your ways, or would it have likely ended in greater frustration to them, and more proof to you that you were on the right path?

  Generally, the advantage a Jehovah's Witness has in speaking to people at large (even ordinary everyday Christians) is the framing of the conversation in terms of dogma. The structure isn't about information exchange at all. It is about knocking the ball out of the park with a mighty swing!

  An honest person doesn't ask questions on a META level and consequently doesn't expect answers on a META level. The JW (and I was one!) is always in the META mode. Recursive rebuttal is disconcerting for people unaccustomed to engaging in it.

  The best way to have handled me was the way I was handled by one of my best Presbyterian friends whom I worked with long ago.

  He stuck with actual issues about my real life! He wouldn't let me spring into the abstract discussion mode.

  "Terry, don't you think it is important to earn enough money to afford insurance for your kid's so they can have dental attention? And what about life insurance and disability in case you lose your earning capacity? Who will take care of you and your family if there is a serious illness? Don't you want to encourage your kids to go to college so they can have a chance at a better life? How are they going to live decently without a competitive advantage education-wise?"

  The above pinpointed my weakness as a JW. I spent too much time going out in service and didn't take earning a living (as the sole support in my household) seriously enough from a so-called WORLDLY point of view. This made me very uneasy since it was a wedge issue I couldn't wriggle out of.

  Further, my friend nailed me about being uncharitable. I seemed to badmouth any Charity he mentioned and he turned it around on me and asked what kinds of charities the Jehovah's Witnesses provided. That was enough to make me squirm. There are no good answers to that one!

  T
• 

  Terry

  I think it was her opinions more than her actions that bothered you. I wonder how offended you would have been if she had espoused the same viewpoint that you have

  Well, for one thing, the title of my post would have been worded differently! "A Customer really made me happy yesterday at work: SHE AGREED WITH ME!

  Besides, you didn't say anything to her about her action being offensive--you only made statements that disagreed with her position

  REALITY ALERT! She was a customer and my boss would not put up with such dialogue on my part.

  Actually, it looks like you are the one who set the tone for the way the conversation

  Really? She asked my questions and I answered. What tone?

  You used the phrase "religious fanatic" which carries with it negative connotations and is generally considered derogetory

  It would have been quite dishonest to term myself as zealously eager to do God's will, yet prey to human error the way a Watchtower article might speak about its own misdeeds.

  I noticed you went from claiming to be agnostic and not really knowing, to making a very authoritative statement about the "empty sky" and "silent room

  The reason I suggested in an earlier post that you should have mentioned that you came out of JW

  I would have wanted to hear more about that, especially since I don't think that is a proper application of "Love your enemies."

  Being an agnostic means I DON'T KNOW if God actually exists. What I do know is that the sky is empty and God does not answer prayers. I chalk that up as negative evidence which I consider an important consideration in my lack of belief.

  Actually, I did mention it when I talked about my prison experience. (That I came out of JW's)

  I framed the whole issue with how I felt back then contrasted with how I feel now and that is when I called myself a religious fanatic. I told her that "back then I didn't believe it was Christian to kill people" but, now I'm convinced it is perfectly okay for a devout Christian to kill people." I was being ironic; but, I often say things that have meaning to me and go over the head of the other person. I talk with people who are religious and find it very unentertaining. So, I play a little game with myself as I speak to them to make it interesting for me.

  It helps me hide my general disdain. I see now I should have hidden it better.

  Terry
• 

  ESTEE

  Soooo ... you figure this brainwashed christian woman will be back to see if she had indeed saved your sorry soul?

  "You could have been a MARTYR for Christ! That would be wonderful!!"

  Ick! This is one sick twisted sista-woman!!! Seems once these people have been saved, they lose all sense of common sense or decency. Sounds like in her religion, abuse is okay...?

  Love,

  ESTEE
• 

  hmike

  Besides, you didn't say anything to her about her action being offensive--you only made statements that disagreed with her position

  REALITY ALERT!; She was a customer and my boss would not put up with such dialogue on my part.

  OK, but my point is that if you didn't like her action, just disagreeing with her opinion or claims wouldn't change anything. Some people like to argue.

  Actually, it looks like you are the one who set the tone for the way the conversation

  Really? She asked my questions and I answered. What tone?

  What I meant is that you put her on the defensive with the "religious fanatic" comment. Whether she was conscious of it or not, in her mind, that's what you were calling her.

  Actually, I did mention it when I talked about my prison experience. (That I came out of JW's)

  I didn't see it in your original account. A person didn't have to be a JW to object to military service on religious grounds.

  I often say things that have meaning to me and go over the head of the other person. I talk with people who are religious and find it very unentertaining. So, I play a little game with myself as I speak to them to make it interesting for me.

  OK, so accurate communication is not the objective. Then don't be surprised when other people don't get your point. That's definitely not going to change anything, if that is what you seek to do.
• 

  Terry

  OK, so accurate communication is not the objective. Then don't be surprised when other people don't get your point. That's definitely not going to change anything, if that is what you seek to do.

  When somebody asks me a question I answer them accurately. The point here is that the lady I was talking to was not listening to the content of my thoughts. She was shut off from actual back and forth exchange. She was in that mode of operation that enabled her to tap in to absolute certainty. In her view, I needed to be prayed for. I needed to submit myself to the spirit of god and shut my active and analytic mind off LIKE SHE HAD DONE.

  When exhange of information stops, yet, the conversation continues it can be pretty boring. It is at this stage I usually entertain myself.

  T