What Is The Worst Movie You Have Ever Seen? (page 11)

stillajwexelder

I agree - any movie with Jet Li so far to me has been c**p

Death Wish III starring Charles Bronson. I just saw it on HBO the other day (well, at least part of it) and it made me forget every bad movie I've seen. The actors sound like they are reading the script while sitting on a toilet after a triple dose of Ex-Lax. Even the camera man was horrible. In one scene Bronson is showing his friend a bullet he had just filled by hand. The subject of the scene is the bullet,and the camera never even focuses on it. It just lies in the foreground all fuzzy while the moron in the back steals the shot looking at the bullet. Inspirationally bad.

nilfun

The only thing good about Troy -- Eric Bana.

nowisee

mary reilly with julia roberts. oh it was awful. she was awful. can you imagine her playing a 19th century brit?? gag.

some have mentioned lost in translation which i loved. however i was totally disappointed with broken flowers. what a letdown.

generally i listen to the critics and usually manage to avoid the really bad movies. i have better things to do with my time and $.

GentlyFeral

Ah! Some Netflix rentals that I hated:

A Charlie Brown Christmas – When I was a child, this was one of my favorite Christmas specials. Unfortunately, it has not held up. Viewing it again for the first time in 30 years, I was shocked at the crudity of the animation, the badly timed gags, the disjointed script, and – aiee! – the klutzy Hanna-Barbera sound effects! In fact, I couldn't watch more than ten minutes and will probably never attempt to watch it again.
(3 people found this review helpful.)
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (the 1971 version w/ Gene Wilder; not the latest one w/ Johnny Depp) – Truly, truly awful. A waste of time, space, and money. The score is possibly the most insipid music ever produced in the Western world, and the set designs are all Disney rejects. To keep from going insane from the horrendous sights and sounds, fast-forward over every scene in which Gene Wilder does not appear. His arch portrayal of confectionery genius Willy Wonka is the only redeeming feature of this film.
(4 people found this review helpful.)
Edge of Seventeen – I must be allergic to the '80's. Watching the trailer – the music! the clothes! the hair! – was so appalling that I couldn't even play the movie. So, unfortunately, I can't even assess the acting or script. For some reason, though, the trailer seemed to consist of the most clumsily acted scenes; at least, I hope so.
Velvet Goldmine – It was a pleasure, as usual, to see Jonathan Rhys Myers. Unfortunately the beginning of this film was so unwatchable I didn't stick around for the sex scenes! Once again, a potentially fascinating story is spoiled by insipid dialogue, bad timing, poor acting, and – unforgivable in a movie about music – uneven sound quality (much of the narration and dialogue was nearly inaudible).
(3 people found this review helpful.)
Snow Falling on Cedars – A potentially interesting story of greed, revenge, and racial tension was swamped by the director's obsession with pretentious artsiness. I left the room after 45 minutes, leaving my husband and daughter to laugh their asses off at the overblown music and film-school cinematography.
Farinelli – I picked this movie for the storyline, which sounded interesting, but the acting was pretty much either stand-and-model or melodramatic. The dubbed castrato singing sounded mostly implausible, or (when it worked) slightly creepy. "Farinelli" reminded me why I don't like opera.
(1 person found this review helpful.)
The Beach – Not a total waste of time, but it suffers from comparison with Truffaut's Stolen Kisses, which I watched the same weekend. Richard and Antoine Doinel are both spoiled innocents who are not nearly as kind as they think they are. Yet Richard is merely an unmalicious maw, swallowing down pleasures without thinking or meaning any harm, whereas Antoine struggles – cluelessly, it's true – but tries to make some sense of his cravings and his bad luck. I walked out of The Beach halfway through – from boredom, not disgust – and I am a stone DiCaprio fan.
(5 people found this review helpful.)
Vampyros Lesbos – Visual compositions attractive throughout; soundtrack interesting except for use of kitschy electric organ; beautiful lead actresses, tempting skin/sex scenes. Otherwise HORRIBLE.
(6 people found this review helpful.)
The Family Man – I think the whole "It's a Wonderful Life" scenario, fresh and inspiring in Capra's day, has been done to death. Surely, the whole "it's not about money" message is still worth hearing – but the script undercuts it. What impressed me about Jack Campbell's unexamined life was that he was using his gifts to the fullest. For him it wasn't about the Armani suits and the opera; it really was about the art of the deal. Kidnapped to suburbia by the gods, he was crippled and stifled. The darling wife and children, the loyal friends, really did belong to someone else (and what a context to find room for a Rimbaud quote: "Je est un autre"!) I think Campbell fulfilled the angel's command to "figure it out" when he broke into the stock market again. The acting in The Family Man is decent, but the discordant script would have earned ONE star. Mackenzie Vega as little Annie earned another star all by herself.
(5 people found this review helpful.)
Jules and Jim – I know, I know, it's a classic of modern cinema and was a groundbreaker in its time. But Jesus, she inveigles one of her lovers into a car and drives off a bridge! Jesus! I hate Thomas Hardy's Jude the Obscure for the same reason - an innocent character killed horribly and pointlessly by another deluded character. Yeah, so that was a spoiler. ~~Sue~~ Bite me.
Spike & Mike's Sick & Twisted Animation – Sick & Twisted in all the wrong ways...and none of the right ones. To put it bluntly, I don't like poo jokes.

gently feral

Dino

Ishtar! Surely the worst ass-whipping of all time.

Dino

dh

bad boy bubby

What Is The Worst Movie You Have Ever Seen?

stillajwexelder

Jourles

new light

nilfun

nowisee

GentlyFeral

Dino

dh

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